Last year, I ended a relationship that no longer served my interest. We had been together for six years but she had done enough to show me that she wasn’t someone I should marry. At every point in our relationship, there was another man in the picture.
I would catch her doing something shady with a man and it would lead to fights. She would apologize and I’d forgive her with her assurance that she’d change. Only for her to do it again. I was madly in love with her but at some point, I got tired of all the drama.
One day when I caught her I told myself I was done. “I can’t do this anymore,” I said as I broke up with her. She accepted the breakup at first. However, she returned later to tell me; “I am pregnant.” The first thought that came to my mind was, “How is it my business if you are pregnant? We broke up.” Before I could ask the most important question she added, “It’s yours.”
Although I had my doubts I didn’t turn her away. After all, they say only a woman knows the paternity of her child. So when she named me as the baby’s father, I stepped up and took care of her.
Thankfully, the baby looked exactly like me when he was born. This erased all the doubts I had. I decided to give us another chance so we could be a family. She seemed to have changed and I was so sure we could make things work.
But when we got back together I learned that I was wrong. Her ways didn’t change. She continued entertaining other men as if I didn’t exist in her life. I did all I could to get her to stop but she prioritised flirting with other men over our relationship.
Things even got worse when I lost my job. The fact that I could no longer provide for the home turned me into something despicable in her eyes. She did things to disrespect me openly. I felt as if I was nothing. I am sure if I could have made myself invisible, I would have.
Despite all this, I kept trying to keep our family together. I hoped my efforts would inspire her to look toward us. Rather, it turned me into a clown. She ridiculed me at every turn and treated me with cold indifference.
Then in our sixth year, she shattered me. It happened when she expressed romantic interest in an old friend of hers. They went on to exchange explicit photos and have inappropriate conversations. Then they met eventually and slept together. She thought I wouldn’t find out but I did.
And it broke me. I knew I couldn’t take any more betrayal from her. I walked away and never looked back.
Now, there’s someone new in my life. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted; beautiful, intelligent, and has an amazing personality. Everything about her is a force that draws me closer to her.
She feels like the calm after a storm. I know for a fact that I am in love with her. I visited her several times and each time, I expressed my feelings for her. One day I told her, “If you give me a chance I will marry you.” Her response did not match my level of commitment. All she said was, “I am okay with you.” Just okay? While I expressed my love passionately, she is just “okay” with me.
She takes hours to respond to my messages. Sometimes she would only reply once or twice in an entire day. I know she has a demanding job—she’s a professional, just like I am. But still, I can’t help but notice that I’m the one who always initiates conversations.
My Mom Doesn’t Care How I Make The Money I Send To Her
When we’re together, it’s different. She’s present, affectionate, and attentive. In those moments, you would see her throwing herself all over me. But it all ends when I leave. It is as though the moment I am out of her sight, I am out of her mind. Her silence leaves me questioning everything. And her nonchalance agitates me.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking it or if the signs are clear as I am seeing. Her behaviour tells me that I’m the only one carrying the weight of this relationship. Am I asking for too much when I say she should communicate with me when we are apart? I need to know if this is something worth fighting for or if I should save myself from another heartbreak.
— June
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What you see is what you get. Ask for clarity. It might be she is just being friendly. Besides don’t put your eggs in one basket. Learn to put yourself first.
This is the reason why I think it’s better to know a person on a friendship level, assess the effort both of you make to maintain the vibe in the friendly relationship before you make your intentions known to the other party.
You can almost always tell when someone is interested in you at the friendship level. You just have to pay attention and respect the decisions of the other party no matter how you feel about her.
Women like her needs attention and would gladly reciprocate it if they are interested in you.
Slow down June and take it slow but don’t expect much from her.
For all you know she has someone in her life who has been on and off and is just as confused as you are.
a 70:30 relationship. You’ve gone in too deep, just pull back. Don’t ask her to do anything, don’t expect anything from her, just control yourself and pull back. She will pick up the slack if she wants you, otherwise deal with your feelings. You seem to have a habit of jumping in too quickly.