There’s a rich man in my girlfriend’s life. She doesn’t like it when I call him sugar daddy so between us, we call him Rich. Rich for short and Rich for long. He was in a relationship with my girlfriend before I proposed to her. She didn’t lie about anything. She told me about the man and said she was ready to let go of him as soon as possible if only I would be serious.

I promised her seriousness and commitment. I told her I would do everything to win if only she would give me a fighting chance. So we started. In my mind, I had a rival I had to outrun to win. I called every morning to say hi. In the afternoon, I called to check up on her. In the evening, I met her in town so we could go home together.

The first day she came to my house, she brought foodstuff to cook for us. The soup looked like a fishpond. Every fish was in it. The stew was a forest of meat. She made salad. She made a lot of dishes to keep me going throughout the week. I didn’t pay a penny. She did all that with her money.

It didn’t stop there. She comes every weekend to cook for me. When I’m at her place, she treats me like a husband who gives GHC1000  a day as housekeeping money. She won’t take anything from me. Sometimes I have to beg her to let me pay for things when we go out. I don’t have much. Maybe she knows it, that’s why she does all that for me.

Six months after being in a relationship, Rich was still in her life. I asked about him and she told me, “I’m in the process of letting him go. Be patient.”

I understood her. I wanted her to do it in her own time. Rich doesn’t have time so he doesn’t interfere in our relationship. He calls only once in a while. My girlfriend doesn’t call him until he calls. That’s the rule. He sees her once in a while. He used to travel with her but once we met, she stopped following him around.

One day my girlfriend sent me a screenshot of a message she had sent to Rich. It was their breakup message. The man was begging Suzzy not to leave him. Suzzy was reminding him about his beautiful family and the fact that the relationship between them wasn’t going anywhere. A rich man, a man who has it all was begging my girlfriend. Women have power.

That breakup dragged on for over a month. Suzzy was determined to leave but the man kept begging. When the man sent a voice note, she sent it to me and we laughed.

But something changed. Something drastic. During the month they were going to and fro with the breakup issues, the oil in our relationship ran dry. Suzzy took money from me before she could cook for us. What my money could cook was lousy and wretched as compared to the ones she cooked previously with Rich’s money. She wasn’t complaining. I was the one looking down on myself.  She didn’t look happy. Her bubbly self flew through the window and was out for so long.

So one day, I advised her to take it slow on the man. “Don’t break it off abruptly. You might hurt him. Take your time with him, slowly, he’ll fall off just like the tick falls off the skin of its host eventually.”

They got back together again and from then on things started changing. The oil was back. The wheels of our relationship ran smoothly.

She cooked without asking for money from me. She paid our bills. She bought gifts. She paid for our Uber ride. She was in charge again. I told myself, “This man should never leave again.”

Don’t get me wrong. I love Suzzy. I will do everything to keep her in my life. When I’m ready today, she’ll be the one I will marry. The fact that she wants to let go of a better life just for me makes me love her the more but my problem is, I feel she deserves better. Better looks good on her but I can’t provide it. So there’s Rich to do all that for her.

We’ve dated for a year. The love between us is still green. We fight only when it’s necessary. We fight because our relationship is worth fighting for. We talk about the future because she’ll be there with me but anytime we talk about Rich, I don’t know where to place him in our future. He’s the source of something good. I want him around us, even in the future. I don’t know how to convince Suzzy to continue to keep him around without taking it wrongly. I would like to tell her, “I love you so much that’s why I don’t want you to leave Rich.”

How would that even make sense in her ears? When they fight, our relationship experiences drought. You could look at her face and tell that she is missing something. Something I can’t give. Something she could easily get from Rich. She loves me so much to think of letting all that go. I love her so much I want all that to stay.

Women are not allowed to be polygamous but I don’t mind if Suzzy is. Rich doesn’t want so much from her. He’s married. He has kids who are in good schools both abroad and at home. He’s a businessman who doesn’t have time to even spend a night with Suzzy. I’m not jealous. She doesn’t tell me when they make love. That’s also fine with me. By all means, they should stay together in whatever they have going. I will also be in my corner, taking what I can get and giving what I can give.

My lack of jealousy sometimes surprises her but she should know by this time that I’m fine with her and Rich being together. I wish I could scream it loud in her ears that she shouldn’t leave Rich but I can’t do it because she won’t understand. So what I do is to encourage her to take her time and allow the breakup to happen naturally.

You’re right if you say something is wrong with me. You’ll be right if you tell me I’m a deviation from what it means to be a man. You’ll be right because I’m wrong but why does it feel so normal to me?

Anyway, I feel someone should hear this and say something that’s why I’m putting my story here. I’ve kept it to myself for over a year. It’s not healthy, especially when I think about it every day.

I Discovered He Had Another Woman But I Couldn’t Leave Him

Say something, maybe I’ll read something that will hit my head and reset my brain. Rich makes our relationship good. Without him, she’s sad and our relationship experiences drought. Now that he’s still in her life and they are not fighting, she’s happy and it shows in the way she talks, the way she smiles and the way she gives. I’m not selfish. She should keep their relationship going.

—Percy

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