My friend Kojo introduced Dada Pee to me when I mentioned to him that I was ready to open up myself to love again. I knew he wouldn’t bring a bad person my way so I extended the trust I had in him to his friend. When we started talking, He told me he was still single because he had been disappointed by lots of women in the past. I believed him. I even felt sorry for him.

We don’t live in the same town so we could not meet during those early days of friendship. Our conversations were either via WhatsApp texts or regular phone calls. I hadn’t met him in person yet I liked his vibe. He carried himself about like someone who had an open mind and held a no-judgment space for others. You could say the craziest things to him and he would react with calm and patience. This painted him in a good light for me.

Along the line, we started a romantic relationship. We still hadn’t met yet but he had opened up himself to me in a way that made me feel I knew him so well. I also let this guy know so much about me. The long distance aside, the reason we hadn’t met all along was due to his busy work schedule. I haven’t gotten a job since I completed the university so my schedule was flexible. I let him know that all he had to do was let me know he was ready to make the trip and I would prepare to host him.

When he was ready, he called me and we made plans. I was so happy the day he showed up. “Finally, I get to put a face to the beautiful voice I have been talking to,” he uttered in excitement. He even made jokes that if he hadn’t come to see me, he would have said I was a ghost. It was all fun and laughter until things got heated between us. Desire overrode self-preservation, and we ended up doing everything before he left.

In the throes of passion, we both forgot to use protection. He didn’t pull out either. I was also sure I was safe so I didn’t take the morning-after pill. Needless to say, I got pregnant. But that was even the least of my problems.

The moment Dada Pee left my place, he stopped talking to me. He didn’t even let me know he had arrived. He was just gone with the wind. I knew he was alright because I saw his WhatsApp status. It was from those status updates that I found out I had been fooled. This guy was not who he said he was.

While I thought he was single, I found out he was in a relationship with a woman who also lived in another town. They had a three-month-old baby together. When I got to know this, I stopped contacting him. I realized everything was a game to him. And I was an unsuspecting participant. I was heartbroken so I had to retreat to lick my wounds. However, when I found out about the pregnancy, I reached out to let him know. Still, he ignored me.

So I reached out to our friend who introduced us. “Kojo, tell your man that I am pregnant. I have been trying to talk to him but he ignores my calls.” I was still unemployed but I told myself, “I am twenty-five. I am not a teenager or a schoolgirl whose dreams will be cut short by keeping this pregnancy. I sinned when I did what I did that led me here, so I won’t compound it by terminating the life growing inside me.” It was a difficult choice I made but I was determined to stick to it come what may.

Shortly after I spoke to Kojo, Dada Pee called me sounding angry. Amidst unwarranted insults, he told me he had three kids with three different women already, and that he didn’t want another child so I should get rid of the pregnancy. When I refused, he told me I was on my own.

True to his words, he never bothered to check up on me after that conversation. All he did was call to insult me. Despite all that, I refused to cave and give him what he wanted. It’s just sad that God is not man. I was three months along when we found out that the pregnancy was ectopic. The doctors said they had to take out the foetus surgically.

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The surgery and medication cost a lot of money but thankfully, I had my mother’s support. I lost one fallopian tube as a result of this. Through all this, Dada Pee was nowhere to be found. It was later that he sent me some money worth peanuts that I should use to cover the cost I incurred for the procedure. I told him, “This money doesn’t even come close to a quarter of the cost. At least repay my mother for the money she used.” He got angry and insulted me in response.

Till now, I can’t reconcile the nice and sweet guy I fell in love with over the phone with this man who insults me anyhow. He doesn’t even pause to consider the trauma I am going through. Not only did I lose a baby I was determined to keep, but I lost a fallopian tube too. How wicked can a person be not to show empathy in this kind of situation? This guy would post his baby mama and their child just to add pepper to my wound.

I’m Dating Him And His Mother | STORY BOARD

The whole incident is still fresh in my mind so I am not having it easy at all. Sometimes I am ridden with anxiety when I think about my future. What should I do in taking care of my reproductive health so I don’t compromise my remaining fallopian tube? Will it even be safe for me to attempt pregnancy in the future? How did I allow myself to get into such a mess?

As the thought of the future fills me with fear, the present fills me with anger. I sit and think about what I should do to the man who lied to me and proceeded to add salt to my injury. I lost a body part because of him, but he is out there living his life without a care in the world, probably lying to more girls and breaking their hearts as he did mine. I don’t want him to get away with it. What can I do to make him pay? I want him to feel the kind of pain that will make him close his zip so he doesn’t put anyone else through this mess.

— Jozy

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