I was in SHS 3 when I first met him. We lived in the same neighborhood so he watched me from afar every time I closed from school. I had no idea. I barely even paid attention to him or any other boys. There were boys in my school who wanted to date me but I had a rule against dating someone I go to school with, so I turned all of them down. I didn’t exactly have any hopes of dating someone outside my school. I just wanted to focus on my studies.

On one rainy afternoon after school, I was buying food from a food joint when this guy came to me and asked for my name and number. I wasn’t in a good mood so I rudely dismissed him. Unfortunately for him, he was with his friends. They teased him for how I reacted to him but I didn’t care.

Another time, I met him again by the roadside. This time around he was alone, and I was in a good mood. He introduced himself, “Hi, my name is Joseph. May I know your name?” I smiled and also introduced myself to him. I took a good look at him and realized he was a very fine-looking guy. “Please give me your number,” he asked. “I am sorry but I don’t have a phone.” This was true. My parents wouldn’t buy me a phone until I complete school.

A few days after that encounter I met him again. He had an htc phone in his hand. When I stopped to say hello to him he gave the phone to me. “I want you to have this so we can talk,” he said. I was so touched by his kind gestures that I started softening toward him.

This guy didn’t have a car but all I had to do was text him that I had closed from school. He would wait for me at the school gate and we would walk to the station together to board a trotro (bus) home. Some of my classmates who saw us were jealous of us, and I felt happy to have a guy like Joseph. He made everything feel adventurous and exciting. Our first kiss was very memorable. It happened in a trotro when we were going home one day. I was so lost in the moment that the rest of the world ceased to exist. It was just us, sharing our hearts through a passionate kiss.

He was good to me. And I believed he was good for me. I remember our first official date in December of that year. I couldn’t believe he was mine. This guy was looking very hot like fried plantain. I drooled as I walked arm-in-arm with him. That night we went to see a movie at the West Hills Mall. After that, we took a stroll around the mall, bought some snacks, found ourselves a corner, and kissed the soul out of each other.

Everything was rosy and fun between us. Or so I thought. We made plans for the future. We discussed the number of kids we were going to have and the house we would live in. I had it all figured out. That was until I posted a photo of us on Facebook on his birthday. In the photo, we were kissing in a hotel room. That moment was special to me so I wanted to share it with the world. I even tagged him in it so everyone would know the cause of my happiness.

Joseph called me the moment he saw the photo. For the first time since I met him, he shouted at me. “Kayla, I don’t want people to know my business. Go and untag me from the photo and delete it. There are people on my friend list who respect me.” I thought he was overreacting so I told him I won’t do it. The next thing I saw, Joseph untagged himself from the picture. I felt embarrassed so I deleted the post.

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I found his behavior strange so I started digging into his life. He was smart but I was a girl on a mission. I found him out. Everything he was hiding came to light. The man who was everything to me had another woman on the side. This other girl bears my name. She was even born on a Monday just like me. He asked me to delete the photo because of her. I stalked her online and it turns out that she is rich.

Joseph was the sun that shone during my day and the moon that illuminated my sky at night. I loved him with all my soul. So when I found out about the other girl, I felt so shattered that I even tried to end my life. Luckily for me, I didn’t succeed. Unfortunately, my father hasn’t recovered from what I did. To date, he doesn’t talk to me. He said I tried to unalive myself without any care for the pain I would cause the people I would be leaving behind. I do hope someday he will forgive me and talk to me again.

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It’s been six years since our breakup, and Joseph is in my DMs begging me to take him back. I have a strict “say no to exes” rule so I’m never taking him back. As for the girl he cheated on me with, I heard she married someone else. Joseph believes I cursed him. And maybe he is right. I was hurt when things went south so I might have said some words out of pain. But that’s not my concern.

The good news is, I’m in a very stable and happy relationship. My man worships the ground I walk on. The relationship is new. It might end in tears or it might not. Whatever happens, I’m enjoying my newfound love. His birthday is coming up, so I am planning a huge surprise for him. Now, me too I have money to spoil my boyfriend.

#MyFirstRelationship

—Kayla 

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