We dated for five years. In the course of the relationship, I supported her financially whenever she needed me to. Along the line, I went back to school for further education. While I was in school, she lived in Somanya. This didn’t change anything between us. She continued to be the same woman I had always known and the woman I was going to marry. It wasn’t until she moved to Spintex that everything started falling apart.

She had lost her job in Somanya and decided to join her sisters at Spintex to find other opportunities. While she was there, I was taking care of her financial needs. However, she started changing. I suspected it must be because of another man but I didn’t have any way to prove it. So I only complained about her behavior hoping she would go back to being the woman I loved.

Now, the last time we got intimate was in November 2023. The whole of this year 2024, we’ve not met. Our only form of contact was phone conversations and text messages. Even that one, wasn’t as regular as we used to have. I felt there was some distance between us but I was just hanging in there until I would get the chance to have a face-to-face conversation with her.

In April she said she was feeling unwell so she had to go to the hospital. I paid the bills. When she returned she reported, “The doctors said I have fibroid. They said it’s big. They have to do surgery to fix it.” We didn’t like the sound of that. The whole surgery thing sounded so scary. We decided then to play it safe and try herbal remedies.

Before we would decide on a place, my girlfriend travelled to Gomoa in the Central Region. According to her, she has a friend over there who had agreed to show her a good herbalist. This same friend also agreed to accommodate her the entire time it would take her to complete the treatment. Whether her friend is a man or a woman, she didn’t tell me. Even her sisters didn’t know who this person was.

Although I was curious about this mystery friend of hers, I still paid all the bills for her treatment. I also called regularly to check up on her. Through it all, I never heard anything from this friend. They sleep on the same bed but the person’s voice never appeared in the background of our conversations. Not even once.

One time I asked to talk to her friend but my girlfriend refused. I pushed and pushed but she said no. When I decided to visit her over there too, I met resistance. “You don’t need to come here to see me. I am fine,” she said. That was when I concluded she was doing something bad. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be trying so hard to hide her supposed friend.

One day she told me, “The herbalist said there is a baby but the fibroid is hiding it. I was surprised because it had been six months since we got intimate. And she had her flow every month. So I saw the possibility of pregnancy as impossible. She also felt the same way but what was there to do until her treatment was complete?

One Saturday, I went to Gomoa to look for her. Her sisters encouraged me to do it. They thought if I took her by surprise, she would let me see her. I also agreed to do it. With the help of some friends, I got directions to the place.

I arrived around 10 AM filled with excitement that I was going to see my girl after so many months. I couldn’t contain my joy as I dialled her number. Unfortunately, she didn’t pick up. I had to call her several times before she eventually answered the phone.

The minute I heard her voice I sighed in relief and said; “Babe, I’m here in Gomoa. Come and take me to where you live.” She didn’t squeal with joy as I expected she would. She didn’t even sound surprised. The emotion I detected in her voice was annoyance.

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She didn’t hide her feelings from me. She told me plainly, “Go back to Accra. I didn’t ask you to come and visit me.” I was in utter shock. This is a woman I have been with for five years. This is someone I had taken care of during this period. My own woman. What did I do for her to sack me as if I were a chicken?

Before I left I told her, “Doris, if I don’t see you before leaving consider this relationship over.” She didn’t care. I had to carry my heavy heart all the way to Accra. Throughout the journey, I was so sad. It’s a miracle I didn’t break down in tears.

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That day I made the decision to let her go. It wasn’t easy for me but I had to be strong for myself.

Since I left Gomoa, we haven’t spoken. We only watch each other’s status. That’s how I found out she had a baby a month ago. I have done my calculations. The date of our last intimacy and the month she had the baby align with each other. She hasn’t reached out or said anything to me but I am convinced the child is mine.

My problem now is, should I ask her who the father of her child is or I should mind my business? Her sisters have advised me to pay her a surprise visit and ask her to her face if the child is mine. Considering what happened the last time I tried to surprise her, I am not sure it’s a good idea to show up at her doorstep unannounced. What do you guys think I should do?

— Jeremiah

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