One morning, I had a call from a number I didn’t know. I picked it up and it was a male’s voice. He said, “Am I talking to Niki’s collection?” I said “Yeah, this is Niki. How may I help you? He said, “The black sneakers you posted this morning. I want it.” I said, “I posted three of those this morning. Which one do you want? You can save the photo and send it to me through Whatsapp.” 

The line dropped. I went on my Whatsapp waiting for him to send the particular sneakers he was talking about. It took longer than I expected but he sent it anyway. He said, “This one. Can I get it today?” I said, “Sure you can. I’ll talk to the dispatch people and they’ll deliver it to you as soon as they can.” He said, “I don’t want any disappointments. I need it for a program tomorrow so kindly do whatever you can for me to have it.” I promised him he’ll have it that very day. I told him Nikki’s collection doesn’t disappoint. “Our aim is to delight our customers, sir. You’ll definitely have it today.” 

I started reaching out to the delivery guys I know. They were all busy. They told me they could send it early the next morning if it wouldn’t cause any problems. I said, “It can’t wait. The customer wants it today.” I tried other people. They all gave me excuses. It was around 3pm when I decided to send it to him myself. I called the number. I asked about his location. He said, “I’m in the office. If you can get here before 5pm, then you’ll find me.” I said, “Please wait no matter what. I’m on my way coming. You know Accra traffic. Be patient with me.” 

I got there around 5:15pm. He was waiting for me. He said, “You’ve wasted 15 minutes of my time. You’ll give me a discount.” He checked the shoes and paid for them.  Just when I was leaving he asked me, “Where are you going?” I said home. He asked, “Where’s home?” I said, “I live around Achimota.” He said, “It’s your lucky day. I’m going to Pokuasi. I can give you a lift if you don’t mind.” 

Minutes later I was in his car. The traffic was thick. The journey became longer. The silence between us became unsettling. He asked, “How long have you been doing this?” “Since I completed school,” I said. He asked, “It’s your own shop?” I said, “My uncle owns the physical shop. I own the online version. I advertise the items online. When I get a buyer, I pick the item from my uncle’s shop and deliver it to the buyer.” 

“You make money”

“Some days are good. Some days are dry. I try my best to get a lot of good days so I can make something for myself. 

“Your boyfriend doesn’t complain. Especially when you have to be traveling around meeting people?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend. And I’m not the one who does the deliveries. I came today because my delivery guys were busy. You wanted it today and I didn’t want to disappoint you. 

“Wow, you understand business.”

“I need the money.” 

I alighted at mile seven roundabout. Before I reached home he called. “Tomorrow, come to the office with the white one you posted today. I want that one too.” I said, “Why don’t I meet you at mile seven roundabout instead? It will be easier for both of us.” I was at the roundabouts at 5:15pm. He got there at almost 6pm. He took the shoes and gave me the money. I thanked him and he drove off. I counted the money and it was twice the amount. I called him. “You overpaid.” He answered, “You overstayed. I’m paying for keeping you waiting.”

We had a date one evening and he proposed. I said he should give me some time to think about it. When the night ended and we got closer to his car, he leaned in and kissed me. It was sudden and unexpected. I kissed back. When we pulled away from each other, I couldn’t look at him in the eyes. I was embarrassed that I kissed back. He said, “You’re my girlfriend from today. I love you.” I said under my breath, “I love you too.” 

Peter was a good guy. After seven months of dating, he helped me rent my own place and paid for me to start my degree course on weekends. After work each day, he’ll come for me and take me out. Some nights we ended up in his place and some other nights we ended up in my place. We were in my place often than his place. Whenever he came around, he left a piece of him in my room. He left a shirt. He left a boxer. He left a singlet and later came with a bag of clothes he kept at my end. I knew it was his way of painting his presence in my space. A way to mark his territory. To warn other men that he owned that space. I didn’t mind. He was the only one I had. 

We were out one night when his phone kept calling. He’ll look on the screen, and ignore the call. The call kept coming so I told him, “Why don’t you pick it and tell the person that you’re busy?” That way he/she will stop calling you.” He picked the next one. He couldn’t talk properly. From the crease on his brow, I sensed something was wrong. He spoke for some minutes in my presence and later moved away to continue with the call. When he came back he looked worried. I asked him, “Who called?” He said, “a friend.” His answer didn’t match his disposition. He was on his phone for the rest of the night, typing with creased brows.

We ended at my place that night. While he was asleep, I went through his phone. The one who called was Abiba. The one he was chatting with was the same Abiba. They’d been dating for so long before I came into the frame. They even had a baby together. Abiba lived in Takoradi. That night Abiba was asking why he hasn’t visited her in a month knowing that their baby wasn’t well. No matter how strong you are things like this will break you. You’ll blame yourself for not knowing the truth. You’ll curse yourself for losing your guard. 

When he woke up he said, “I’d wanted to tell you. I was waiting for the right time. I’m sorry you found out the way you did.” I asked him, “How old is the child?” He said, “A year and a half.” I asked him, “You two are still together?” He said, “No we are not. We broke up even before the child was born. She’s not the one. She says I’m not the one too. But we’ve agreed to take care of the kid together.” 

That morning I told him, “I don’t want to have a man I share with someone. I want my own. I want someone who’ll stay in my life through thick and thin. Most importantly, I don’t want to be the reason another woman will lose her man.” He said, “I know. I was raised by parents who have lived together for over thirty years. I see how my dad treats my mom and I want to treat my wife the same way. It’s unfortunate Abiba happened. But I’m glad both of us had moved on. I found you and it’s always going to be you.” 

When he left that day, I told myself it was over. But he kept coming until I accepted him again. Love was love. My heart was happy. Six months later he traveled. He told me he was going to spend a month but he’ll keep in touch throughout. We were talking each day until one early Sunday morning everything changed. I was on Facebook going through my timeline and reacting to things that deserved my reaction. I saw a couple in a wedding photo. The woman had a wide smile on. The man was looking down in a dance pose. I said in my head, “I can’t wait for the day I will wear my gown.” I swiped through the photos until the man’s face came out.

It was Peter. My heart. I went through the photos again. I didn’t want to believe it was him I was seeing. The second look didn’t change the fact that it was him. I called his line, he didn’t pick. I called again. He didn’t pick. I sent him a message; “Please call back when you read this. We need to talk.” He read the message and still didn’t call. I cried all day. I had a migraine. I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. In the night he called with cheers in his voice. I said, “You got married?” He asked, “Who told you?” I said, “You got married?” I saw the photos with my own eyes yet I wanted him to tell me it was not true. I needed to hear that it was a dream. He said, “Let me call you back.” 

He cut the line and never called back. He blocked my line. He blocked me on Whatsapp too. I went to his office a week later and they said he resigned. I went to his house. Neighbors told me he came for his things not too long ago. I wasn’t looking for him to get back together with him. I was looking for closure. The final conversation that would become the final bye-bye. I didn’t get it. I locked myself up in my room. I didn’t eat for days. I didn’t bathe for days. All I did was cry. I will get up in the morning, pull the curtains and watch the morning sun and later go back to sleep again—cry again. Everything made me sad but mornings came and evenings passed. I healed. I healed but his memory became a scar I couldn’t erase. 

A year later, I was in my room when I heard a knock. It was my birthday and I was getting ready to meet my friends for a small drink-up. I opened the door and it was him—Peter. I looked at him like I was seeing a ghost. He had a huge parcel in his hands. I said, “Did you miss your way?” He said, “Even if I close my eyes and decide to walk here I still won’t miss my way because the heart knows.” He put the parcel down. He said, “This is for you.” I said, “It’s been over a year. What do you want and why are you here?” He said, “I was stupid I know. I hurt you I know. I didn’t know what to say so I chose the easy way out. I’m sorry. I already had a child with her. My family wasn’t going to allow me to leave her so I did the easiest thing. You don’t have to believe me. You don’t have to even accept my apology but I’m still your Peter.”

He was looking good, to be honest. All the hurt and bitterness melted when I saw him speaking. So that evening, I went to the drink-up with him. We came back to my house. We spent the night together. We were back together again in a relationship. I missed him. I loved him. We had a score to settle—an unfinished business to finish. I asked myself, ”Were you not the woman who said you wanted your own man? Were you not the girl your mother raised not to couple with another woman’s husband? What happened? What changed?” 

It’s amazing how fast we become who we’ve vowed not to become in life. I was the second choice—the other woman in Peter’s life but I didn’t care. He came around often. I was there when he told his wife that he was thinking about her. I was there when he told her, ”Goodnight” and yet continued the night with me. I didn’t feel guilty. I rather felt entitled. It was my turn to have him and that was all that mattered. 

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I had a call one day and she said, “This is Abiba. I know you know me but I will introduce myself again. I’m the wife of the man you’re sleeping with. I’ve spoken to him often to leave his cheating ways but he won’t listen. He still comes to you. You don’t owe me anything. I can’t even be angry with you because it’s not your fault. It’s Peter who owes me loyalty and faithfulness. You don’t owe me anything. Yet, I chose to talk to you because you’re a woman. One day you’ll want your own man. I don’t believe you’ll like to share him like you’re sharing mine with me. Please walk away from him for my sake. I’m five months pregnant but I’m always depressed because of you and Peter. Can you make a sister happy? Can you see the wrong in this and choose the right way?”

I said, “Can you add him to this call?” She said, “Sure. If you want me to.”

Seconds later, his voice came through. He said hello. We both chorused, “Hello.” Abiba spoke first. “Peter, I have Nikki on the line. She has something to tell you.” Immediately I started talking, he left the conversation. She tried to add him again but he never picked the call. I told her my story. From when we met and how he got married without telling me. I heard Abiba crying on the phone. She asked me, “And you accepted him after everything?” I said, “I can’t understand my own heart again. How sinful it chose to be but I’m sorry. I’m deeply sorry for everything. I’ll take my bow now and this time it’s forever.”

I didn’t hear from Peter for over a month. The day he texted me I told him, “After chatting with you, I will send screenshots to your wife so be careful what you say.” He stopped the chat and called instead. I said, “Give me a minute.” He asked, “What are you doing?” I said, “I want to try and see if I can add your wife to the conversation.” He cut the line and never called back. That was two years ago. It took him a year to return after his wedding. This time, it has been two years already. I want to believe he’s never coming back again and even if he does, he wouldn’t meet the old Nikki again. That one died the day she spoke to his wife. This new Nikki is totally healed and has forgiven herself for being silly—for listening to her sinful heart. 

–Nikki

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