I didn’t know him from anywhere. I was passing in front of his house when he saw me. He approached me and expressed interest in me. I didn’t waste time. There and then, I told him I was not interested. He didn’t accept my response.

He went to see my sister and presented his proposal before her. He made such a grand show of his interest in me that my sister concluded that his intentions were pure. She told me; “The fact that he came to see me with his interest gives me the impression that he is a good person. Give him a chance and let’s see.” I listened to her and gave him a chance.

I didn’t have a stable income at the time. That’s why I didn’t want a relationship. When I started dating Lewis, he was into sewing. He would sew clothes and I would sell them for him and bring him the money.

As far as I was concerned things were good between us. However, he didn’t see  it that way. I don’t know what changed but he decided I wasn’t the woman for him, after all. I didn’t protest when he broke up with me. All I said was, “If you don’t want to be with me anymore, it’s fine but hold on. I haven’t gotten my period for the month yet. I will let you know if I get it before you proceed to leave me.” It didn’t matter to him. He said he wasn’t ready for a child.

When I got confirmation that I was pregnant, he repeated his words; “I am not ready for a child. Get rid of it.” I wasn’t ready to do such a thing. This guy was thirty-seven, financially stable, and from a well-to-do home, yet he claimed he wasn’t ready for fatherhood. I was twenty-four at the time with no income and no financial support from my struggling family. But I chose to keep the pregnancy.

The pregnancy journey was not an easy one. Lewis changed his tune from, “I am not ready to be a father,” to “I don’t think the pregnancy is mine.” The only interaction we had during this period was when he took me to the hospital to take a scan, so he could determine if the date of the pregnancy tallied with the last time we were intimate. It did. We went to court but he still didn’t take responsibility.

I had the baby through C.S. due to some complications. I didn’t have money to pay the hospital bills but this guy didn’t help. I had to sell my laptop to take care of everything. After the baby arrived, he showed up with his family to see the baby. Honestly, I didn’t want them near the child because of how angry I was. However, I was advised to shelve my feelings and allow them to see the child.

After everything, he said he didn’t like where I lived with the child. I was perching with someone so he offered to rent a place for me. He didn’t. When it came to upkeep, he sent me GHC50 or GHC20 once in a while. I wouldn’t call that upkeep money because it didn’t do much.

I moved from place to place with my little girl until I met an African American man on Facebook. He took an interest in me and decided to help me. Through him, I was able to rent a nice place and move in with the baby. Once in a while, he would send me some cash when I was tight. He didn’t give me much because the plan was for him to bring me and the baby to join him. Sadly, he passed away before any of it could happen.

His demise plunged me back to square one. I was back to taking care of my little girl all by myself. It wasn’t easy but I had to do it. That’s motherhood for you. During that period, my baby daddy had blocked me. Even now, I am still blocked on his phone. If I want to talk to him, I would have to call him with another person’s number. The moment he picks up and hears my voice, he blocks that number too.

Our child is now ten years old. I had to use the capital for my business to renew my rent this year. Now, I am teaching in a private school. I don’t earn much. Everything goes into the upkeep of the child, so I am struggling. I sent word to Lewis through his sister to pitch in and help me raise the child we brought into this world together. I asked him to buy some school books but he said he didn’t have money.

Out of frustration, I called him with somebody’s number. I explained my struggles to him and told him, “You’ve been on the fence for so long but now it’s time for you to step up and be a father to our child.” This guy said, “I will conduct a DNA test first before I take care of the child.” I said, “No problem. If a DNA test will make you act responsibly, then do it and help ease my burdens.”

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I waited for him to do the test but he didn’t. When I got tired of waiting, I went to Legal Aid two months ago to report the issue. I told them, “I am ready for the DNA test but I don’t have money. Can it be done through you so I don’t have to for pay it?” They said they could help.

Lewis was invited to the office so we could schedule a date for the test to be done. I was there when he showed up. And he told me he knew the guy in charge of our case. “I have known him for twenty years now.” I didn’t think much of it until I left him there after we agreed that I would bring the child on the next Monday.

Building the Perfect Relationship| Chat & Chuckles Ep15

The next Monday arrived but I didn’t hear from either Lewis or the person assigned to our case. I called the guy at the legal aid office he told me, “Mr. Lewis said he has a place to take the child for the DNA test himself.” I tried to tell them he won’t do it but the guy shouted at me and hung up.

Since then, I haven’t heard from them. My mother wants me to let the issue go but I am struggling. That’s why I am here. I need a lawyer. I went to legal aid but they couldn’t help me. So I will be grateful if I can get a lawyer here to take on my case Pro-bono, so we can do this DNA test and make sure Lewis takes responsibility for his child. Also, I will be grateful if anyone here can help me get a better job.

—Sophie

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