I have a confession to make. I know I won’t look like a good guy by the time I am done telling my story, but I need help. They say a problem shared is half a problem solved. That’s why I am taking the bold step to put myself out here. Even if you insult me, go easy, and don’t forget to leave a word of advice for me at the end.

I am in a place where I am sharing my heart between two women. Contrary to the popular belief that you can’t love two people at the same time, I love these two women equally. This is why I am finding it difficult to let one go and stick to one.

Both women have completely different temperaments and offer different values to my life. The first woman is the mother of my child. She has all the qualities I want in a wife. She is humble, respectful, hardworking, and submissive. The one thing about her that I don’t trust is how secretive she is. I can’t say for sure that I know her thoroughly or that I know about everything that goes on in her life. She is like that. She always seems to be hiding something.

The second woman is my side piece. She is also hardworking and supportive. The one thing about her that bothers me is her cheating ways. She doesn’t even cheat with one guy. At least that would bring me some comfort. She cheats with multiple guys depending on who happens to tickle her fancy at the time I find out. My consolation is, that every time I catch her she admits everything. She would even tell me everything that happened between her and the other guys. “She is doing all this but at least she doesn’t hide the truth from me.” That’s what I tell myself to whitewash the impact her actions have on my heart.

I have considered staying away from her. I even tried to do it. However, I have observed that whenever I discuss my plans with her or we have intimacy, good things happen to me. If I am starting a new project and I tell her about it, the execution goes without a glitch. Money easily comes to me when the love is thick and sweet between us. This gives me the impression that she is my good luck charm.

It’s the opposite when it comes to my baby mama. So far I haven’t seen any proof that she is entertaining other men. She is a decent woman. I love her but things don’t turn out well for me anytime I go under the sheets with her. I am not saying she brings me bad luck. All I am saying is that compared to my affairs with my girlfriend, my affairs with my baby mama are usually followed by a series of financial losses. This is the reason I can’t seem to stick with her as a life partner. I keep wondering if my life will go in circles if I choose her.

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I don’t know how my fellow men are able to maintain two functioning relationships with two women and still be happy with themselves. That’s my problem right now. Going back and forth my women is draining me. I am growing lean as a result. It’s even taking a toll on my focus when it comes to work.

In my heart, I want to choose one person and build a future with her but I don’t know which of them to settle with. Even if I overlook my superstitions and decide to marry the mother of my child, her family does not support our relationship. They don’t want me to marry their daughter. That was even what pushed me to go for another lady.


Unlike my baby mama’s family, my girlfriend’s family embraces me. Her mother treats me like a son. The only reason I am undecided about marrying her is her promiscuity. When I tell her this she tells me, “I am entertaining other men because I know I am not the only woman in your life. If you commit to only me, I will also commit to only you.” She says she cheats out of fear that I might leave her one day for the mother of my child.

I don’t know if she will truly change when I marry her. I just want to stop being with two women and settle down with one. I am going through a lot. I need some peace. What do I do? Whom do I choose?

— Jonathan

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