His name was Evans. I met him on Facebook in December 2022. He came to my inbox and I immediately went to his profile to check him out. I noticed that he had a wife and two children. To avoid trouble, I respectfully told him that I do not deal with married men. He then explained that he had parted ways with his wife a few years ago. I did some digging and found that this was the truth. His ex-wife who lived in Kenya was married to another man.
After a few days of chatting, he declared his romantic interest in me and as we talked about it he said, “I like you but I want you to understand that my priority at the moment is not marriage.” I was disappointed to hear this because I was looking to enter a relationship leading to marriage. I told him, “Since we want different things right now, let’s go our separate ways.” He didn’t agree to this. He said things could change and that there was no need to worry about the future when we lived in the present.
One day, he told me, “If you allow me to love you, I will love you like no man has ever loved you.” At this point, my walls came down and I opened my whole heart to love him. He was living in the USA while I was in Kenya. This man was God-fearing, very kind, charming, understanding, and every other thing that I wanted in a man. Also, I found him extremely handsome. I loved his voice, his smile, and his teeth. I simply loved everything about this man and he loved me too. I didn’t doubt it.
We used to pray together over the phone. We would share God’s word together when it came to him, nothing was off limits. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He would call me when he was going to work, when he was with his friends, when he was in church, and when he went shopping. I never felt left out when it came to his life. At some point, he introduced me to his pastor who I met with a couple of times.
Evans was like sunshine in my life, he was more than I prayed for. I remember one day I was scheduled to go for a breast scan and that night as we spoke on the phone he told me, “Babe, whatever happens, we are in this together. Our friendship is divine and I will not end it for anything.” No one in this life has ever given me that kind of assurance. At times I would just cry and thank God for bringing me such an awesome man.
Another day I was scheduled to go for a job interview and my babe prepared me thoroughly. I went to the interview room feeling very confident. He constantly sent me job adverts after I told him I was looking for better opportunities. I knew very well that he was committed to my career growth, as he put in efforts to make me a better person.
He was far from me but all my attention and affection was his. I was ready to wait for him. I never desired another man. He assured me he would be home in April. “When I come, I will meet your family and pay your dowry,” he promised. If he was lying, I have no idea.
Everything was going according to plan until he called to tell me his schedule had changed. That was not even the problem. What bothered me was when he said, “Going forward, I will only call you when it is convenient for me.” How? We had not fought. I had not seen any signs of our relationship going down. I became so confused.
For some reason, I felt it in my heart that our sweet relationship had come to an end. A part of me also felt like it was a joke and maybe soon and very soon we would go back to what we were.
When I tried to talk to him he said, “Let’s pause the relationship until I return home.” I asked him why but he didn’t give me a reason. “What about my emotions? Am I supposed to pause my feelings for you?” All I wanted was an answer. I asked him what went wrong but in the few days that followed, my calls went unanswered and my messages were blue ticked. Those blue ticks crashed my heart into pieces.
I wished he was near. I would have taken a bus or a train and gone to see him. I even wrote him emails, but I never got an answer. He didn’t tell me why he left. I spent many days crying. I begged him and pleaded with him but Evans was gone. I missed him. I longed for him. I wished that I had met him and hugged him. It was sad that the man who taught me what love is was the same person who made me feel the pain of heartbreak.
READ ALSO: He Broke Up With Me Because I Have Two Kids But He Has Two Kids Too
Many months after the breakup, we talked once in a while but most of the time we wouldn’t agree on anything. Despite everything, he continued sending me job adverts. He even did a cover letter for one of the jobs. He also sent me money a couple of times and said, “Anytime you need some money, let me know.”
As time went on, I struggled with insecurities. I never felt I could love any other man. My heart was numb. I had no feelings left in me. After that phase ended, I believed I could love again. However, I was looking for Evans in every man I met. He became the SI unit. If a man behaved in a certain way I would tell myself, “Evans would not behave like this.” Now I am better but I am still looking for the kind of chemistry I shared with Evans. I don’t want a relationship if it does not make me feel the way Evans made me feel.
He Got Me Pregnant And Also Got His Ex Pregnant
There were days when I still longed to see him. I longed to give him a long hug and tell him goodbye. I longed to sit down with him and know why he ended things with me. At the moment I keep wondering what I will do if I see him. I don’t know if I will greet him or if I will just look at him from afar and walk away.
It’s been over a year since he ended our little online relationship. I don’t know why God allowed him to come into my life. I am not waiting for him to ever come back. But I am glad that for a while, he loved me like no other man has ever loved me. I am glad that he stood with me in my darkest days. He made me happy.
— Sister
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