If I were to calculate how long we’ve been together, I would say six years. I used to think we were on the same page however, I can’t say that after recent developments. I’ve been supportive of her right from the moment I expressed interest in her. I remember when she told me, “I want to further my education but I don’t have the means. Who will support me?” I was so eager to prove my love that I assured her, “I will help you. Buy the school forms and apply. We will take it from there.” After all, why not push my woman to achieve her dreams?

As far as I was concerned, we were together in this. We were building something real. A future we could both be proud of. Agnes was so committed to me that I never doubted her loyalty. Everything I did, I had it in mind that she would stand by my side through thick and thin.

This strong faith I had in her was tested when I had to travel abroad. She was in her final year by then. It’s not as if I broke up with her before leaving. We agreed that we would continue the relationship over the long distance. I did my best to keep open lines of communication between us.

We stayed in touch and chatted often. I also sent her money regularly. I made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed to complete her education. Not for a minute did I suspect that she was up to anything other than her school.

She played the role of a good girl to the letter. There was absolutely no room for doubt in my heart when it came to her.

Four months ago, I returned home. She was excited to have me back. Our conversations flowed as they always did. Whenever I tried to see her, she was either too busy or something came up last minute. Even with this, I didn’t ask any questions until she finally arrived at my house the other day.

Imagine my shock when this woman I considered my girlfriend showed up at my house with a twenty-two-month-old boy. “This is my son,” she said.

I was too stunned to speak. I saw her holding the boy but I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing. When she saw the look of confusion on my face she waved me off and said, “You don’t have to worry. I am no longer with the boy’s father.” Meanwhile, that was the least of my concerns.

The entire time I was gone, my girl never mentioned another man to me. She said nothing about pregnancy or childbirth. It doesn’t feel good that I am finding out about her child after I arrived in the country. I feel so betrayed by her.

Although I am trying to be a gracious host, I am doing my best not to entertain her as I would the woman I love. I’m treating her like any other visitor. Can you blame me? How am I supposed to move forward with someone who hid such a significant part of their life from me? I spent years supporting her, believing we had a shared goal, only to be blindsided like this.

What’s worse is that my mother, who has always supported me and this relationship, isn’t around right now. She’ll be back next week, and I have no idea how she’ll react to this news. Knowing her, she’ll be deeply disappointed. I feel ashamed even thinking about telling her.

For six years, I’ve given my all to this woman—financially, emotionally, and mentally. Now it feels like all my efforts have gone to waste. It’s not even that she told me beforehand. She just showed up with the child as though it wasn’t a big deal.

Out of frustration and confusion, I went through her phone. What I found broke me even more. She’s still chatting with a man she had an affair with while in school. I’m aware of their past because I caught wind of it during the COVID lockdown. I forgave her when it happened, thinking she had changed. However, from her recent messages, it’s clear that she’s still emotionally attached to him and some of her other exes.

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I feel like a fool for trusting her. While I was sending her money and making sacrifices, she was living a life I knew nothing about.

So I’ve decided to cut off all the financial and emotional support I’ve been giving her the minute she leaves my place. It’s clear that this relationship has no future.

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I am currently sick. And she’s trying to convince me to come over to her place for medical treatment. She claims she wants to take care of me until I recover fully, but I can’t bring myself to trust her anymore. How do I know this isn’t just another ploy to manipulate me? After everything I’ve discovered, I can’t let my guard down around her.

Her actions have made me question everything about relationships in general. I feel like I can’t trust women anymore. If someone I’ve been with for six years can hide something as major as having a child, then what else might people be capable of?

— Pumah

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