I was twenty-five when I lost my left eye. I’d gone to the village to see my grandparents with both eyes. I hadn’t seen them in years and was eager to meet them before Christmas. On my first morning in the village, a neighbour went to the farm and brought a huge piece of wood and started chopping it to pieces. I was sitting next to my grandma, talking and watching what the neighbour was doing. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp object had entered my eye. I held it and started rubbing, all the while crying because the pain was too much.

It was a piece of wood, a splinter that flew from the chopping wood straight into my eyes. We should have gone to the hospital immediately but we didn’t until the next day when they decided I should go home and see the doctor. The harm had already been done. My eyes got infected and later went blind.

My boyfriend at that time came to see me at the hospital before the first surgery. It was the last time I saw him. I called him when I was recovering. He lied he had travelled and he would be away for a month. He ended up being away from me forever.

I was a shadow of myself after the surgery. I grew lean, always in pain, couldn’t eat a lot and lost my confidence. I looked in the mirror to see how I’d become and felt like a piece of me was gone. My parents and siblings were in my corner, cheering me on, telling me good things but my skin became impenetrable to good things. At a point, I just wanted to die. “Life was hard when I had two eyes. How is it going to be when one is gone?”

The answer scared me and it was the reason I didn’t want to live again. During one of my visits to the hospital, they gave me a spectacle. I looked in the mirror and told myself, “Better! You can’t scare me if you don’t look into my eyes.”

My confidence grew a little bit and was ready to give life another shot.

Love issues became my concern. A lot of men came my way who didn’t know I’d lost one eye. I liked a few of them but I wasn’t confident enough to let them into my life. If they knew me years ago and knew my situation, I would have said yes right away. I didn’t want to tell a story of how I lost my eye and how they should manage me like that and all. I let them go. I pushed them away with bad character.

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This one came from social media, Anthony. I engaged his service for a friend of mine. While chatting with him, he thought I was the one he was going to meet. The day when he met my friend, he was disappointed that it wasn’t me. He called to say thank you and added, “I was hoping to meet you.” I told him, “You gave a good service so I’ll keep recommending you. One day when I can afford it, I’ll use you.”

He sent me money which he said was the commission for recommending him. He came to say good morning often and said good night a few times. He made me laugh and made me look forward to his calls. One day he asked, “Can we meet? Just pick a place and I will bet there.”

Instantly, I felt like running away. My mouth turned sour and I began stuttering when I was giving him an answer; “Errm you think—you think so? What for? We are good this way I think.”

He insisted. I gave him a date and time but I cancelled when the day arrived. I gave him another time and I cancelled. I told him, “You see, don’t let me disappoint you again. When there’s time, I will tell you so we meet.”

Weeks rolled into a month. We still didn’t meet. But each morning he was on the phone with me. In the evening I would call and ask how work was. We would end up on a video call for hours. During one of these video calls, he asked me, “You’re always wearing this shade. Are your eyes scared of the world?” I laughed and said, “My eyes are not good, that’s why I’m hiding them.”

He thought it was a joke so he laughed. I wanted to elaborate but I freaked out. I didn’t say more. He asked me to remove the shade. I told him I had the eyes of Medusa so mortals turn to stones when they look into them. We made jokes and laughed while I was deeply thinking if it was time for me to tell him. I didn’t until one afternoon, I met him at his side of town.

He looked at me and called me beautiful. He wasn’t anything less than I expected, a gentleman in his prime, tall and gentle with a smile that lights up the moment. Immediately I sat down, I took off my spectacles. He sat still and motionless for a while. He said, “So you weren’t joking when you said you had the eyes of Medusa. Look at me frozen. Am I rock now?”

On a normal day, he wouldn’t have laughed alone but this time he did. He ordered a drink. I ordered a bottle of water. He asked, “So when did it start? In your photos on Facebook, both of them were perfect. What happened.”

“It was a splinter.”

After the meeting, I expected him to run. When I texted him I was home and he didn’t respond immediately, I knew the end had come. He reminded me of the last serious boyfriend I had. The one who saw me at the ward and never came back. I encouraged myself that I wasn’t going to blame him or get angry if he didn’t call back our text again but in the evening he called. He was still bubbly and lively. He apologized for the hours of silence. He said it was work.

A year later, I asked him why he didn’t run. In his jovial element, he said, “You turned me into a rock and you expect me to run? Rocks don’t run, remember?” I laughed but he didn’t. I said, “No, I’m not joking. Seriously, why didn’t you run?” He answered, “I was curious. I wanted to know you beyond what I saw. You were beautiful and courteous and showed every good morals but I wanted to know more than that.”

I asked, “So have you seen what you wanted to see?” He answered, “I don’t know yet but let’s see what tomorrow brings.”

Tomorrow brought us together as a husband and wife after everyone had written us off. My friends said he didn’t love me truly but was taking advantage of my situation. His friends and a section of his family asked why he would like to marry a blind woman. We have to defend our love to people but when we were together, we were defenseless against each other. I surrendered for him to love me wholly. He submitted to my desires and was willing to stay with me where the grass was less greener.

It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person

To us, it wasn’t difficult but to the outside world, we were a difficult question to answer. Slowly, we are entering our eighth anniversary. It had always been love, commitment and care. The kids brought us a miracle, which we always treasure but to us, what we have and what we’ve been able to build as a family is the real miracle.

— Juliana 

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