The knock on my door came around 11pm. I lived in a village so I was sleeping. I asked who it was and nobody answered. I lay still hoping other another knock will follow. The person didn’t knock again until I saw my boyfriend’s call on my phone. He said, “Open the door. It’s me.” I couldn’t believe it. “Alfred, what are you doing here at this time of the night?” He answered, “Can’t I visit my girlfriend any time I want?”

I opened the door and hugged him because I missed him. Touched his face because I wanted to be sure if it was really him. He threw himself in the chair and asked, “Is there anything I can eat?” I answered, “If you have something in mind, just name it and I will get it done.”

It’s a village. The kitchen was outside but I got up and cooked for him. By the time he finished bathing, his food was ready. While he was eating, I asked him, “Now tell me what brought you here this suddenly. I know you miss me but I also know you’ll have to go to work tomorrow and your work is very important to you so why are you here this time?”

I was in school when I started dating Alfred. If I didn’t meet him, I would have dropped out of school. He met me and took over my life, paying fees, buying books, paying for hostel accommodation and giving me pocket money. I revered him as a boyfriend and was ready to do everything for him. He was serving as a financial controller in one of these local financial organizations, and his work was very demanding but he always made time for me.

When I got posted to the village for my national service, I didn’t want to go. He was the one who encouraged me to go. He bought the things I needed in my room and drove me to the village himself with my things in the back of his pickup. To me, Alfred was an angel sent from above to help me carry the heavy load this life placed on me.

He answered, “I decided to pay you a surprise visit and here I am, tadaaa.”

When he came that night, he didn’t come with a car. I asked about it and he said he didn’t want to drive. He came on a Wednesday, I didn’t ask when he would be leaving but after a week of being together, I said, “This place is not good for you. I don’t like the way you have to walk in the middle of the house to the makeshift bathroom to bathe. And I don’t like the fact that you have to queue at the public toilet. Are you ok? When do you intend to leave?”

He told me he was on a long leave and wasn’t in a rush to leave. I loved his presence. He kept me company and gave me a reason to return home early after work. I loved it but I was concerned about him.

One afternoon, I was going through the Daily Graphic in our office when something flashed my eyes. I was closing the page but I went back to look at it very well. I saw photos of people on a wanted list and my Alfred was the third person on the list. He was wanted by the police for embezzling company funds. There was even prize money on him for whoever would be able to blow the whistle on him.

I quickly removed the page and folded it into my bag. I was shaking. “Alfred? No this can’t be my Alfred. He’s a good guy. No, he can’t do that.”

I left the office and ran back home. Everything started to make sense to me. The time he arrived that night without a car and the fact that he had spent more than a week with me and also the change of phone. He was using a yam phone that had a different number which was almost always off. I was shivering when I asked him to tell me the truth. I was hoping he would say it was not true but when I showed him the paper, his face changed and then tears started dropping from his eyes.

I left him in the room and went back to work. He was the reason I rushed home after work but that day, I didn’t want to go home. Even when the office got closed, I hung around as if I was a girl without a home. I got home later in the night and saw him sitting closer to the window. He asked where I’d been. He told me he was terrified. I asked him, “So what is your next move? They know you’re hiding somewhere in the Eastern region. How did they know that?”

He was fumbling. You could see he was shivering as he was talking to me. I told him, “If they find you here, what would they do to me? They’ll call me an accomplice and also arrest me?” Again, he was fumbling, like a child looking for a word to say. He asked me, “Are you going to report me to the police?” I answered, “I will never do that but you have to come up with a plan that ensures your security and mine. This is a village but it’s not a village like that.”

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Ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is a burden. I slept soundly when I didn’t know his mission. Once I got to know, it became very hard for me to sleep. At night, I put my ears on the ground trying to catch every sound. We slept with our windows open, just in case. I slept and dreamed of soldiers with guns marching towards my door. I would wake up from a bad dream and see him awake and looking towards the window.

“What happened to the money? Can’t you return what you have and promise to pay the rest later? You can sell your properties. Family can help you pay. I will get a job and also help you. You can’t be on the run forever.”

“I have nothing. Properties, yes but I don’t think it will suffice. They’ll arrest me and make my life miserable. I’m finished.”

And then he burst out crying. He leaned on my chest and I couldn’t help but cry too.

That same night, I had a call from a schoolmate who knew about me and Alfred. She said, “I saw your boyfriend in the papers today. What has he done? Where has he run to?” My phone was on a loudspeaker. Alfred heard it and signalled me to cut it. The following day, another friend called. She saw his photo on TV.

I told him, “You have to leave. I’m not sacking you but you have to leave. I’m your best bet now. We can’t sink together.”

He didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t even leave a note. We slept together that night but I woke up alone at dawn. He didn’t use the door. I would have heard him leaving. He went through the window. I tried calling that line and it was off. Later, I saw the phone somewhere on the floor. I cried. That was all I could do. My heart was breaking. I knew how it was going to end. They would find him, arrest him and jail him for years. I told myself, “Whatever happens to him, I will stand behind him. I will wait for him. I will be loyal.”

It had been three years and nothing has been heard about him. He hasn’t been found and he hasn’t been arrested. Maybe they’ve stopped looking for him but no one knows where he is. I’ve spoken to his parents. I’ve spoken to his siblings. I told them how he came to hide with me and the advice I gave him. They don’t know where he is and they’ve also given up on him.

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For three years, anytime I see a strange number on my phone, I want to believe it’s him. I’ll pick up the call and not say hello. I will breathe hoping the voice I hear would be his. For three years I’ve been disappointed but I keep hope alive that one day a call would come through and it would be him. He’s a man on the run. I’m a woman waiting for a call—a closure. Something that says, “I’m here. I’m ok. You can move on without me. I will be fine.”

 —Akonobea

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