My first child arrived in 2020. Things were good for me at that time. We were so happy with the way our lives were going. I am the only son of my parents so my baby meant the world to me. I would hold him in my arms and feel like a father. I showered him with gifts. I bought my wife nice things as well. That’s how I communicate my love. I give gifts. I provide. I suppose it’s part of the way I was raised as a man. Even when they didn’t ask, I gave.

Our family was happy or at least we were happy most of the time until 2022 arrived. I don’t know why but that year brought me some financial struggles. It started when I lost my investments. I was very down but I encouraged myself. “As long as I have good health and I still have my contracts, I will bounce back from this fall,” I said to myself. No sooner had I said this did more troubles arise.

I am a building contractor. That’s how I was making money back then. The next thing I knew, I was losing my contracts. By the time I was looking for answers to what was happening, I lost all the contracts. I was down to nothing. Can you imagine such a thing happening? You cross into a new year with a fat bank account but by the time the year ends, your account is as thin as a toothpick.

Just when everything came crashing down, my wife called me one day and said; “Babe, I think I am pregnant.” I was surprised. She had gone for birth control implants so we could pace our kids according to our time. Also, when the financial troubles started, she started taking emergency contraceptives as a fail-safe, in case the implants malfunctioned. So she was not supposed to get pregnant.

At that time I was doing a few things here and there, to keep the family afloat. My wife was also supporting us the best way she could. We both knew that adding another baby to our situation was going to increase our hardships. I am not going to lie, I considered suggesting that we get rid of it. However, on second thought, I concluded that a baby who had maneuvered through the blockages and boundaries of implants and post-pills and found its way into her mother’s womb must be here for something special. So we kept the pregnancy.

From 2022 till now, I have seen hell and lived through it. I may not have walked through the fiery pit made of sulphur and brimstone but I have felt the heat of those flames in my soul. I am talking about all the times I had to hide from my landlord because I couldn’t afford my rent. And the times my children both fell ill at the same time. I didn’t have a pesewa in my pocket to afford medical bills but I had to take them to the hospital. Let’s not even talk about school fees.

I have lost count of the number of times I had to borrow money from my friends. Thankfully, I have good friends who have been ever supportive. As for my church, the least said of them the better. Some of the elders in the church mocked me. “He who is down fears no fall,” they whispered among themselves. These were people I helped when things were good for me. There were others too that I helped in the past who are now doing well in life. When I turned to them, they turned their backs on me in response. That’s life for you. Everyone has a story to tell.

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In all this, I am thankful I have a good woman by my side. She has supported me through thick and thin. She has shown me that when she vowed to stick with me “for richer and for poorer,” she meant business. I mean, how many women would take a loan for their husbands to start a business, and if the business goes south, they pay off the loans from their own salary without putting pressure on the man to look for the money and pay it back?

All that aside, she intercedes on my behalf. Sometimes she even fasts for me. I always knew she was precious to me but this difficult time has taught me that she indeed is far above rubies and diamonds. I don’t think I can get any better than this.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

Currently, I work as a real estate agent. I have tried to get some building contracts but all the people who have promised to help are avoiding me. I honestly don’t know their reasons or why things took a sudden turn in my life the way they did.

They say when life throws you lemons make lemonades out of them. Well, I have the lemons. Right now, I am looking for a glass to make the lemons in. You could be my helper. If you are looking for a building contractor, you can reach out to me. I just need someone to throw me a lifeline so I can at least be half the provider I used to be.

—Kay

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