My relationship with Hammond was barely two weeks old when I collapsed at the school’s assembly ground. Everyone was there. The headmaster was giving an announcement when I fell down. I remember feeling dizzy. I remember my feet getting wobbly. That was all, I don’t remember anything again. I was told afterwards that when I fell down, nobody was willing to pick me up. They thought I had a communicable disease so those around me fled and left me lying there until the headmaster screamed; “We need four strong boys here.”

According to my friend Lady, Hammond was very close to the scene but when they called out for four strong boys, he didn’t step forward. I was his girlfriend, that alone should have given him the strength but he stepped back as he watched other guys carry me to the sick bay.

I spent three days at the sick bay, he came there only once. He came there a day before I was discharged. I was very angry. That was the day I should have called off the relationship but I was young and scared. I thought without his love, nobody else would love me.

When he came to the sick bay, he didn’t come closer. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel he loved me regardless but he stood at the foot of my bed and asked, “What’s wrong with you? Why did you come to assembly when you knew you were not well?”

“The doctor said it’s a high fever. I’m doing well as you can see but what took you so long to come here to see me?” He didn’t answer. Something about his demeanour told a story of a guy who was embarrassed about my situation and what happened at the assembly ground. He said, “See how I’ve become a laughingstock among my friends. They say you have epilepsy. They tell me I’ve kissed the lips of an epileptic patient so I’ll be epileptic too.”

Clearly, he loved himself more than having any feelings for my situation. I should have been angry but I was just a girl. I didn’t have the sense to detect red flags.

When I was discharged, he didn’t want other people to see us together. To be honest with you, I suffered a lot of stigma even from friends. They thought I was epileptic. It was like everyone was careful with me as if talking to me will make them epileptic too.

The one person I needed comfort from also treated me the same way other people were treating me. I cried sometimes but I forgave them. I had to force myself on Hammond. I had to force him to allow me to touch him. I had to force myself to hold hands with him even in the dark.

It took me a lot of effort to win my friends back to my side and it took me almost the whole term to be able to bring Hammond fully back into a relationship that we were hiding from seniors and teachers. When we returned from vacation, things were better. It looked like everyone had forgotten about the incident and I was back to being me again. Hammond was back fully in love. He even got me a gift when coming to school.

During our school’s 60th anniversary, they invited a certain pastor to have a revival on campus. I’ve forgotten his name. I see him on TV often these days. It was a three-day revival and it was compulsory for all students to attend. I was in the front seat. I was a lover of things of God. On Friday night, I danced and praised God and soaked myself in the spirit. Saturday night was the revival.

This pastor went from seat to seat with anointing oil. He’ll touch your forehead with the oil and speak tongues on you. He touched me and I fell down and started speaking about strange things. I didn’t see myself doing the things they said I did. According to people, I acted like a girl possessed. I spoke strange language and for several minutes, it was between me and this pastor.

I was on the floor acting aggressively while this pastor sought to restore calm in my spirit. After the prayers, he helped me to stand on my feet and told the congregation, “God loves this girl. She will have a bright light on her forehead that even the devil cannot stand.”

Everybody clapped for me while I was going to take my seat. Lady asked me, “Are you alright?” I said yes. She told me, “Today too you’ve fallen down. I hope they don’t say you’re a witch ooo.”

“Your girl is on the floor again, this time it’s not epilepsy. I think she’s a witch,” They teased Hammond.

Early Monday morning, he brought me a letter. Before I opened the letter, I knew what was in it. It was a breakup letter. He accused me of embarrassing him and making him a laughingstock among his friends. “You’ve decided to fall down every term just to embarrass me. What was that for? Why only you? I wonder the kind of spirit you have in there. I can’t stand it. It’s over.”

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I don’t remember exactly what he said but it sounded like what’s quoted above. I read the letter and remembered the light the pastor talked about that I possess. I should have been embarrassed but no, the news of the light brought me the confidence I never had before. I replied to him, “Having a boyfriend at this age is a sin before God. If I continue dating you, my light will go off because God doesn’t like promiscuity. I’m happy that you’re leaving. Go before you dim my light.”

We broke up and it didn’t hurt. I saw him around and it didn’t feel like he was the guy I was in a relationship with. All the love I had for him vanished and I remember asking myself, “What did I even see in this guy that I was all over him?”

When we got to the third year that I was the chaplain of the school and also the SU president, this guy came back asking me to date him again.

I was like, “Hammond, what sort of embarrassment is that? What gave you the effrontery to come here to tell me that nonsense? If it’s the devil that sent you, tell him you didn’t see me. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!”

I went into my room and I prayed about it because you know what, I felt something for him when he said he loved me. It was like the love I had for him didn’t die. I forced myself to bury it and when he came back, the love I had for him shook in its grave.

I fasted because of him. I wanted God to take away that crazy love from my heart and I thought he did.

I chopped my position successfully in school but when I met him at the University three years later, I couldn’t say no. He was a year ahead of me and he looked more mature than I once saw him. We made jokes about our past and called it childish. He asked about my light and I told him, “I still have it. It’s burning bright but you’re carnal so you won’t see it.”

We dated for a year or so before we broke up.

I met him again after my national service and he told me, “It looks like we were meant to find each other every step of the way. Maybe we should get married and stop going astray every now and then.”

Why I Decided To Become A Prostitute| Beads Media

By that time I was over him completely. I’d already met another guy and he had swept me off my feet. It was that guy I eventually got married to. His name is Lucian. Guess the meaning of Lucian; Light.

#MyFirstRelationship

—Tash

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