A few years ago, I fell in love with a forbidden man. This is someone who had set himself apart for God and was in the seminary training to become a catholic priest. How is a man like that not forbidden? But I am a descendant of Eve, can you blame me for having a taste of him?

Whatever I felt for him, he felt the same way about me too. At least, that’s what he made me believe. He even made me a promise, “Now that I have met you, I wish I hadn’t joined the seminary. But it doesn’t matter, anyway. If you are faithful to me, I will leave so that we can get married.” You should see how committed I was to him. You would think I was married to him.

I had men flocking my way but I wouldn’t even spare them a glance. If anyone proposed to me I would say, “I have a man who is going to marry me.” Some of these men wished me luck while others laughed at me. They didn’t think my man would leave the seminary for me. I, on the other hand, was sure that they were all wrong.

I gave my all to this man and foolishly stayed with him. Even when he didn’t leave the seminary as promised, I didn’t leave him. He went ahead and got ordained as a priest, yet I still believed he would eventually marry me. “Hang in there. I just want to see one or two things then I will leave the priesthood for you.” This is the line he fed me every time I questioned his intentions.

As time went on, our relationship took a dark turn. Whenever I did something he didn’t like, he would communicate his displeasure with his fists and slaps. My body suffered in his hands. After he was done beating me senseless he would scream, “Now look what you made me do. You are turning me into a monster.” Soon enough I came to accept that I was responsible for his temper tantrums.

If he hit me, I would convince myself that I was the one who pushed him to do it. I would try to behave exactly the way he wanted so I wouldn’t get into trouble with him. But no matter what I did, it was never enough to keep him from abusing me.

One day I sat down and thought about my life and our entire relationship. It was an intense journey of self-introspection. When I came out at the other end, it dawned on me that I was in no relationship with this priest boyfriend of mine. He was just using me to satisfy his sexual desires. If he had an iota of respect for me, he wouldn’t string me along to this point, and he definitely wouldn’t raise his hands on me. That was my wake-up call.

To be honest, it didn’t take one day for me to walk away from him completely. I went through a lot of highs and lows. Sometimes he would come at me with threats, and other times, I would feel the urge to go running back. However, I persisted and stood strong until I left that relationship for good.

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A year later I met my Prince Charming. When he tried to get my attention I told him, “I am coming from a bitter place. The last thing on my list of priorities right now is a relationship. It’s not even on that list or any of my lists.” He told me he would wait but I didn’t believe him. In my defence, I was at a place where nothing a man said mattered to me. I considered all of them liars.

Six months later, I realized that Prince was still waiting for me. I felt touched and decided to give him a chance. Before I gave him a response I shared my story with him. I asked if he would want to be with someone with a past as dark and twisted as I do. He gave me a warm and comforting hug as he said, “It is not my place to judge you. You were in a relationship that almost destroyed you. I am just happy you came out of it. And now that you have your freedom, you shouldn’t be afraid to give me a chance to prove my worth to you.”

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Truth is, I also loved him but I was sceptical due to my past. When I finally accepted that he was safe, I gave him a chance.

Today, look at us. Our happiness is blinding. He knew what he wanted and didn’t waste time to marry me. I am very happy that God led me to him.

I am also happy that Prince didn’t run away when I opened up to him about my past. He truly wanted me and he fought for me. This is how I know that his love for me is true and pure.

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—Belle

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