I took an interest in Grace when she introduced me to a business opportunity that brought me good benefits. At that time we had not met in person. While I live abroad with my husband and kids, Grace lived in Ghana. It was Facebook that brought us together. Honestly, she had such an amazing personality that I felt close to her even though we were miles apart.
I introduced her business opportunity to my husband as well, and it was good for him. He and Grace started talking from there. So we were all close to her. As time went on, she got the opportunity to travel to my part of the world. And my family decided to accommodate her. We planned to help her to save money so she could go back home with enough capital to establish a business. The other option was to help her get a permanent stay in our country of residence. Either way, it was my intention to give her a better life.
Now, the thing about me is that I am an introvert. I mostly like to keep to myself but once in a while, I come out of my shell and connect with people. I explained my personality to Grace and she understood. My husband on the hand, is everything I am not. He likes to engage people and talk to them all the time. So while I rarely interacted with our guest, my husband always did.
Aside from my personality, I had a crazy work schedule. I mostly worked night shifts and slept during the day. So I slept while Grace was awake during the day. My husband who had the same schedule as hers kept her company. And I was never worried that they were close. I was confident that my husband is not a cheater. Besides, Grace is a married woman, so why would anything happen between them?
The two of them were good friends until I noticed that my husband no longer wanted to be in the same space with Grace. He didn’t even want to hear me talk about them. I became concerned and watched their interactions. I saw then that there were no interactions between them. My husband had completely withdrawn from her. It didn’t seem right so I asked him, “What’s going on between you and Grace? Did you get into a fight?” He looked annoyed, “No, I noticed that she doesn’t respect. So I have decided to keep my distance from her.”
Well, he had a point when he said she doesn’t respect him. I, myself had been at the receiving end of her haughtiness a few times. So I did not push him to make peace with her. We tiptoed around her until one day my husband told me, “Honey, Grace has to leave. I can’t take her presence in this house anymore.” By then she had lived with us for a year. She never paid for rent, utility bills, and food. However, I felt we had not helped her enough. So I did not agree to evict her from our house.
I told my husband I would talk to her so she would change but he refused. “I know you want to help her establish herself, but she can get her own place and find her feet over there.” He had never been so insistent on anything like his decision to pack her out. So I eventually agreed with him. We both sat Grace down and had a conversation with her. You should see this woman’s anger. She felt like we had wronged her by asking her to leave. Her entitlement to our home was annoying but I kept my cool. When she realized we wouldn’t bow to her anger, she cried and begged us to let her stay; “Please if I have done anything to wrong you, forgive me. I promise to be a better person.” She pleaded with us every day for a few weeks, but my husband refused to budge.
When she finally accepted that she had to leave, I got a place for her and she moved in. A few months after she left, my husband showed me a message she sent to him. She was accusing him of rape. I was confused, “This is a serious accusation. Why would she say that about you?” That was when my husband confessed to me that he slept with her once. “Honey, you need to understand that she seduced me. I regretted it after it happened and I withdrew from her instantly. But she came to me with a proposal that I get her pregnant. She believes if I father her child, she will get her permanent stay.” I was shocked that all these things happened right under my nose and I had no idea about any of them.
My husband explained that her proposal disgusted him so much that he had to insist she leaves our house. Everything made sense then, but I still felt betrayed by the two of them. “I know I shouldn’t have slept with her, and I shouldn’t have kept it from you for this long, but I implore you to forgive me,” he pleaded. I have not forgiven him yet. I told him to give me time. Nonetheless, Grace’s husband found out that my husband slept with his wife. And he is angry. He is threatening to hurt him even though he doesn’t live near us.
There are times I think about what they did and I want to end the marriage and move on with my life. It is not as if I cannot fully forgive him. The problem lies in the trust he broke. I am not sure I can ever trust him again. If he can do it right under my nose then what does he do outside?
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As if she hasn’t hurt me enough, Grace is going about sullying my name. She is spreading lies about me among the friends I introduced her to. Some of them come and tell me about the things she told them. Some people believe her lies and start treating me like a bad person. Those things don’t get to me so I am fine. What baffles me most is why she is bent on destroying my image and not my husband’s. She claims he raped her yet I am the one who gets tagged with a bad name? How is that fair?
She said she didn’t want to report my husband to the police because she didn’t want to destroy my family. “I remember everything you’ve done for me, and I appreciate them,” she said. If she truly remembered how good I was to her, she wouldn’t have slept with my husband, will she? Because of her, I don’t trust anyone who tries to get close to me anymore. I am now convinced that humans are cruel creatures. I am still broken but I hope someday I heal and find peace.
— Giselle
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There are too many things happening at the same time and you need a breather. First off, forgive your husband, not for him but for your own peace of mind. Then the two of you can bind together to fight off this thing, unfortunately called grace. While not excusing your husband for his indiscretion, you need him in your corner now more than ever.
Learn to forgive your husband, so that God can also forgive you. He is human. Don’t throw your marriage away cause if you do you will regret it. United we stand, divided we fall . U have to unite with your husband to fight grace off. There are still good people in the world. The truth will come out eventually. Karma will catch up to her. Don’t forget to pray. Prayer is the only thing that can restore things into their original place. May God help you.
Leaving the marriage is not the ideal thing to do, pls forgive your husband so thar u both can fight Grace off. I know it’s hard for you, trust me I understand but the anger will only hurt u so pls forgive for your own peace.
Gisele, just like everyone has said here, you need to forgive your hubby no matter what.
First, have a deep conversation with him about the the whole issue and then let him know that you’ve forgiven him. After, you two should find a common ground to fight Grace off for your peace of mind.
You need to understand that, if your hubby were interested in playing further games with Grace, he wouldn’t have shown you that message and open up to you.
In as much as you can’t trust him again, you need to forgive him for your own mental health.
Best of luck.
Your husband is a good man. Pls forgive him. He erred for sure but you also erred. Bringing a woman into your home when you knew your schedule and nature would mean your husband would be spending a lot of time with this female who is not a relative was far from wise on your part. You put the mouse and the groundnuts in a small space for a long time then asked the mouse why it ate the groundnuts.