For some time now, my husband makes me pay for shuperu. He doesn’t ask for it like he used to. When we started, he was the one always chasing me for it. I didn’t say no to him. Never. Whenever he was on top, I played my part to make the whole thing exciting.

Two children later, he had stopped chasing me. When I go for it, he gives me excuses; “I’m tired let me sleep. Wake me up at dawn and let’s do it.” I would wake him up at dawn and my husband would get angry.

We had a deep conversation about it. He told me, “You’re always demanding something from me so I get tired. If only you’ll take some of the burden off, I will also get an erection for action.”

Since then, anytime I ask for it, I have to give something in exchange. Something like paying the housekeeping money for the week. Paying the kid’s class fees for the month or paying water bills for the month.

Out of frustration, I agree to do it but when this man comes on top, he does it like he had been starved of shuperu for a thousand years. He wants it but he won’t ask for it because he wants something in exchange.

I’ve decided not to go for it again and because of that, we’ve gone two months without shuperu. Is that how a husband should treat a woman he used his investment to marry?

Is not that he doesn’t have money. He’s well paid. He sends money to his family and even pays the school fees for his nieces and nephews. When he has to do something for us in the house, he complains and coerces me to agree to exchange something for shuperu.

I’m not built to cheat on my husband. Nothing in this world would push me to that end and he knows that. Maybe that’s the reason he’s treating me this way. The last time I threatened to report him to his family, he gave me a stern warning. I know him and I know he would go that far if I do it.

Is that normal? What can I do to him to get him to discharge his bedroom duties without making me pay for it? 

—Sally   

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