Three years without a job turned my life upside down. My head was on the floor, and my legs were up in the sky. I always had a migraine because I was thinking too much. The lowest point was when my boyfriend of one year left me because I asked him for money to buy sanitary pads. To him, that was the lowest request a woman like me could make. If I were him, I would have left me too—who would date a woman who couldn’t afford sanitary pads?

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My friend linked me to a job opportunity. She gave me a number to call, and I was called for an interview the next day. It was a do-or-die situation for me—the last interview whose disappointment might have killed me. I met a lady who ushered me into another office to meet the boss. There, I met a man. Instead of looking at my face when I walked in, he looked at my chest. I knew I was in trouble.

After the meeting, he gave me his number and asked me to call and follow up a few days later. I called three days later. He told me they were still interviewing people for the job. I said, “You don’t have to. Trust me. I can do this job so well that you’ll be proud you hired me.”

He giggled and said, “We’ll see about that.”

I called a week later. He told me they had shortlisted three people, and unfortunately, my name wasn’t on the list. I started feeling dizzy. I sobbed but tried hard not to let him notice. I told him, “I know there are more qualified people, but I need this job. Without it, a lot of things will go wrong in my life. Just try me for one month. If I don’t deliver, fire me.”

He giggled again and said, “We’ll see about that.”

He called a few days later. It was evening, and he asked me to meet him in town right away. I did. We ended up spending the night together. He told me, “Just once, and the job is yours.” I let myself go. He was happy and told me not to feel bad. He said it wasn’t his character, but he couldn’t resist me. I asked him when I should start working, and he told me he would call on Monday.

Early Monday morning, a lady called. She congratulated me and said I’d been selected for the job. The following week, I started working. The lady took me to his office, and this man spoke to me as if he’d never seen me before. I was okay with it. I prayed it would stay that way.

On Thursday, he texted me, asking about my weekend. He asked me to meet him again, and I did. He promised it would be the last time we spent the night together. I obliged. It was my way of saying thank you. The next morning, he gave me money—more than my salary. He said, “Buy new clothes that suit your role.”

I felt like a harlot, but I was happy he knew what I needed. Later, I learned his wife was out of the country but visited often. I also learned he had three children who lived with him and a nanny. I discovered more about him from others than he ever told me himself. He would call and promise it would be the last time, and I would follow him, knowing very well he was lying. We didn’t have a name for what we had, but there was something going on.

His wife came to visit the office. She gave me a beaming smile that sent shivers down my spine. She was happy to see me, but the darkness in me was too weak to resist her light. I acted jittery the entire time she was around. I told myself, “The last time was indeed the last time.”

I started resisting him. When I didn’t answer his calls, he sent texts with mild threats. When he saw me in the office, he acted as if the two of us were on a battlefield. For four months, it was like that. He made it clear and loud for everyone to see that he didn’t like me. After going Rambo in the office, he’d send a text asking for one more night together.

I’m sick and tired of his antics, but I need the money, so I’ve started looking for a new job. I’m talking to people, sending out CVs, and praying something comes out of it so I can walk out of this office. A week ago, he nearly got me again. He sent me money on my birthday and bought me a bracelet. He texted, “Just once, I swear this will be the last time if you give me the chance.”

Does Your Boyfriend Know Shoe Size?


I dressed up for it. I called him to say I was on my way. But I stopped midway. I called again to tell him something had come up. He got angry and insulted me. I was hurt, but I know it’s the kind of energy I need to find a better place.

—Audrey

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