In 2023, my marriage started facing some challenges. While we were trying to work things out, my husband asked me to quit my job. I didn’t want to complicate things further so I listened to him. I gave up my financial independence and became a stay-at-home wife. That’s not who I am. I have always worked to make sure I don’t depend on a man for all my needs. You know, there’s this liberating feeling that comes with having your own money as a woman. But I sacrificed my happiness just so I wouldn’t be seen as a difficult wife.
It was hard to settle into my new role right from the beginning. I missed working. I missed leaving the house in the morning knowing that I was contributing something to the world. Most importantly, I missed receiving a paycheck at the end of every month. When I felt too sad about the situation I told myself, “Maybe I am feeling this way because it’s a drastic change. Let me give myself time to get used to it.”
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
I even thought my husband had a plan to keep me occupied. As in, help me establish a business so that I would still have work to do. However, he didn’t like that idea either. “Who will take care of the house and the kids when you are not home?” We had two kids at the time but they didn’t require 24/7 attention from me like a newborn would. This meant he just wanted me to be at home.
While I was doing my best to settle into my new life, I got pregnant. This gave me something else to focus on. So I stopped stressing about not being able to work and directed my energy into taking care of myself and the baby.
By God’s grace, I delivered a healthy child who is currently one year old. Ever since I had the baby, I have been looking for an opportunity to return to work. I didn’t discuss it with my husband so I didn’t put myself out there actively searching for anything. I just mentioned it to a few people, that I would like to work again.
The good news is that I received a job offer recently. It’s from my old workplace. They want me to come back and work for them but this time around, it’s in a different region. While the news made me happy, I had to consider my husband’s reaction if I told him I was resuming work.
To figure out a way to handle the situation, I called my parents and broke the news to them. Sadly, I didn’t get the support I hoped I would get from them. Not even one of them encouraged me to take the job.
READ ALSO: My Boyfriend Is Angry Because I Allowed My Ex To Give Us A Lift
According to them, I should listen to my husband. “There is a reason he asked you to resign and stay at home. So don’t go against him,” they said. Another concern they raised was my kids. “Are you going to change your children’s lives drastically by uprooting them from their comfort zone because of a job? Also, they are three now so who is going to help you take care of them?”
I told them the plan was to leave the kids with their father and move away for the job. They called me selfish. “This job is not worth it. Let it go.” I couldn’t argue with them any longer so I agreed with them and ended the conversation.
She Left Me To Marry A Man Who Was Ready For Marriage
Honestly, I am sad at the thought of letting this opportunity go. My husband doesn’t even appreciate what I have sacrificed to stay at home for him. I am always working around the clock at home; I cook, I clean, I wash, I take care of the kids, I do everything. Yet he acts as if I have it easy staying at home. That’s why I want to leave the children with him. He needs to know how much I bring to the table even though I no longer contribute financially.
One time he even told me he can do better. That’s one of the things pushing me to take the job. Let him have the opportunity to do better. Now my question is, am I a bad mother for wanting to leave the children with him? Are my parents right?
— Sheila
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
It almost always never end well when a wife gives up her job just to appear as an obedient wife.
Life is full of surprises, uncertainties and people change for the worse at all times for which your husband is no exception.
Whatever the reason that led to the inception of the idea to quit your job should have been dealt with. Quitting is never an option.
Ladies please get this straight, men in our dispensation are not as loyal, responsible, appreciative and consistent as decades ago. You only quit and get a substitute at all times if need be.
In this day and age where money is needed for everything, what if he dies? Will you be able to continue to leave in the comfort zone your parents spoke about.
The only exception I can think about is if you have an investment that guarantees a reliable income flow.
Wise up dear ladies
My dear, why would your husband want you to give up your work before you can take care of your children? Are you the first working woman on planet earth to give birth? Haven’t you ever heard of women giving up their careers to stay at home, only for them to be subjected to emotional or physical abuse? Sometimes even money to take care of personal needs becomes an issue. No matter how good a man is, they see and treat you differently when you’re totally dependant on them. The fact the you’re married doesn’t mean you should lose the ability to think for yourself. You cant just up and leave your family because of a job. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work to earn something for yourself. In this day and age of digital marketing, you can run a business from home. Try and get some financial support from your siblings and start a business from home. You can use motorbikes to deliver the wares to your customers. If your husband’s business should run into problems, you will be the family’s back up plan. Don’t be totally dependent on another human being. It’s very dangerous. Even if your husband is unwilling to help you, help yourself. All the best.
Please take the job and inform your husband but be firm about your decision. Remember the hands that feed you can starve you. Life is full of surprises so it’s better for you to be financially prepared. Any man who tells you to quit your job does not mean you well. He wants you to be a slave to him. All these men like Bill Gates and Co have working wives and partners how much more you a mere man. Any good man will encourage you to work . After getting the job get the kids to join you. They can adopt to change with time. The rest they say is up to God and faith. Don’t forget to pray about everything you do.
you need to work
Marriage is a mutual obligation not dictatorship, even the bible tells us to work and support the needy
First it is not a selfish thought to go back to work but in another region will not be a good idea.
For your parents why do they depend on your husband financially?? Hmmm try negotiating with your employers to keep you in Accra so you can take care of your children.
Learn digital skills and work from home. There is a whole universe of possibilities with Internet.
You have to go back to work. The only problem with this job is that it requires you to work in another region. Discuss with your company and see if it’s possible for you to work where you currently live or if you can move back within two years. But I’ll strongly advise you to take the job. A man who orders you to quit your job and then belittles you for being a stay at home mum is not someone to sacrifice your dreams for. He’s a ticking time bomb. He can still leave you one day and then you’ll be the biggest loser. Be strong, stand firm.