Two years later, Jonas gave me no reason for our break up. I’d moved on. I’d met a guy who was doing the right things for me. I was happy. They leave you for no reason but somewhere along the line, you meet someone who does all the right things for you and you become grateful that the past relationship didn’t work. Somewhere along the line, I saw his wedding invitation. He was getting married to the same girl we always fought about. The girl he told me was nothing to him. To be honest with you, a little bit of me was bruised. I felt the whole relationship with him was a lie. I spent a whole year being a blameless girlfriend while he went around taking me for a fool.

So I called him that day, “Jonas, you see that I’ve always been right? You were the one lying to me but you made it look like I was the crazy one. You’re getting married to Esther, how come? You wasted the years in our relationship denying an affair with her. Tell me what happened.” He spent several seconds fumbling for words. He finally said, “It’s not what you think. A lot of things changed somewhere along the line. Even if I explain it to you, you won’t understand. I’m very sorry. I still love you but I have to do this just to satisfy a circumstance.”

“What circumstance is that, Jonas? Even when you have nothing to lose, you’re still going to lie to me? Just tell me the truth and I will forgive you truly.” He responded, “This is not the appropriate time. If you’ll allow us to meet somewhere, I will come clean and explain everything to you.” 

We schedule a date. A date to seek closure from all the lies. I waited for him that day but he didn’t come. He gave me excuses. He said they had to attend emergency counselling and their counsellor took all their time. I listened to him and I knew he was lying. I knew Jonas more than I knew the dress I wore. There are hitches in his voice anytime he tries to lie. I didn’t argue with him. I asked, “So when again?” He gave me another date. We were supposed to meet in town but he never came.

I sent him a message, “Obviously, you’re trying to run from the conversation just like you always do. No problem. Go on with your life. I will be fine.” He sent a message back, “Rose, you don’t know what is happening to me. You know I still love you and seeing you will bring back memories. I may act foolishly around you. That’s what I’m trying to avoid.” My temperature went up. If there was a tool to measure anger, mine would have recorded the highest figure. “What is this guy telling me? He loves who? Even a week before his wedding he’s still lying through his teeth?” 

But I saw an opportunity in his own words and decided to exploit it. I woke up the next morning and sent him a text message; “I’m trying my best to see you before you get married because I feel like there’s an unfinished business between us. The way you left me was too sudden. I didn’t prepare for it so I didn’t get to say goodbye properly. This keeps haunting me, that’s why I want to see you so both of us can have the closure we deserve.” He called my line to be sure I was the one who sent him the message. He asked me, “So why haven’t you said it all this while? It’s the same feeling I have for you. I know I’ve said sorry to you on several occasions but I feel those are not enough. Let’s meet and talk. I’m missing you more.”

We agreed he would come to my house on Thursday night. His traditional marriage was on Friday and then the wedding on Saturday. He came home around 6pm after work. He looked well-fed and ready for his wedding. Even his haircut was different. It was a cut fit for the wedding suit. immediately I ushered him in, he sat on my bed. He pressed the mattress down and said, “I miss this bed. All the memories are now going to waste.” He looked around searching for what was changed. There was nothing new. “After all these years that I’ve been away, it still feels like just yesterday when I was here.” I gave him something to drink and I sat next to him on my bed. I said, “Now let’s talk. Let’s start with why it’s Esther you’re getting married to and not any other lady. I thought you said she was nothing to you?”

He tried his best to tell me a Hollywood scripted story but his reasoning was disjointed at best and the hitches in his voice were rampant; “You see, I and Ester come from the same village. Our parents knew each other even before we met. Everything that is happening today is based on the influence of our parents. She knows you’re the one I love.” My heart skipped. If he was clever, he would have noticed I was angry. If he wasn’t selfish and took a critical look at me, he would have known my body cringed each time he tried to touch me. He came here for an agenda and he couldn’t wait to get on with it. He said, “I’m sorry but I will always love you.” He leaned forward trying to kiss me. I turned away. He started pleading;

“Let’s make today memorable. I know you hate me but please bury the hatred somewhere and let’s close this chapter the right way.”

This is a guy who left me twice because he suspected I was cheating on him. He didn’t have any evidence but each time he had the feeling, he sent a breakup message. I was the one begging him to forgive me. I would go to his place, cook for him and wash for him. I will use my own money to prepare those dishes. I won’t even taste it to see whether there was too much salt or not. He won’t say thank you. He would tell me, “This is your last warning. The next time this comes up again, it’s over between us.”

READ ALSO: The Man I Met On Tinder 

I was only his girlfriend but he didn’t condone cheating from me even when it was fictional. He was getting married in two days but was ready to cheat on his fiancee. I excused myself and went to the washroom. When I returned, he was completely naked waiting for me. I went to the bath to wear tight jeans under my cloth just in case push comes to shove. When he saw me coming, he got up to meet me. I told him to rest while I take over. He lay on his back, closed his eyes waiting for me to jump on him. I took my phone and started recording him. Honestly, I was too scared so my hands were even shaking. I stood by the door just in case. When he opened his eyes and saw the phone he jumped up toward me, “What are you doing?”

Before he would land, I was out of the door. He couldn’t chase me because he was naked. I went straight to my co-tenant’s room. He thought I had run out of the house so he started calling my phone. I picked up and told him to leave. He was begging me on the phone, almost crying. “Why are you doing this to me? Are you trying to destroy my marriage? Please don’t do this. What do you want? Just tell me and I’m ready to do it for you.” I told him, “All I want is for you to leave my room. We’ll talk. You think I’m a fool right? Go and marry her. You’ll hear from me at the right time.”

I woke up the next morning and saw MoMo on my phone. It was from him. He sent me GHC1,000. He sent a voice note begging me to give him time. “I will add more after the wedding, trust me.” I didn’t respond. He called me afterwards but I didn’t pick up. The funny thing was, the video I took was too bad his face didn’t even show. It will take someone who knows him too well to know that the person in the video was him. I was laughing in my head and enjoying my little victory. I could imagine him shaking when the pastor asked if anyone had a reason why they couldn’t be married. He might have thought that I was coming for him but I didn’t have that time. 

After the wedding, he sent me another GHC1,000. He begged to talk to me but I didn’t give him an audience. When I realized he needed my voice to stay calm, I called to tell him, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to use the video against you in any way. I want you to learn a lesson that you can’t take every woman for a fool. I’ve moved on and I’m glad I got the closure I needed.” He didn’t believe me. He woke up every day trying to apologize to me. Even when I told him I’d deleted the video, he didn’t believe me but it’s true. I don’t have it. Keeping it kept me glued to the thought of him. I needed to move on completely so I deleted it.

What Women Do When They Are No Longer Interested In You–Beads Media

Jonas, yes, this is not your real name but I this is your story and you’ll know it’s yours when you read it. If you’re here reading this, which I hope you will because you know about Silent Beads, I want you to hear me out. I don’t have the video I took. It was shaky and I didn’t even get your face. That aside, I’ve deleted it from my phone because I want to move on completely. Maybe, I’m the one you treated badly but you’re treating Esther right, that’s why she married you. I won’t destroy your marriage for anything. I want you to be happy. I want you to have a clean conscience but most importantly, I hope you learn not to cheat on your wife. Also, thanks for the money you sent me. It helped solve a lot of problems in my life and I’m very grateful. Go on, live your life. Enjoy your marriage. You’re no longer under my snare. You’re set free.”   

-Rose

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

******