Something happened to me on my best friend’s birthday last year that has forever altered the way I see women. It all began when all my friends and I contributed money and organized a pool party for the birthday boy. We booked a pool and made sure it was ours alone. And then we bought drinks and meat. The next thing to get the party going and exciting were women.

My best friend’s girlfriend was present at the party. His sisters were there too. Some of our male friends also showed up with their women. It was just me and two other guys who didn’t have our girlfriends present. Mine didn’t show up because she was living with her very strict parents. That’s why I had to ride solo at the party.

Seeing my best friend with his girlfrienda, and my other friends cozying up with their women made me feel left out. I started drinking until I got drunk. When it got to that point, I convinced myself that I needed a woman for the night. However, all the women there were paired up. The ones who weren’t were Kwesi’s sisters. And I related with them as I would my own sisters, so there was no way I would attempt to have anything to do with them. Besides, I didn’t want to get into trouble with my girlfriend, considering that they knew her.

Either out of drunkenness or desperation or both, I turned to one of the guys and told him; “Chale, this party is nice but I am not enjoying it fully. I think we need more girls to make the place more exciting.” The guy assured me that he would make some calls and arrange for some girls. The way he said it, you would I told him I was craving chicken.

About an hour after we had that conversation, two girls showed up. They were both beautiful but one of them suited my taste more so I started wooing her for the night. I thought about what I intended to do, and I felt bad. I felt guilty that I was going to cheat on the woman I love just because of one lonely night. However, I drank more alcohol and convinced myself that I needed a woman that night.

After the party, we booked some rooms in the hotel and I paid for one so I could spend the night with the woman I had taken for myself that night. Later, I even heard that one of the guys was angry with me because I took the girl he was looking forward to spending the night with. Honestly, I was so drunk that I didn’t notice a lot of the things that went on around me. I don’t even remember exactly how the rest of the night went when I entered the room with her.

I was sure we took our bath and then had shuperu. But I don’t remember the full details. When I woke up the next morning, the first thing that hit me was not guilt or regret. Those emotions came later. It wasn’t even a headache or nausea from a night of too much drinking. No, that one too came later. The first thing that hit me that morning was a foul smell. It was that smell that gave me nausea. I had to hold myself together so I wouldn’t throw up all over the place.

I kept wrinkling my nose while I searched for the source of this offensive odour. Lo and behold, it was coming from the lady. That’s right, my one-night stand had a bad smell down there. The way I felt when this realization hit me is indescribable. I had to hurriedly give her money and make an excuse that I was going somewhere urgently, just so she would leave.

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I don’t know how she got my number but she called me later and said, “I really enjoyed our night together. I have fallen in love with you because of it.” I was confused. I told her, “The night was a blur for me. I don’t even know if I had a good time or not. So how did you enjoy it so much that you are telling me you love me.” Even if I wanted to consider her again, the memory of the smell that greeted me when we did it is enough to kill that notion.

Now, this is my problem. My revulsion toward having sex with this lady ever again has seeped into my feelings about women and sex in general. The thought of having shuperu takes me back to that awful smell, and I get nauseous and completely turned off. I haven’t even been able to do it again with my girlfriend because of this.

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I know she doesn’t smell down there, but whenever I think of getting intimate with her, I remember that lady’s foul smell, and it ruins the mood for me. Even when I see a random girl and I start to admire her, my nose would wrinkle in memory of my one-night stand, then I would say, “She looks nice but she probably smells bad down there. You won’t even know until you finish eating her.”

I am trying very hard to get past this but it’s difficult. No matter how positively I think about women or sex, a voice in my head tells me that every woman smells down there. I don’t know what to do to be normal again. This whole thing has messed me up. It’s affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. And it has affected the way I see women. I wish things would go back to the way they were before that horrible night. Please, help me!

—Trigga

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