Sixteen years ago, I completed secondary school and started dating. My longest relationship lasted just over a year. I’ve always struggled with getting men to choose me, but the period between 2016 and 2022 was the hardest. Every relationship I entered crumbled in less than two months.

It broke me. I cried. I moved from one pastor to another in search of answers. When I didn’t get any, I consulted spiritualists, fetish priests, and Mallams. They all told me the same thing, “You have a spiritual husband.” They told me I needed help, but none of them could truly help me.

By 2022, I was fed up with my life. I packed everything I owned and moved to Accra. I didn’t know a single soul there, but I wanted to start over. I wanted a new life. For months, I kept to myself. I took things slowly until I met Jacob. I don’t know if that’s what they call love at first sight but from the moment we spoke, I knew we had something special.

He moved in with me, and we began life together. He taught me what it meant to be truly loved. He made me feel alive again.

We were not financially stable but we were determined to stick with each other. When things got hard we suffered together. There were days when I called men who wanted me just so we could eat.

I know I could have chosen those men but I believed in Jacob. I saw his potential. Often, we sat down to talk about our dreams. He always said, “I want to travel abroad. I believe I will make it over there.” The last time he talked about it again, I encouraged him to go for it.

When the opportunity presented itself, he went for it. He quit his job, and I helped him secure a visa. I was pregnant when he left for America but I had no reason to worry. He made me feel safe and loved.

He didn’t have money to leave me but he left his ATM card and cheque book with me. It gave me a sense of security. For the first time in my life I felt what it meant to be chosen by someone.

Even from a distance, I felt his presence. He called at least five times a day to make sure I was okay. I remember thinking, “God must have given me this man to make up for all the years I had suffered.”

He asked me to send him money two weeks after I had the baby. It wasn’t the first time he’d asked, but this time, I paused. I was using the little money I had to pay for my hospital bills, and to settle debts I incurred when I borrowed money from people to help him travel. I also sent my aunt a significant amount of money so she could move from the village and come help me with the baby. I couldn’t afford to spare any more money so I asked him, “What are you using the money for?”

That question marked the beginning of our end.

He started pulling away. A time came when my calls stopped getting through to him. He blocked me on social media too. Days would go by with no word from him, then suddenly he’d reappear, acting like everything was fine, only to disappear again the next day.

READ ALSO: She Didn’t Take Care Of Me When I Was Sick So I’m Leaving Her

I cried. I begged. I called his parents, my friends, and even pastors to talk to him, but nothing changed.
I decided to leave Accra for a while and stay in my auntie’s village. I thought maybe space would help me find myself again.

When I discussed my plans with him, he asked me not to go. Because of that, my aunt discouraged me from making the trip. I was left with no choice then but to confront our problems. When I asked what was going on he said, “I’m sorry I’ve not been treating you well. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m scared of losing you to this long-distance relationship. So I feel it’s best we end things peacefully.” For a minute, I thought I didn’t hear him right.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I asked him why he got me pregnant, and why he let me build my world around him if he was going to leave me like this. He said he never thought it would come to this. “I didn’t want to disappoint you but I fear the distance will cause me to fall out of love with you.” I know what the words really mean: he’s already fallen out of love with me.

Now I am here holding my two-month-old baby, feeling broken. I waited all this while to have a baby because I didn’t want to raise a child alone. But this is exactly where I find myself now. I am utterly alone, trying to figure out what next. I feel myself falling apart but I don’t know how to help myself.

— Leah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB