When I saw my National Service posting, I forgot for a second that I was an adult. I squealed with excitement. I couldn’t believe that I had been placed in an oil company. I didn’t go through some back door to get there. I suppose that was what made it all so delightful. I was so immersed in the opportunity and what it meant for my career prospects that I didn’t submit my documents early.

By the time I was fulfilling all requirements to cement my slot, all the offices were full. I tried to persuade them to make room for me but they couldn’t do anything about it. All hope was not lost though. “We have slots in our service stations. Would you want to be posted to one of them?” They asked.

Honestly, I wasn’t happy about the alternative but it was better than struggling for another placement. Who knows where I would have even gotten? Anyway, I agreed to work at their service stations. I figured it would be more reasonable to complain about the position if I experienced it first. If it turned out to be good, then nothing to complain about.

Where I was sent was not close to home. That didn’t deter me because I was ready for the challenge. I told myself, “I am not going to be there forever. My business over there will last only one year. I will focus, finish my service, and then come home.” It all sounds so simple, right?

When I was making these plans I didn’t consider the fact that as humans we are social beings. Somehow, I thought I would quietly work with others without forming any attachments or building relationships. That’s my problem right now. I ended up falling in love with one of their attendants.

His name is Kay. The very first day I reported at work he was assigned to me. His instructions were to brief me about everything concerning the job and teach me how to do things. I wasn’t sure what to expect but he was patient. If I forgot something or made a mistake, he would calmly take me through it again. I couldn’t help but be filled with gratitude and praise for how well he handled things.

After that experience with him, things flowed easily between us. Our friendship was birthed before I had the time to register how comfortable we felt around each other. We talked about so many things that brought us joy. I was happy to meet someone away from home who felt like home.

A few months down the line, we became lovers. Yes, just like that. What surprised me about the whole thing is, that he told me he had a girlfriend right when our friendship was blooming. So what was I thinking allowing things to get out of hand?

After we did it the first time it turned into a relationship but I didn’t mind. I knew his girlfriend wasn’t in the town we lived in. As far as I was concerned, it was just the two of us over there.

Along the line, he started acting so busy. I would see him at work but he would ask me not to visit him. His reasons changed every single time. I never doubted him. Instead, I tried to be an understanding girlfriend and gave him space.

When he started coming around again, I went through his phone and discovered that his girlfriend had visited him. That was why he kept me at arm’s length. “Why did you feel the need to hide this from me? If you had told me, I would have understood and stayed away,” I told him. He didn’t have anything to say except, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you.” I didn’t drag the issue. Why would I do that when I already knew my place in his life?

Now, here is the problem. I left the service station a few months ago. Kay continues to act like my boyfriend. He has been helpful to me over the months. I am comfortable here but I am not happy.

I think about my life and my future and he is not in it. After all, I am just his side piece. What makes it worse is, that he is seriously promising marriage to different ladies in an attempt to hook up with them.

After some reflection, I made up my mind to break up with him. Just when I was about to have the conversation with him, he lost a parent. I decided then that I would wait until after the funeral. Only to go through his phone during his period of mourning and find that he was actively trying to hook up with other girls. So I broke up with him.

Seeing as he has other women I didn’t expect any drama from him. Well, he is not handling the breakup well. I don’t know if the timing is part but he says I am ungrateful. I don’t understand, am I supposed to be his side piece for as long as he wants to keep me? Knowing he has a girlfriend who lives out of town is one thing but to put up with him messing around with other girls is something I can’t do. Does this make me ungrateful like he is saying?

– Manan