I haven’t seen Kay in almost ten years but I still consider him my best friend. It doesn’t matter that we barely talk because we live in different countries. He is the one I have been friends with the longest. Right from when we were little boys running around our parents’ backyard till this age where I am in my early forties. 

They say birds of a feather flock together. This was evident in our friendship. You wouldn’t see one without the other. Just as you wouldn’t hear of brilliant boys in the school without hearing our names. The two of us always ranked top 2 when it came to academic performance in the school. If I was not in the first position then I was second while he was first. If he wasn’t first then he was second to me. 

I know it sounds competitive but there was no bad blood. Just some healthy competition among friends. Most people who knew about this were often surprised to see us get along so well. That’s how inseparable we were. There was nothing like jealousy between us. If anything, we sharpened each other to be better. 

Whenever school closed, we would go to my house first so that I could change out my uniform and eat my lunch. We would then proceed to his house which was farther away from our school. We didn’t feel the impact of the distance because we always had fun chatting all the way. Sometimes, we ate my lunch together and shared his too when we got to his house.

Our friendship flowed beautifully until we wrote our BECE and attended different secondary schools. 

Here is the thing. Something strange happened when I went to Kay’s house while we were still in basic school. It didn’t occur to me that this incident was the genesis of my alcoholism. It took years of self-reflection, actually, for me to trace everything back to his mother. 

One day we went to Kay’s house after school as usual. When we got there, his mother was sitting outside getting braids done by another woman. We greeted them and walked toward their room for Kay to change his clothes. However, his mum called me. I went to her expecting to be given a task to do. But that wasn’t the case.

When I got to her she directed me to pick up a food flask that sat beside her. Innocently, I did it. She then asked me to open it and take a drink from the flask. I didn’t see any reason to not to. After all, she was my friend’s mother. I ate her food and played in her house. As far as I knew, she was a mother to me as well. 

The smell of the drink in the flask had me wrinkling my nose. She saw my face and said, “It’s just palm wine. Drink it and see. It’s very sweet.” I also took a drink. It was indeed sweet. She encouraged me to drink more and I did. I got tipsy for a long while, but the effect wore off before I returned home in the evening. 

I started craving alcohol after that day. I couldn’t get that sweet taste and tipsy feeling out of my system. I was in basic school but I befriended older people so I would hang around them and drink. 

This did not taint my friendship with Kay, but it affected me physically and psychologically. I was no longer the innocent sharp guy I knew myself to be. I was still intelligent but not innocent. 

I passed my BECE with distinction and entered secondary school, but I had lost interest in education. I passed through schools and courses because I had to. It was my addiction that had my devotion. It’s not as if I didn’t try to fight it. 

My parents did all they could to help me, my mum especially. They are both dead now so I am alone in this fight against my demon. 

Till now, I haven’t told anyone that my friend’s mother gave me my first drink. I am not even sure Kay knows.

READ ALSO: My Husband’s Side Chic Warned Me To Stop Using Juju On Him

One day, when I was so broken that I couldn’t handle it any longer, I blamed God for allowing it. For watching an innocent child, who has no history of drunkenness or any form of substance abuse in his family go through this. I was raised a Muslim, for crying out loud. So why didn’t He protect me from this life?

I have never for once blamed Kay’s mother for my messed up life. It may have been an innocent act. But the question remains, who offers a minor alcohol? Why didn’t she share the drink between me and Kay? Also, why would anyone offer a Muslim kid alcohol to drink? 

My Husband Doesn’t Know That I Know His Affair Partner Is Pregnant

It’s hard but I am carrying my cross with dignity (or indignity, as the case is). I don’t want to make excuses for myself for messing up. I am an adult now so I am responsible for myself and my actions. 

The ONLY reason I am sharing this story, is to tell parents here to be extra vigilant when it comes to their children’s friends. The friend may not necessarily be a bad influence on your child, but members of the friends’ families could be. In my case, I made a wonderful friend, but maybe, just maybe, the healthy competition we had was not healthy for his mother. We could have won together but life happens. 

— Sumaila

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB