I met Eyram when I was being recruited for my current job. She was also going through the same recruitment process. That’s why it was easy for us to form an acquaintance. When I was confused about how to do certain things, she was there to give me information. She didn’t treat me as someone who was competing with her for the same job. She was warm and kind. That’s why I liked her. Before either of us got news of employment, she would call me and check up on me. She was a real sweetheart.

Now, let me get this out of the way. I am married with kids so my interest in her is purely platonic. And she knows this about me already. When we finally got the job, we had to go through some training first. We became partners during that training; lunch partners, gossip partners, name it.

One day we were having a meal in our diner. I got thirsty and decided to go get water from the dispensary. As a friend, I asked Eyram, “Would you want some of the water?” She nodded her affirmation. I went to get the water but on my way back to our table, someone stopped me and started a conversation with me. When Eyram saw me, she got angry and shouted at me, “Hurry up and bring me the water. I am choking and you’re there talking to ladies. You don’t care about me.”

I felt very disrespected by those words and the fact that she shouted them at me. When I got to our table, I registered my displeasure at her behaviour. Instead of her to accept it and apologize, she rather got angry and told me to never speak to her again. I said okay and walked away from her.

Now, before all that drama went down, I had showed up at work looking sad one day. She asked what the matter was but I didn’t want to talk. However, she pushed me until I opened up to her. It was about my wife. After I narrated my marital problem to her, she advised me. I applied it and it worked. Can you believe the day we argued at the diner, she used that issue to insult me?

From that day, she started getting closer to our other colleagues. She would openly do things with them in an attempt to spite me. I saw all of it but I turned a blind eye to them. After about a week, I met her alone in our diner. I didn’t want any more of her trouble so I said nothing to her. She, on the other hand, called me. “Come and let’s talk,” she said.

I went over to her and all she did was defend her behaviour. I listened to a point but when I couldn’t anymore I told her, “You were wrong. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you offended someone without intending to.” That day we talked and made up. However, I had boundaries in place so I don’t get too close to her again.

Just a few weeks ago after we started work, we were on the phone talking when she mentioned one of our colleagues. She was giving gist about the person and it had to do with the way the person had dressed. Amidst laughter, Eyram said, “Titus, you should see his dressing. Even you as a Northerner wouldn’t dress like that.” I said wow as she went on with her chatter. After a while, I told her she insulted me.

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Once again, she did not admit her wrong. She rather tried to defend it. It only made things worse so I told her we should talk later but I didn’t call her. She called twice the next morning but I didn’t answer. She sent a text apologizing but kept saying the statement she made was a joke. In the evening on my way home, she called but I asked to call her later.

He Woke Me Up At 2am And Asked Me To Go To My Mother’s House

When I called her, she went on to say she was joking and that it was not that deep. I told her how badly I was hurt. “I am disappointed that you of all people should say this to me in the name of a joke. You know how tribal stereotypes hurt. I expected better from you.” This lady just got angry and told me she apologized already even though she knows it was a joke. She added, “You should consider my mental health when you are getting easily offended by the things I say. You are a human being. Don’t be behaving as if you don’t wrong anyone.” And then she hung up.

I called her back but she didn’t answer. When she called later, I was busy so I also couldn’t pick up. But I returned her call. She hasn’t picked up or called me back to date. This is a lady who comes from a tribe that takes offense when people joke with them regarding juju. That’s why I didn’t expect her to play those tribal jokes on me.

I have decided not to contact her again because whoever errs and doesn’t want to accept it isn’t worth having as a friend. She disrespected me thrice without accepting her fault. Please readers, am I wrong to cut her off? Small friendship and she is bringing me all this drama. Even my wife doesn’t stress me like this.

—Titus

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