Kwadwo and I have been friends for a year. His house is just across mine. He lives with his parents and siblings while I live alone. As our friendship grew stronger he told me, “Rosemond, I have been thinking of you a lot these days. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake and thoughts of your smiles are what lure me to sleep when I retire to bed at night. Everything about you makes me fall harder in love with you. I want you to be my girlfriend.” Honestly, the fondness I felt for him was only enough to sustain a friendship. I did not find him desirable. So I told him, “I am sorry, Kwadwo. I like you too but I don’t see you as a love interest. We can only be friends.”

He didn’t want to lose me completely so he accepted the friendship. What he didn’t know was that I turned him down because he lived under his parents’ roof. A man who lived with his parents was a complete turn-off for me. But I didn’t tell him that. We continued with our friendship and eventually moved past the whole love interest phase. He started relating with me as he would, a platonic friend. And we became very good friends, I could even say best friends.

Sometimes I would hang out with him and his friends. Other times too it would just be us. As time went on I started developing feelings for one of his friends. His name is Yaw. I couldn’t tell him how I felt so I asked Kwadwo to hook me up with the guy. “Your wish is my command, my lady.” He joked. He spoke to his friend on my behalf without any hesitation. Whatever he said to Yaw had him all over me in just a short while. I was very happy at how quickly he got results.

Without wasting time, Yaw and I started dating. I told Kwadwo about everything that happened in the relationship. Our fights, the happy moments, every little detail, even the nasty things we did together. Yes, Kwadwo and I had gotten that close. Unfortunately, I had to break up with Yaw after only two months. It was because he didn’t put any effort into the relationship. He didn’t give me any attention. He only visited me occasionally, and when he did, he would talk about his job. Even when we were apart, all he talked about was his job. I realized that he was already in a committed relationship with his job and I was just a side chick. I knew I deserved better than that so I walked away.

After my break up with Yaw, Kwadwo was there for me. He gave me his shoulders to cry on, and he made me laugh when I looked sad. He would joke, “Don’t cry over frogs, Princess. Someday your prince will come along.” I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through it all without him. He really was an amazing friend. About a year after my break up with Yaw, things between Kwadwo and I started taking a romantic turn.

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“I know you said you don’t see me as a love interest but I am in love with you again. Maybe I never even stopped loving you. Please give me a chance, and let me prove that I am the one for you.” By that time I had gotten to know him closely. I no longer saw him as a man who lived with his parents but as a man who could love me. So I agreed to give him a chance. We started dating, and everything was beautiful. I didn’t give it my all at first because I was scared, however, I noticed that Kwadwo was more serious about dating me than I could ever imagine. So I also matched his efforts. He showed me so much love, and I loved him in equal measure. He was the yin and I was the yang. We were perfectly in synch.

We were all happy until my cousin asked me a question that altered the way I perceived our relationship. She asked, “How can you date two friends? Don’t you know it is wrong? They could even be playing you. Maybe after Kwadwo has had his fill, another one of his friends will come along.” That question and comment she made tainted my beautiful relationship with Kwadwo. I became confused all of a sudden. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she could be right and I was probably too blinded by love to see what was going on.

Five days after my birthday, Kwadwo took me out so we could spend some time together and have fun. When we returned, I told him, “You are an amazing guy Kwadwo, but this relationship is no longer working for me.” “What did I do?” He asked, “Tell me how to make things work. I will do anything.” I could feel his heart breaking in his chest but I still walked away. I just needed to take a step back so I could understand what was really going on. But I ended up hurting him and hurting myself in the process. My heart is bleeding even though I am the one holding the knife.

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We really did love each other more than words can express. He wants me to give him another chance. And I also want him back very badly, but I am paranoid and terrified. What if he just wants to use and dump me as revenge for rejecting him the first time? Is my cousin right? Please advise me.

—Rosemond

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