What we shared was so beautiful that anyone who came into contact with us said, “Aww! I want some of that.” Trust me, you would desire it too if you saw us together. Every time I prayed, I thanked God for the gift of my boyfriend. He was just too good to me. I didn’t know what I did to deserve such unconditional love from him.

Our relationship started nine years ago when I was in level 100 and he was in level 400 at the university. I only got close to him to learn more about God. He was the kind of Christian who had so much to share about the goodness of our maker. That’s how our friendship grew and later developed into a very beautiful love story.

We were young and so in love. So every time we were together, our bodies ached with need for each other. I held myself and so did he but sometimes the temptation to touch and make became very strong. As Christians, we were determined to keep our relationship godly so we often prayed and asked God to quench the unholy fire burning within us.

We would meet at night in a park and pray zealously. However, the body has its own mind. I remember how he would hug me after prayers and I would feel his joystick hard against me. I also felt things tingling down my spine whenever he was near me.

One day, our desires won over our restraint. So we touched and then kissed. We felt guilty after it happened and prayed for forgiveness but the next time we were together, we did it again. That became the nature of our relationship. We didn’t go all the way but we did things that would make God’s eyes pop out of His head, if that was possible.

After school, he was posted to the Northern Region to do his national service. Maintaining our relationship long distance was hard but we made it work. I couldn’t stay a day without hearing from him so we spoke every day. He always tried his best to keep me happy. So while he was away, we started talking dirty to each other on the phone. It was almost like phone sex but not quite.

Because we meant it to be a godly relationship, we tried to control the urge by praying often but we still couldn’t help it. This foreplay talk continued till he returned from the North and started a teaching job. “I will do this work until something better comes along,” he said.

We planned that we would get married after I completed school. For this to happen, he was supposed to get a good job by the time I was done with school. This is why I didn’t feel good when I saw that he had gotten too comfortable with his temporary job. “Do you plan to teach forever? What are you doing to get a better job?” I asked. That was when he came clean that he failed some of his papers so he couldn’t graduate.

“All hope is not lost,” I encouraged him. I then convinced him to resit the papers he failed. By the time he finished the exams and got his certificate, I was in my third year. I asked him again, “What are your plans?” He answered, “I have always wanted to be an accountant but life took me in a different direction. I ended up reading a different course in the university.” We talked about this for a while until we agreed that he would quit the teaching job and take the ACCA exams.

I was his biggest cheerleader. Every step he took brought us closer to our future together. That’s why I stood by him and urged him on whenever he felt like giving up. After that, our next plan was for him to take up an accounting project so he could earn an accounting degree. I always asked him, “Are you working on the project? How is it going?” His answer was a default, “Yes, I am not on it. I should be done soon.”

To my surprise, I found out on the deadline day that he didn’t do it. I was very disappointed. My aim was to encourage him to work hard and secure a better job so he could save money and marry me immediately after I was out of school. But he couldn’t push himself enough so he was stuck at home.

He visited me once on campus after that incident. I was quite indifferent toward him because I was battling with a lot of emotions. The dominant ones were guilt and shame. I didn’t want to engage in any sexual activity with him anymore because of how I felt. He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away and shouted, “Don’t touch me. Leave me alone.” That night he also confessed that he was also battling with guilt and shame because of our sins.

We both admitted that we needed help to overcome our desires. So we resolved to speak to a pastor friend. He advised us to be more prayerful and try as much as possible to stay away from places we would be alone. We tried. We prayed, fasted, and attended Christian conferences and workshops. I wish I could say these things helped. But we ended up right where we started.

Four years into the relationship, I completed school and started my national service. By then he was still at home, yet to decide what to do with his life. next. “I am only twenty-four. There’s still time for him to do things right,” I consoled myself. Then three years came to pass and this man was still undecided about his future.

That was when I started pushing him to stop slacking and take control of his life. He then decided that he wanted to start a business. As always, I supported him through the process. Our marriage plans were still delayed because things were slow for him. I remember asking him one day, “Don’t you think we should just go ahead and get married? After all, I have a job.” He refused.

As time went on we started growing apart. We tried everything to reignite the spark but it wasn’t working. At this point, we started trying to have shuperu in an attempt to feel closer. When we finally did it, it made us happy. But that happiness was as fleeting as a passing train.

I lost myself along the way because I couldn’t pray anymore. I couldn’t even go to church because I felt so much guilt and shame. In an attempt to heal and work on myself, I stopped all forms of physical contact with my boyfriend. I wouldn’t even hug him, let alone kiss him. I only wanted us to get back to the place where we were so in love with God.

We succeeded in going a whole year without shuperu. It helped him regain his spirituality. He started praying and doing ministry work again. Me? I only exchanged one sin for another. The only way I could stay away from sleeping with him was to pleasure myself. It was helpful at first but it ended up becoming another demon I had to battle.

In my guilt and brokenness, my beloved suffered. I found him so annoying. I got angry at him at the least thing. This is because, after nine years together we were still not married. I felt we had lost our chastity for nothing. I was angry with everyone as well, even my male friends who didn’t do anything to me. I chased all of them away.

READ ALSO: He Refused To Spend His Money On Me But I Got The Last Laugh

I saw my friends getting married and starting families and it made me feel like I was late in life. There was also pressure from family to settle down. Work was also stressing me. I felt like I was drowning. I took all these frustrations out on my man. I was so mean to him. One time he visited me and I asked him to leave.

When I realized how badly I was behaving toward him, I asked for his forgiveness. I then confessed my masturbation to him. “I need some time away from you so I can heal,” I concluded. I only wanted to mend things and put things right between us. But he misunderstood my request.

How I Met The Woman Of My Dreams

He thought I had found someone else and wanted to move on. But that wasn’t the case. I just wanted to get better so I submit to him properly. I know I hurt him so much when I asked for a break but it was meant for our good. When you are attacked by ants, you need to step out of their territory before you attempt to completely shake them off. That was what I was doing.

However, he spent a lot of time thinking about how badly I treated him. He feels he deserves better so when I came back, he didn’t want me anymore. No amount of pleas is changing his mind. I don’t know what to do now. Disobedience led us here but I pushed away the love of my life in an attempt to fix things. Now that he is gone, how do I get him back? How do I go on from here? I’m broken.

—Mimi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB