One year into our relationship he told me; “I want to marry you so introduce me to your family.” I was only twenty-one by then. He was a thirty-something-year-old divorcé with two children. I didn’t know much about love and relationships. But I knew enough to know that I wanted to be married to him.

After I introduced him to my family, he brought his family to meet mine and they performed the knocking ceremony. I was in school at the time so both our families agreed that we would hold on with marriage plans until I was done with school.

I was young. Marriage wasn’t even on my list of priorities. So it didn’t bother me that the marriage wasn’t going to happen immediately. I just took my time and enjoyed the relationship. Oh, and I enjoyed every bit of it. He shopped for me and gave me money on a regular basis. He is the kind of man who would see another woman in a very beautiful hairstyle and give me money to go to the salon and get the same hairstyle.

We rarely had problems. On days we did, they never got the better of us. We overcame every obstacle that came our way. For four years, our relationship was fairly peaceful. I thought he would change eventually, but after four years together, he was still the same man I fell in love with. Whenever I visited him, he would give me a package saying; “I saw this and thought it would look good on you.” I would open it and find a dress, a pair of shoes, or a handbag. He is that thoughtful.

After I completed school I applied to join one of the security services. The person who was helping me asked for GHC15000 to complete the process for me. I didn’t have the money. When I told David about it, I didn’t expect him to give me all that money. “How much do you need?” He asked. I mentioned the amount as casually as one would say, “I have a headache.”

He just nodded and said, “I will give it to you.” I didn’t believe he meant the full amount until he put the money in my hands. They are yet to call me to come for training but I’m hopeful it will go through. That’s just how much he cared about me.

I never doubted my place in his life until people in his neighbourhood started whispering things. I visited him one day and a woman approached me when I was leaving. She told me, “Be careful. Your man has been bringing women around.” Another woman who lives in his neighbourhood also said the same thing to me.

I didn’t confront him. I just took the decision to quietly walk away from the relationship. When I broke up with him he was hurt. He asked me, “Why would you make a decision about our relationship based on rumours?” They told you that I am cheating but did you ask me if it’s true? Have you seen anything in this relationship to confirm the gossip you’ve heard?” He was right. I hadn’t seen anything to prove the women were right. But it didn’t matter to me at that moment. I just didn’t want to listen to him.

I was at work when he called. “I am at your workplace. I want to see you,” he requested. I told him I was busy so I couldn’t see him. After I closed from work, a male colleague offered me a lift. I was going to enter my colleague’s car when I heard him mention my name. It turned out he didn’t leave when I told him I was busy. He was waiting around for me. “Let me take you home,” he offered. I just looked at him and left with my colleague.

When I got home, he sent me a long message ranting about how hurt he felt when I ignored him. I felt very bad when I read his text. So I put my anger aside and decided to hear his side of the story. He asked me a lot of questions when we spoke. The one he kept repeating was, “Why would you break up with me over something you haven’t seen with your eyes? Is that how little you trust me?” I thought about all the times he was good to me. Surely, if he was a chronic cheat like the gossips made him out to be then I would have caught a whiff of it by now.

“I am sorry I reacted badly to rumors. I should have spoken to you about it first,” I apologized. He accepted my apology and we got back together as though nothing had happened. That was until David asked me out of the blue, “I am going to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth. I have put a curse on you and it will be activated if you lie, do you understand?” I nodded. He then asked, “Have you ever cheated on me?”

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Frankly, I would have lied if he hadn’t mentioned anything about a curse. I didn’t know if he was bluffing or not, but I didn’t want to risk it if he wasn’t. So I came clean. “It happened a long time ago. Before you performed the knocking rites. Our relationship was new and I wasn’t sure you were serious about me. I regretted it as soon as it happened and I have never repeated that mistake.” He was very quiet when I finished talking.

Everything he said after that sounded emotional. I apologized as sincerely as I could. He assured me that he didn’t have a problem with it since it happened long ago. The next day he even took me out on a date. The vibe was the same as it had always been. I thought he truly wasn’t upset about what I did in the past.

He Says He Can’t Date Me Because I’m Too Beautiful

The date ended and we parted ways for the night. Only for me to get home and receive a voice note from him. This is what he said; “I want you to know that I am just stringing you along until I leave the country. There’s no way I will take a woman who has cheated on me seriously.” To say that I was shocked is an understatement. He has been planning to leave the country for a while now. We planned that I would wait for him while he was gone. So I am wondering how long he has been stringing me along.

I only confessed to him three days ago and we even went out on a date yesterday. This is why I don’t believe that he only started stringing me along three days ago. I want to know. Was it his plan all along to dump me as soon as he leaves the country? Maybe that’s why he tricked me with the whole curse thing so I would confess to cheating on him? If there’s a way to save our relationship, should I fight to fix it? Or I should just forget about him and move on with my life? Please, help me figure out what to do.

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—Freda

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