I shared my story here two years ago. I was in a bad place. A girl I loved and gave my all to was leaving me because of my hair. She couldn’t tell me she was leaving but everything pointed to the fact that she didn’t need me because I was growing bald.

When the story was shared, a lady expressed interest in being friends with me. She sent a message to Silent Beads and they sent me a screenshot of her message. At first, I was sceptical. What I had with my girlfriend wasn’t over yet but later I contacted this lady and we became friends.

She told me all her crushes had been bald men so she didn’t know why another woman would treat me with disdain because of my baldness. It took a lot of time but finally, when we met, I found her attractive and confident. We went on several dates until one night she asked the way forward. We both agreed to start something, nurture it and see where it would end up.

At first, she wanted to change me. She told me how to cut my hair and what to wear and what not to wear. I realized grooming was important to her so I followed her dictates. She wanted me to smell a certain way and eat a certain way. She was all over the place trying to make me who she wanted me to be.

She became demanding; she demanded my money and demanded my time. If I didn’t give her money she complained bitterly. If I didn’t have the time to do what she wanted me to do, she complained. I was like, “Hey, what’s happening? Can we slow down? We are running too fast.”

When she changed gears, she made me feel she was doing me a favour by dating me. “Do you think it’s easy to love a bald man? You have to pamper me because I’m doing a great job here. When she left, I came.”

I drew my exit plan and started executing it. We had dated for six months when she took me home. She did the introduction. She told her parents I was coming home to marry her very soon. Her parents were happy. It was like they’d been expecting her to bring a man home for ages. Her father started asking questions. “What do you do?” “What tribe?” “How soon are you coming to marry her?”

I told her parents, “Please she’s lying. We are just friends. We met not long ago. Maybe someday but now, we haven’t discussed marriage.”

My Heart Was Broken All Over Again | Abena On The Hot Seat

They all went silent except for this girl. She called me her greatest mistake. When I left, I left with everything; my heart, my love, my bald head. Weeks later, she was back talking about rebuilding. I didn’t mind her. I was jumping from the frying pan only to land in the fire itself.

–Parker 

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