There’s a rich man in my girlfriend’s life. She doesn’t like it when I call him sugar daddy so between us, we call him Rich. Rich for short and Rich for long. He was in a relationship with my girlfriend before I proposed to her. She didn’t lie about anything. She told me about the man and said she was ready to let go of him as soon as possible if only I would be serious.
I promised her seriousness and commitment. I told her I would do everything to win if only she would give me a fighting chance. So we started. In my mind, I had a rival I had to outrun to win. I called every morning to say hi. In the afternoon, I called to check up on her. In the evening, I met her in town so we could go home together.
The first day she came to my house, she brought foodstuff to cook for us. The soup looked like a fishpond. Every fish was in it. The stew was a forest of meat. She made salad. She made a lot of dishes to keep me going throughout the week. I didn’t pay a penny. She did all that with her money.
It didn’t stop there. She comes every weekend to cook for me. When I’m at her place, she treats me like a husband who gives GHC1000 a day as housekeeping money. She won’t take anything from me. Sometimes I have to beg her to let me pay for things when we go out. I don’t have much. Maybe she knows it, that’s why she does all that for me.
Six months after being in a relationship, Rich was still in her life. I asked about him and she told me, “I’m in the process of letting him go. Be patient.”
I understood her. I wanted her to do it in her own time. Rich doesn’t have time so he doesn’t interfere in our relationship. He calls only once in a while. My girlfriend doesn’t call him until he calls. That’s the rule. He sees her once in a while. He used to travel with her but once we met, she stopped following him around.
One day my girlfriend sent me a screenshot of a message she had sent to Rich. It was their breakup message. The man was begging Suzzy not to leave him. Suzzy was reminding him about his beautiful family and the fact that the relationship between them wasn’t going anywhere. A rich man, a man who has it all was begging my girlfriend. Women have power.
That breakup dragged on for over a month. Suzzy was determined to leave but the man kept begging. When the man sent a voice note, she sent it to me and we laughed.
But something changed. Something drastic. During the month they were going to and fro with the breakup issues, the oil in our relationship ran dry. Suzzy took money from me before she could cook for us. What my money could cook was lousy and wretched as compared to the ones she cooked previously with Rich’s money. She wasn’t complaining. I was the one looking down on myself. She didn’t look happy. Her bubbly self flew through the window and was out for so long.
So one day, I advised her to take it slow on the man. “Don’t break it off abruptly. You might hurt him. Take your time with him, slowly, he’ll fall off just like the tick falls off the skin of its host eventually.”
They got back together again and from then on things started changing. The oil was back. The wheels of our relationship ran smoothly.
She cooked without asking for money from me. She paid our bills. She bought gifts. She paid for our Uber ride. She was in charge again. I told myself, “This man should never leave again.”
Don’t get me wrong. I love Suzzy. I will do everything to keep her in my life. When I’m ready today, she’ll be the one I will marry. The fact that she wants to let go of a better life just for me makes me love her the more but my problem is, I feel she deserves better. Better looks good on her but I can’t provide it. So there’s Rich to do all that for her.
We’ve dated for a year. The love between us is still green. We fight only when it’s necessary. We fight because our relationship is worth fighting for. We talk about the future because she’ll be there with me but anytime we talk about Rich, I don’t know where to place him in our future. He’s the source of something good. I want him around us, even in the future. I don’t know how to convince Suzzy to continue to keep him around without taking it wrongly. I would like to tell her, “I love you so much that’s why I don’t want you to leave Rich.”
How would that even make sense in her ears? When they fight, our relationship experiences drought. You could look at her face and tell that she is missing something. Something I can’t give. Something she could easily get from Rich. She loves me so much to think of letting all that go. I love her so much I want all that to stay.
Women are not allowed to be polygamous but I don’t mind if Suzzy is. Rich doesn’t want so much from her. He’s married. He has kids who are in good schools both abroad and at home. He’s a businessman who doesn’t have time to even spend a night with Suzzy. I’m not jealous. She doesn’t tell me when they make love. That’s also fine with me. By all means, they should stay together in whatever they have going. I will also be in my corner, taking what I can get and giving what I can give.
My lack of jealousy sometimes surprises her but she should know by this time that I’m fine with her and Rich being together. I wish I could scream it loud in her ears that she shouldn’t leave Rich but I can’t do it because she won’t understand. So what I do is to encourage her to take her time and allow the breakup to happen naturally.
You’re right if you say something is wrong with me. You’ll be right if you tell me I’m a deviation from what it means to be a man. You’ll be right because I’m wrong but why does it feel so normal to me?
Anyway, I feel someone should hear this and say something that’s why I’m putting my story here. I’ve kept it to myself for over a year. It’s not healthy, especially when I think about it every day.
I Discovered He Had Another Woman But I Couldn’t Leave Him
Say something, maybe I’ll read something that will hit my head and reset my brain. Rich makes our relationship good. Without him, she’s sad and our relationship experiences drought. Now that he’s still in her life and they are not fighting, she’s happy and it shows in the way she talks, the way she smiles and the way she gives. I’m not selfish. She should keep their relationship going.
—Percy
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The question is “For how long?”
If you never reach the stage the man is to provide all the things he provides, for how long will this charade continue.
Or you will marry her and still let her be seeing other rich men.
In a way, I understand a bit what you mean. Love and fear of loosing people because you aren’t up to standard can make you do crazy things.
But take hold of your relationship which you intend to turn into a marriage. And allow the two of you to experience what you will be experiencing now till many years to come. Hardship to growth to great achievements.
Pour out all your plans, ideas and fantasies in your head unto the table and see how you two can help each other.
The river(source of money) will dry up some day.
Percy dear, please advise your girlfriend to acquire more money from him and use that money to get a property don’t waste it. Remember opportunity in life comes but once.
Percy is a pimp. Why don’t you hire a brothel and just keep you woman there for all to come have a go and leave you money. It appears that is the only thing you enjoy out of this relationship. You cannot sell a plan to this beautiful suzzy and put sweat, grate and passion for this woman to follow you? Fire burn you.
When this man finally dies or leaves, that is when you will understand the agreement you went into
To me, this guy is an opportunist. simple! Unfortunately, the man will leave one day. You have refused to grow and remained like this until something terrible shakes your understanding of life.
I have nothing to say about the lady. She will suffer abuse from you one day when the pockets run dry. I like the fact that she is not happy with you once Mr rich is not giving. The foundation of future marital fantasies is inside an old man’s pocket.
I am not advising you guys to break up. I would love to see your miserable story later in life when you had missed the opportunity to grow up and by then paying for it. Enjoy and keep encouraging her to continue too
The worst thing is the money that is spent recklessly. You both can’t save to do meaningful things. You two should not use your tomorrow to eat finish today oooooo
Wow,it’s like you are her pimp.You don’t mind pimping your girlfriend to anyone ,as long as the money is coming. It really makes me wonder if you’re ever going to have a normal relationship for example if the rich guy dies.Are you going to also help in pimping her to someone else since there won’t be an oil in your relationship.Are you guys ever going to survive any rough financial patches in your relationship without a rich man in sight and not forgetting STIs and STDs.
Dear Percy I would believe you are immature if you speak this way. You don’t want to face the hardships in life forgetting you need to start from some point, this should have push you to thrive and make something better for yourself. I you really love her and not what she brings yo the table you would put in your sweat and blood but it looks like you ain’t ready yo face life yourself. Please restructure your thinking
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