My girlfriend was living with me. It used to be a long-distance relationship, but she came here to do a short course, and we agreed to live together until she completed her course.

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She cleaned, washed, and cooked, while I took care of everything. She went to school in the evening, so while I was at work, she would be home. She would return late at night to find me sleeping or waiting for her, depending on the mood I was in.

We were having a great time living together until she started bringing her friends home. I would return from work and see a drastic change in the foodstuffs we had in the kitchen. A bag of rice didn’t last as long as it used to. The same happened with oil, meat, and other stuff. I inquired, and she told me her coursemates had been coming around to study during the day, so sometimes they cooked.

I buy foodstuff in bulk so I can cross it off my budget list. Bringing her friends home to consume what I’d bought meant they were eating into my budget, so I had to make unplanned purchases. I told her, “Either they come with what they’ll eat, or they don’t come here at all. I can’t continue to feed them.”

I thought she had heard me, but the situation didn’t change, so I told her, “Then you’ll have to contribute money so we can buy more for your friends.” She replied, “What work do I do that I would have the money to contribute?”

Later, she told me, “I can’t buy food for myself when you sleep on top of me at night.”

That day, we argued. It got intense, and bad words were exchanged. She told me her mind, and I told her mine, but after thinking critically about what she said, I decided to drive her out of my room. The fact that she saw sex as a transaction and wouldn’t do anything else because she offered that rubbed me the wrong way. So I pushed her out of my room and told her to go live with those friends.

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She’s currently living with one of the ladies, but I don’t feel right about it. She came here because of me. I convinced her to do the course and offered my place for her to stay. Now, she’s out there living with someone else because of this small misunderstanding. I want to go and bring her back. If anything bad happens to her, I would always blame myself because I’m the reason she’s here.

Do you think I’m making a mistake? Would bringing her back bite me in the ass someday?

—Kwabena

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