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I was sure I knew Alfie like I knew my own palm. I know people often say these things about their partners but my case is different. We grew up together. Our families knew each other. Our mums were practically best friends. Due to their closeness, we often found ourselves playing together whenever they met. They sent us to the same school.

We were those kids who went to school together, stayed glued to each other our entire stay in school, and came home together. As kids, we were inseparable. We were either playing together or studying together. People often referred to us as a duo. It was always Alfie and Rita.

Our close bond continued until my family moved to another region. We couldn’t keep in touch then so we lost whatever bond we had nurtured right from infancy. As I got older and made friends I found myself often thinking about Alfie. I doubt if anyone can ever forget that kind of closeness with another human.

As time passed, he got in touch with someone who knew another person who had my number. That’s how we reconnected. Just as I thought of him from time to time, he too hadn’t forgotten about me. And the bond we once shared remained intact. You would think no time had passed between us. We fell right back into old patterns of having long conversations and teasing each other. It was a mix of nostalgia and the present.

While I was happy to have my friend back, he was not happy I was back in his life only as a friend. He wanted more. I felt I wasn’t ready but he persuaded me that our relationship was not going to be anything so different from the friendship we already shared. We were already living far apart so it made sense. I decided to give him a shot. Thus began our five-year long-distance relationship.

Most people find it difficult to maintain long-distance relationships but not us. I felt I already knew what there was to know about him. I am not saying everything was smooth between us. We had our rough patches here and there but we always got through them. Whatever problem we encountered, he told me; “I know things are bad but we will work them out. I lost you once so I am not doing that again. This time around, I am holding you close to my bosom as if you are the last parachute on a plane that is crashing fast.”

I am not going to lie, there were times that I tried to get rid of him. However, no matter what I did, he stayed by my side while assuring me that he was not going anywhere. This was one of the things that made me love him more. It gave me a sense of security. I was happy to know that he was not the kind of man who would wake up one day and tell me he didn’t love me anymore. He was loud about the way he wanted me and was willing to fight for me. That was all I needed to agree to marry him.

In 2022, we took the big jump and walked down the aisle. We now have a son together. Things were going so well for us. We were building a home where our child could grow up peacefully and thrive in every aspect of his life. I believe as parents, it is our job to ensure we are being responsible for the blessing God has given us. What better way to do that than to give him a stable home and a good life?

As stated earlier, things were going well for us until they weren’t. My husband started having problems at work. I thought it was something small that could easily be resolved. It wasn’t until he started selling our possessions that I knew the extent of his troubles. My husband had embezzled a huge sum of money from his work. The company threatened to arrest him if he didn’t refund the money. He had to sell our TV, AC, Fridge, couch, and everything he could get his hands on. It still wasn’t enough. I had to borrow money from my family with the promise that he would repay it as soon as possible. That was how he was able to settle the debt with his company.

He couldn’t tell me what he used the money for when I first asked him. I had to push and push before he finally answered, “I used the money for sports betting.” I never thought this would be my life. That I would marry a man who would throw away the happiness and stability we enjoyed in our home just to fuel his betting addiction.

He lost his job and we lost everything along with it. What to even eat became a problem. I had to move to my mum’s place and pray for the best.

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A few months after that brouhaha, he got a job in another town. The place was very far from where we lived but we were glad that he got another opportunity to start life on a fresh page. When he started work he hardly sent us money for upkeep. I wasn’t bothered because I had something doing that earned me enough to take care of our child. Besides, I didn’t want my husband to feel pressured by money problems.

When school vacated, he asked that we come and spend the holidays with him. It was a very long journey but we went. Shortly after my arrival, I found out that this man had done it again. The betting. The embezzlement. The very thing he did at his previous job repeated itself. He was nearly arrested but maybe God saved him somehow so he’s been given a week to pay the money else the police will come for him.

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I’m shattered to the core. I have cried my eyes out. I keep wondering what I should do to him. Why would he keep betting after what it did to us barely eight months ago? I have lost everything because of this thing. What even hurts me is he hasn’t settled a pesewa of my family’s money and now they are demanding the money. Now I have to carry the shame of being the wife of a gambler.

I wanted to post my story the first time it happened but I didn’t because I thought God made me a strong woman for issues like this. However, now that it’s happening for the second time, it is killing my soul. I was inspired by a story read recently by one of the sisters on the page whose husband is also into sports betting. I am not one to judge others but let me tell you, people who are addicted to betting will drain the life out of you. At this point, I am wondering if I should file for divorce or take a break from the marriage.

— Rita

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