Before you judge me, hear me out. I am not a bad woman; I am just trapped in an unhappy marriage. I am married to Eric, when I should have been married to my ex-boyfriend, Ken. This is our story.
I met Ken on Facebook. There were quite a number of men on Facebook trying to get my attention but Ken was different. First, he started making fun of my pictures. I would post a photo and my friends would post comments like; “You look beautiful, darling.”
“Gorgeous”
“Fine girl,” among others.
Ken would see the same photo and make funny remarks about it. He would roast me so badly about my photos that I would start laughing at the photos myself.
From there, he started teasing me about my favorite food and movies. I am a big fan of K drama and he found it funny. Every time I posted something on a new series, he would come and mock me. Weirdly enough, that is what made me start liking him
When he asked me for my phone number I gladly gave it to him. Our first conversation was on WhatsApp. He had a positive vibe, the kind that made me always want to chat with him. At some point, he proposed, “Sally, will you be my WhatsApp girlfriend?” I was confused by this proposal. “What does that mean?” I asked. He teased me for a while before explaining, “It means, you will be my girlfriend but only on WhatsApp. You can have an actual boyfriend in real life if you want.” I thought it was funny so I said yes.
The whole WhatsApp girlfriend thing didn’t last, because I became his official girlfriend. We were both in Colleges that were three hours apart, so we had not seen each other by then. Needless to say that we were in a long-distance relationship.
The first time Ken came to visit me in school we had our first kiss. It was actually my first kiss, and his first kiss as well. We were virgins. The second time he came to visit me, I allowed him to go the extra mile and use his hands on me. I was living in a hostel so we had no other option than to do our business around the school at night. We agreed that I would visit him next, since he had an apartment.
When it was time for me to go to his place, I gave him an excuse. I told him I had group studies that weekend. We rescheduled for the next week, and I came up with an important assignment that was due. We rescheduled again, and when the date arrived, I found another reason to cancel. It isn’t that I didn’t want to see Ken. Oh, I wanted to. I was just not ready to go all the way with him, and I knew it would happen if I went to his place.
Ken picked up on my reluctance to visit him and understood immediately. I thought he would get angry but he didn’t. He just picked a date and visited me, so I wouldn’t feel pressured. After his visit, I gathered courage and went to visit him next. He treated me like a princess and took pride in showing me around his school.
When nighttime came, we started to play. He said he had never been with anyone but he sure knew the right places to touch a woman to drive her nuts. “Where did you learn all this stuff?” I asked him. But he probably didn’t have enough brain cells left to have a conversation. The foreplay was so good that I also returned the favor. I put my mouth on parts of him that I never imagined I would. I climaxed twice before the actual shuperu even started. He lasted for two minutes when he was finally inside me, but I was satisfied.
After that night, Ken and I decided to abstain from shuperu until we complete school and get married. After what I tasted, my body objected to the practice of abstinence but I kept myself in check. I didn’t want to go back on my word and come across as desperate.
Immediately after Ken finished college, his dad who lives in Iceland called him to come and join him for a business deal. He was unsure when he would return. So we broke up before he left.
Years later, I married Eric. Eric was a good man, the kind who took his spirituality seriously. We agreed to wait till marriage before we have shuperu. Everything went on smoothly on our wedding day. Then came our wedding night. It was an experience that left a bad taste in my mouth. Eric didn’t engage in any foreplay at all. He just went in while I was dry and started humping away.
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At first, I thought it was eagerness from having to wait for so long. However, our subsequent intimacy sessions have brought me nothing but pain between my legs. I have had several conversations with him. I let him know how much he hurts me when he does it while I am not ready, but he does not care. He tells me, “Foreplay and romancing are for kids who have time on their hands. Real adults are too busy and too tired to waste their time on such things. We just get down to business and get it over with.” His behavior has been going on for years.
We have two kids now but he does not wish to change. Every shuperu with him is hell on earth, and on days I refuse to let him touch me, he gets so angry at me.
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I have heard that Ken is back in town. The fact that he is married does not stop me from reminiscing our first and last night together. Honestly, if I had known that I would have ended up with Eric, I would have had Ken many times before he left for Iceland. Regardless, I want to experience that night with him all over again. I’ve already contacted him. I don’t mind kneeling down before him to beg him to give me one more memorable night.
I am a woman. I too deserve to enjoy what other women are enjoying when it comes to intimacy. I don’t care how my husband will feel about it, should he find out I cheated on him. Maybe, that will even grant me freedom from this torture chamber I call marriage. I just feel bad for Ken. If I succeed in my endeavors to take him to bed, then his marriage and his innocent wife might suffer for it. Please, advise me before I do something crazy.
—Sally
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My dear you are treading on fire not even ice. If you follow the lust of your body you will destroy your marriage with your own hands and that of an innocent woman. Mind you there is nothing worse than a scornful woman . She will do everything to destroy you . If you don’t want to be cursed stay back. Sometimes we the innocent children pay for the stupid sins of our parents. If you don’t want the gates of hell to open on you and your descendants then don’t. Sex is not everything. You are a woman of pride and dignity don’t lower your self just for a one night stand. If your husband did this to you am sure you will demand a divorce and even tell your self that you will not forgive him. Just don’t do it. Why are you leading your self into temptation.
A temptation God has not brought on you but rather a temptation you have intended to create with your own hands. Be warned those who have committed the same stupid sin that you are planning to do or have even done are living In regrett and are miserable. If you’re husband is not gentle with you find a way to enjoy the sex. Am sure before your husband is in the mood for sex you see the signs . After you have seen the first sign be prepared for him by playing with yourself to get you moisturised for easily penetrative. It also sets you in the mood for sex. Masturbation according to the bible is demonic but you doing it during sex is different because its done to set the mood right. Am sure you guys don’t have sex all the time. If your husband is not doing things right ,you have to do things right your self. This is way better than going to have a taste of some one’s husband and coming back with curses. Don’t forget to pray our father. Why do want to throw your marriage for just the pound of the flesh. If your children hear about it some day am sure they will loose the respect they have for you. They will even be ashamed to call you their mom . I know you read the bible but you just read it without understanding it . Your Bible preaches against it . So stop it. May God help you.
My dearest obeying the fresh is easy and pleasurable in the short run but annoyingly you don’t pay for it alone. That is very sad. Just don’t entertain this ungodly venture at all..
I perfectly concur with Maameafua by finding means of lubricating yourself when you spot his move minimise if not completely eradicating it all together. We are in this world to solve problems but not to avoid problems.
I’f you avoid this your issue by your so called One Night with Ken, it will resurfaced later with a more complicated and unsumontable features that can suck the very life in you..
The biblebsays that food is to stomach and our body is the temple of the Living God.
There is so much to life to enjoy than fantasing just 5 minutes sex with somebody’s husband with abundant luggage of problems to solve.
Kill your drive now or your drive kills you…PEACE UNTO YOU MY DEAREDT !!!
Hmmmm. Charle your issue is dicey o. Honestly speaking I understand your pain and I don’t judge you at all. As for what you should or not do, no one can. Only you can dig deep into your heart to know what you should do, especially about your marriage.
All the best ok
ITS PAINFULL YOUR EXPERIENCE BUT DANGERIOUS YOUR DECISIONTOO. MANYARE IN THIS SOUP BUT HAVE NO SOLUTION TO IT. ITS VERY PAINFUL BUTI AGREEWITH MAAMEAFUA AND EDWARD.
PLS BE CAREFUL
You should consider investing in a good lube try it and thank me later.
I suggest we don’t judge one by tribe color or religion. Living a life dominated by fear started when I had to play both the roles of a mom and a dad to our kids. the situation got more grueling as I made the lapse that led to the dilemma resulting the split between me and my husband. I’m allotting this here so anyone having cognate issues would be allotted when push comes to shove, you can also reach out to [email protected] for I was there and I know how she helped on restoring my marriage and fixing balance in my love life. Doing it scared is now my new mantra and chasing over what I want has been the best thing to happen to me. I’m already elated as I know your encomiums would go a long way 😍❤️