I started dating Tayo in March last year. I had mad love for him. I was willing to do anything to make him happy. I had told myself I wouldn’t have intimacy with him until we were married. Yet when he said he wanted me, I didn’t withhold myself from him. I gave him everything he wanted whenever he was in the mood for me. In hindsight, that was a mistake.

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He started changing after that. All the love and romance we enjoyed were now replaced with Tayo’s constant demand for sex. He couldn’t go for two days without it.

Although I was uncomfortable and mostly couldn’t keep up with him, I never turned him away. I thought doing it all the time was a normal part of being in a relationship. So instead of complaining, I kept tailoring myself to meet his needs.

By June, he started cheating on me. The first time I caught him, it broke me. “How am I not enough for you?” I asked him.

He said he was sorry. “I don’t know what came over me, babe. I promise it won’t happen again.”

I was hurt but I felt losing him would hurt more. At least, that’s what I told myself before I forgave him.

Oh, but he did it again the next month. He even started posting other girls on social media without considering my feelings.

Each time I confronted him, he would apologize and make the same promises. He was so convincing. Or maybe I was the one who kept believing he was capable of change. He would swear heaven and earth that he had changed but go behind me and jump from one woman to another.

I didn’t know what else to do to keep him happy. I sacrificed so much for him. There were times when I left work to go clean his house, wash his clothes, cook for him, and please him in bed. But it didn’t matter. He still treated me like I was nothing.

Despite this, I convinced myself that the other girls were just side chicks and that I was his number one. I believed he would eventually leave them and come back to me fully. But I was wrong.

He spent money on these other women but whenever I asked him for financial assistance, he gave me excuses.

One day I was going through his phone when I found another woman’s number saved as “My Woman”. I tried to break up with him at that point but he didn’t want to let me go.

He cried and made a lot of promises, but he broke those promises too. He was still seeing the same girl, just hiding it better.

Honestly, I’m tired. I feel heartbroken every time he cheats. I want to leave, but it’s so hard to stop loving him.

Recently, he’s been telling me his mum wants to meet me. He says she’s been pressuring him to get married and have a child. He claims I am the one he’s ready to settle down with.

I don’t know if he genuinely wants to marry me or if he’s just doing it because of pressure from his mother. Or maybe he believes I would be a good mother to his child. Whatever his reasons be, I am not sure I can spend the rest of my life married to a man who cheats.

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I know he’s still seeing the other girl, and that makes me question everything. I regret all I went through for him—the sleepless nights, the pain, the sacrifices. So far, he hasn’t proven to be worth any of it.

I know all this but I can’t stop loving him. The other day my brother asked me, “Are you sure this guy didn’t cast any spells on you?”


Even he, doesn’t understand how strongly I’m attached to him.

I want to know from the married women who have gone before me, is there hope that someone like him would change? Or I should forget about this marriage talk and find a way to heal?

—Miss T.

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