I love my name. Three names that exist harmoniously wherever I put them. Apart from the fact that it’s my dad’s name, I’ve come to love the sound of them and don’t want to change any of them. I’m getting married early next year. I’ve made this point clear over and over again to my boyfriend. That I’m not going to change my name.
At first, he didn’t seem to care. That was two years ago but as the months draw nigh for us to get married, he’s started showing concern about my position. I’ve told him I want to keep my dad’s name. There’s some weight to it and some favours that come with my family name. I’ve explained to him the unfairness that comes with such an arrangement. Men get to keep their names in marriage while a woman’s name dissolves in the vow. I’ve explained to him that me not taking his name officially doesn’t mean less love.
I love us. I love him and I love our story but I can’t love his name at the end of my name. He doesn’t get it. He feels I’m rejecting the marriage if I reject his name. “What’s wrong with my name?” He asked. “What’s wrong with my name that I can’t get to keep it?” I responded.
“Your mom took your dad’s name. That’s how it’s done everywhere.”
“I’m not my mom. If I were your sister, I would say the same thing to my boyfriend. I’ll keep our name.”
I Proposed To Him But He Later Made Me Regret
It looks like I’m not going to win this argument. Everyone laughs when they hear this. My dad laughed and wished me well when I told him. To me, it’s not a laughing matter. I want it that way. Even if he wants me to fund the wedding to keep my name, I’ll do it. Is that too much to ask? Especially when a name change doesn’t add to or subtract from the love we share.
— Anita
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
******
Sweet Anita,
It seems you’re getting something wrong here.
Most times, bearing your husband name after marriage becomes a title to your personality. It doesn’t take anything solid from you in any cost.
You still use your given names given to you by your parents when you’re doing documentation which are official. You already have your name given to you by your parents on almost all you credentials , therefore, this name stay valid.
After marriage, you attach affidavit to your current name and they stay valid.
I think, your dad is in the best position to explain this better to you to comprehend it ones and for all but he’s rather making a fun out it.
This is nothing serious my dear. Make research and on that note and have more information on this dilemma you’re facing.
Thanks.
It’s funny how the name Anita came to mind when reading the story, and surprisingly it was a Anita who brought her story. The name that came to mind was Anita Akua Akuffo . Lol
Very true Perpetual, reading the story, that name rings in my mind and somewhat has a connection to the story…Lol
You can use your husband’s name and still the get the benefit attached to it. Mind you ,you will only lose yourself or your identity if you want to. You listening to him doesn’t mean he will walk all over you if that is your fear.
Problem is your husband will look like a wimp if he can’t get you to take his name.
George is right. If he accepts this, society will not let him be. Don’t lose a good man over this. The Why don’t you combine both surnames into a compound name? Most people use this as a workaround.