I Found Out The Orphans He Was Looking After Are Actually His Children

I met him on a Facebook group. He made some posts about how people don’t get jobs because of their CVs. He works as an Human Resource Manager so he gave some tips on how we could polish our CVs and get the jobs of our dreams. At that time I was applying for jobs so I took his number and called him. I asked that we meet so he could take a look at my resume and give me more tips on how to make it professional.

We fixed a date and met at the Accra Mall. It was on a Saturday so I had a lot of time on my hands. After we finished working on my documents, we got talking about general stuff. He wanted to buy something at the Accra Mall but he didn’t get it. His next step was to go to the Achimota Mall. Seeing as I didn’t have any other plans for the day, I tagged along.

Titus was a very charismatic man. He also comes from the North, just like me. This combination gave him a very trusting appeal. I never knew it was possible for me to trust someone so easily until that day. After our rounds at the mall, he asked that I go see where he lived in Lapaz. He had just been posted to work in Accra so he didn’t have a place yet. He was staying in a hotel while he looked for accommodation.

I was concerned at first, but he was a complete gentleman when we got to his hotel room. That day we talked deeply and I felt so connected to him. It got late and he offered to get me a room to sleep in but I turned down his offer and went home. This is how we started talking. He would call and check up on me, and I would also call and check up on him.

Along the line, he expressed interest in me. I also liked him so I gave him a chance. We agreed that we wouldn’t have shuperu until marriage. But it got to a point when he started demanding it. He questioned my love for him when I refused to give it to him. Out of frustration, he asked me, “Why are you refusing to let me do it? You haven’t done it before?” I answered, “That’s not it. I have just made a decision not to do it with anyone again until marriage.” This guy got angry, “I don’t understand you. If you are not a virgin then why won’t you satisfy my needs as your man? Is this right?”

We had a lot of arguments about this. He even spoke to his brother who lived in Navrongo about our problems. And his brother came in to plead his case. He said Titus was crazy about me so I should give my all to the relationship. The fact that his brother was involved made me feel he was serious. So I finally gave him what he wanted. He was happy, it seemed. Me on the other hand, not so much. I felt like I had broken my rules in a desperate attempt to keep a man. Loneliness can do that to a person, you know?

In the course of our relationship, he told me about some orphans he was taking care of. There were three of them and they lived up North. “These children don’t have anyone so I take care of them as I would my own children.” He showed me their photos and receipts of expenses he made on them. I was touched. “This guy is very good,” I believed, “I will do my best to hold on to him.”

Somewhere in December that year, he made preparations to go to the North to spend Christmas with his orphans. At that time we were looking for accommodation for him. But nothing came up. So he suggested, “Why don’t I move my things from the hotel to your place when I am leaving? As soon as I return, I will get a place and move them.” I lived alone so it wasn’t a problem for me.

After his return, he still struggled to get a place so he moved in with me. It is true what they say, that you don’t really know someone until you’ve lived with them. This man would go to work, come home, and ask that we go out. I would go out with him and his friends. They would drink heavily and chew meat. This happened every single day. The work was doing was stressful and time-consuming so I couldn’t keep up with his lifestyle.

I stopped going out with him. So he wouldn’t come home straight after work. He would go out with his friends and come home late to knock on my door. It was frustrating so I gave him a key, and asked him to stop waking me up, but he still did.

He lived with me as if we were mere roommates. He would leave the house in the morning for work, and return late at night when I am deeply asleep. When I cook he wouldn’t eat. And when we had shuperu, it was bad. There was no love or affection attached to it. He did it as though I was a prostitute he was using. Meanwhile, he never made financial contributions to the bills or anything else.

His behaviour had me assessing our relationship. Everything he did pointed to the fact that he didn’t love me. It was obvious I was just a convenient option for him. What confirmed my fears was when he suggested that we have a threesome. I asked him, “How can you tell a woman you have promised to marry to have a threesome with you?” He answered that I should loosen up and be adventurous.

After that conversation, I realized he may already have a woman he was committed to. So I went through his things. I came upon a document that had the names of his three orphans on it. They were listed as his children. There was a woman’s name on it too. She was listed as his wife. Luckily, her number was there. I took it and saved it on my phone.

After that, I asked Titus questions I had already asked him in the past. “Are you sure you don’t have any other woman in your life?” He was annoyed, “How many times do you want me to tell you that you are all I have?” I asked him again, “What about children?” At this point, he lost his patience, “You know I’m taking care of some orphans. You can count them as my children if you want. What’s your problem anyway? Will I be living with you if I have a family elsewhere?”

A part of me wanted to believe him but another part was convinced he wasn’t being truthful. I watched the woman’s number on my phone every day while I contemplated what to do. It wasn’t easy but one day I faced my fears and called the woman. I asked her if she knew Titus and she said, “Yes, he is my husband. Who is asking?” I felt my heart break in my chest. I don’t even know how but I started crying.

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I pleaded with the woman, “I am so sorry. I didn’t know he was married. He said he didn’t have any woman in his life apart from me. If I knew he was married I wouldn’t have gotten involved with him. Forgive me.” The woman didn’t react the way I thought she would. She just said, “Don’t worry your head over it. I know the man I married. I am just surprised he is living with a woman. All this while, he said he was living in a hotel. That’s the only thing new. Everything else is his habit. You are not the first person he has lied to.” She then told me there were no orphans. Those children are their children.

That was the part that shocked me. How can a man deny his own children just so he can sleep with someone? The woman and I agreed that she wouldn’t confront him until he moves out of my apartment and my safety is assured. However, she went ahead and confronted him while he still lived with me. This man came home angry at me. He accused me of ruining his life and called me all sorts of names. I was afraid he would get physical with me but thankfully, he didn’t.

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

He resented me the rest of the time he lived with me until he moved out. Months after he left, he called to tell me he missed me. He said he had gotten a new girlfriend so I should come for us to do the threesome. I couldn’t believe his audacity. When I turned him down he said I was the one who destroyed his marriage. I had to block him.

I don’t know if his wife finally had enough and left him, or if she just iced him out. Honestly, it wasn’t my concern. I was just happy he was out of my life. His behaviour made me afraid of men for a long time but now I am better. I have found love again, and this time he is the real deal. I pray our plans come into being, so I come back with an update.

—Lamisi