I have a question—it’s a little awkward, so please pardon me. I want to ask married women and those in serious relationships, “How do you handle the issue of farting around your partner?”

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Personally, I’ve ended three solid relationships that had promising futures, all because of this farting problem.

I noticed it in my first relationship. My ex was the clingy type. He was always all up in my personal space whenever we were together. It wasn’t a problem until I spent three days at his place.

Ben was all over me. I couldn’t even get space to fart. Even when I went to the washroom, he followed. I stepped out a few times under the guise of getting fresh air, but he was right by my side. Me too, I was too shy to tell him what I wanted to do. So I kept all my farts inside my belly the entire time I was there.

By the time I got home, my stomach was bloated and full of gas. I had to rely on medication to relieve myself. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to spend nights with him again, until the relationship eventually ended.

When I met Joshua, I opened up to him about my problem.

“I couldn’t spend much quality time with my first guy because I couldn’t bring myself to do it in front of him. I’m worried the same thing will happen with you.”

He laughed and told me it wasn’t a big deal. “See?” Then he farted. “It’s normal. Now that I’ve done it in front of you, feel free to do it around me whenever you get the push.”

I agreed, but I still couldn’t do it. He, on the other hand, did it as and when it pleased him. He said he wanted me to feel comfortable doing it around him.

What he didn’t know was that, unlike his, mine were not gentle to the ears or nose. Yes, his were quiet and without smell. Mine are usually smelly and loud… like a bomb going off.

One time, he held me close and I felt the urge to fart. I asked him to excuse me, but he refused. I told him why I needed space and he responded, “Just do it. It’s a normal function of your body.”

Okay, the next thing he heard was, “BHRROOOOMMMM!”

Oh, the smell. He tried to act cool, but it was so terrible that he ran to the bathroom to throw up. I literally wanted the ground to part and swallow me into oblivion. To date, I can’t get over the fact that this guy has that memory of me.

He told me not to worry about it, but no amount of “It’s not a big deal” was enough to lift my sunken spirits. I felt too ashamed to even look him in the face. He said maybe my diet was contributing to the smell, and that we could work on it. Upon all his eagerness, I still broke up with him. I was simply too embarrassed to continue the relationship.

Then came the third one. We went out to eat, and again, I felt the pressure to fart. I held it in, but the pain in my abdomen kept getting worse. My stomach started to feel bloated again.

After the meal, I tried to walk some distance ahead so I could let it out, but he kept following me and holding my hand. He even asked me, “We are on a date, so why are you doing everything to be far away from me?” Then he sniffed himself and asked, “Do I smell bad?”

At that moment, I gathered the courage and told him that I needed to fart, “but mine always comes with a loud sound and a terrible smell.”

Just like Joshua before him, he laughed and said, “All farts smell. Feel free.” Then, to encourage me, he farted first. It was quiet and odorless—just a soft “tusshh.”

Then I let mine out, “BOOUUFFF!” And the smell took over immediately.

There and then, Mr. All Farts Smell let go of my hand. His mood changed instantly.

“I’m sorry,” I said with an embarrassed smile.

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He nodded and smiled, but I could tell things weren’t the same.

When I got home, I just sent him a message saying we couldn’t date anymore. Then I blocked and deleted his number.

I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room

Now, there’s another gentleman knocking on the door of my heart. I want to give him a chance, but this whole fart issue is holding me back again.

Please, what should I do? If I sit for three hours without releasing gas, my abdomen starts hurting and gets bloated. I feel so shy and helpless. I’m currently 32 and really want to settle down, but my problem is ruining everything for me. I need help.

—Anna

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