My husband cheated on me a while ago with my elderly sister’s daughter. My heart almost gave out when I found out. Honestly, I am surprised the shock didn’t end me. I never for the life of me thought that my husband would look at another man let alone get involved with my own niece.

I suffered a lot. Emotionally, I was damaged. Mentally, I was broken. I don’t know how I got better or even if I did. Maybe the pain lessened but the memory stings.

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All the love I had for him disappeared when that issue happened. I thought about leaving but he wouldn’t let me. He kept apologizing and apologizing until I changed my mind and stayed. “I am only here for the kids,” I said to myself.

For a while, he appeared to have changed. He stayed at home quite often. He was eager to do things around the house. If I needed to run some errands, he would volunteer to do it. That’s how I felt convinced that he had changed. So I let my guard down and kept busy running our home and taking care of the kids.

Because of his work, he doesn’t live in the same town as us. We also don’t want to move the kids around too much. Which means, he is the one who does most of the visiting. So I am not privy to the life he lives over there. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it, considering his history, so I closed my mind to that part of his life I didn’t have access to.

I probably would have kept minding my business but he started acting different all of a sudden. Now he puts his phone on silent every time he visits us. Also, he is always in a hurry to leave. He would spend only two days and start giving me excuses about everything he had to go back and do.

I also noticed that he doesn’t answer calls from specific numbers when he is with me. But as soon as I leave his presence for a moment, he talks to whoever is on the other side. He would speak in hush tones and hang up the moment he sees me coming. You would think he wasn’t doing anything.

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somehow he thinks he is doing a good job at covering his tracks but I see through him. He gives himself away without noticing it. No matter how smart he thinks he is, there is always something he does that suggests there are other women in his life.

I have already experienced this whole cheating thing once. I don’t want to witness it for the second time again. When the first one happened, people didn’t believe me because he is a pastor. Even my own mother took his side. The pain alone was unfathomable. Had it not been for God, I wouldn’t have been here today.

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I haven’t been happy in the marriage since that thing happened. Now he is showing signs again and I don’t even know who to talk to. My family has proved that they won’t take my side. As for his family, it’s worse. They act as if they like me but they don’t see me as anything. They go about spreading false rumours about me just to make me look bad.

I would have moved out long ago but I don’t have a job. He is the one providing for everything, including our rent. So if I leave now where will I go with my two children? While I am still here, I need advice on how to protect my heart from this deceitful husband of mine who fools everyone with his innocent face?

—Akua

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