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After I failed two papers in my WASSCE, I moved to Accra in search of greener pastures. The only person I knew in town was my stepsister so I moved in with her and her husband. My first move was to put myself out there and look for a job. I roamed the streets tirelessly but I couldn’t get anything decent to do. After a month of my stay, my sister and her husband made plans to move to Koforidua. Everything I wanted to achieve was right here in Accra so I didn’t move with them.

They left me in their room which would have been a good thing if only I had the money to pay the rent. At that time too I wanted to do a computer course to increase my chances of getting a job. Where was I going to get the money? While I contemplated my next move, my sister’s rent advance was almost finished. I was running out of time and options with each passing day.

I kept pushing to make things work until I got the opportunity to join a security company. I worked as a day guard for one year just to raise GHC300 cedis for my computer course and also, some money to pay for a single room. People who knew me made fun of me because I was a security guard. “Why is a beautiful girl like you doing this kind of work?” They would ask. I knew what I wanted to achieve so I was not concerned with anything anyone said.

While I was yet to raise money for rent, my sister’s landlord started chasing me around for his money. I would tell him, “Give me up to next week to raise the money,” only for him to return and meet me empty-handed. One day he got angry and caused an embarrassing scene when I didn’t give him the money. Nothing I said could calm him down. Until a man came out of nowhere and told the landlord, “If you won’t listen to her then listen to me. I will find her a place to move to by next week so you can have your room.” Fortunately, the landlord listened to this guy and left.

He introduced himself as Mensah. He didn’t know me from anywhere but he took it upon himself to rent a single room for me. Just as he promised the landlord, I was able to move in within a week. After I settled in, I called my mother and asked her to help me raise some money from the village so I could repay Mensah’s money. However, he refused to take the money.

A year later, I stopped the security work and enrolled in a computer school. After the course, I got a better job which paid very well. Within six months, I registered for Nov/Dec to rewrite my failed papers. By God’s grace, I passed this time around. Things started getting better for me. And through it all, Mensah was by my side as a close friend and confidante.

One evening, Mensah visited me at home, which was not unusual. While we were having a conversation he blurted out, “I am in love with you, and I want you to be my girlfriend. There, I have said it.” He sounded so relieved when he said it. I could tell that he had suppressed his feelings for a long time, and it made me smile. I also had feelings for him so we started dating.

One day a strange number called me. When I answered the call I heard Kay’s voice. I didn’t even say, “Hello”. The first thing I said was, “Where did you get my number?” He said he asked about me in the village until someone gave him my number. It had been three years since I last heard from him. So I didn’t know what he was looking for. I told him I was busy so I would call him back, and then I hung up.

A few days later he called again. He didn’t waste time on pleasantries. “I made a mistake when I left you. But now I have come to my senses, and I want you back,” he said. I got so mad at him and warned him not to call my number again. He wouldn’t listen. He kept disturbing me with calls until I told him that I am already with someone so we can be friends. It didn’t go well with him. And he kept calling me until he got tired and stopped.

After three months, he called and asked me to do him a favour urgently. He needed help drafting a CV. He is a JHS leaver so I took pity on him and worked on his CV for him. Two months later, he informed me that he got the job he applied for, and his life was turning around. All this while, he was still pushing me to get back with him. This is a guy who was living with another woman and they had two kids together. Even if he was single, I would not have taken him back.

I was there one day when he called me sounding so desperate. He was owing some people who were threatening to arrest him. By then I had saved up GHC8000 for school. Although he was unkind to me in the past, I didn’t want him to go to jail. So once again, I took pity on him and loaned him my savings so he would invest it in a business and make enough profit to settle his debts. I gave him up to six months to repay the loan. He thanked me profusely while he was taking the money but he stopped picking up my calls right after that.

I thought he wouldn’t contact me again but I was in for a shock when he called me from prison. The person he was owing had him arrested. He needed me to bail him out. This is where I should have shut him out, right? Forgive me for not doing that. I spent whatever money I had to bail him out. After he got out he disappeared from my life. We couldn’t reach him on the phone or find him in person to date. I lost so much money because of him but I was not even bitter. I accepted the situation as a difficult life lesson and did my best to move past it.

Three years after the incident, Mensah and I got married. All my troubles should have ended here but no, this is where they began.

A few months into our marriage, I lost my job. The one thing that brought me joy was that I was pregnant. This pregnancy came with a whole lot of complications. But I held on to hope that everything would be okay. A day after the baby was born, we lost her. The doctors couldn’t tell us what caused it. Anybody who has ever lost a child will understand that my pain cannot be captured with words. My husband and I held on to each other through our grief. Knowing that we still had each other was the only that brought me comfort.

Just as we started to feel a little bit of normalcy, my husband’s money started getting missing mysteriously. It was just the two of us in the house, and I was unemployed so he started pointing fingers at me. My sweet and caring husband turned against me. When I tried to resolve our issues he would say, “I wouldn’t have married you if I knew you were a thief.” This thing almost destroyed my marriage, but somehow we held on.

As if I hadn’t suffered enough, I fell seriously ill. It was strange. The doctors ran a series of tests but they couldn’t come up with any diagnosis. After doing their best and not succeeding, they sent me home. I was constantly in pain but I couldn’t tell the source of my affliction.

This continued till my sister took me to a spiritualist. I am someone who doesn’t believe in those spiritual things so I didn’t know what to expect. The moment the man saw us he started laughing. He didn’t even ask about our mission. All he kept saying was, “He wanted to destroy the marriage but he couldn’t succeed so he is after your life.” I asked, “Papa who?” He didn’t mention any names. Rather, he gave me oil to rub on my skin after bathing at night. “Whomever you see in your sleep is the cause of your problems.” He concluded.

I went home and did exactly as he instructed. I dreamt that night and saw Kay in my sleep, begging me to come back to him. Early the next morning, I called my sister and told her I saw Kay in my dreams. We all burst into laughter on the phone. Why will Kay destroy my marriage or want me dead? I didn’t offend him in any way. I believed the man was joking so I told my sister that I wouldn’t go back to his place.

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As time went on, my condition got worse. This time around, it was my brother who took me to a different place. We got there and the man told me to take any amount of money and say my problems in my head. I did as he instructed. When I finished he looked at me and said, “He promised to marry you but he broke his promise. So now he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. That’s why he wants you dead. You have a pure heart, if not you would have been dead by now.” He went on to describe my sickness and added that my ex-boyfriend was responsible for it.

Kay is my only ex, so I knew it was him. The first man was right after all. The spiritualist asked if he should reverse the sickness to the person who sent it, and I said no. He commended me for my honourable intentions and proceeded to list some items for my healing.

He made some concoctions for me to drink. At first, I couldn’t talk properly. I couldn’t eat anything at all. But now, I am better. I have not fully recovered but I have made a lot of progress. My marriage is not fully recovered either, but we are working on it.

Wherever Kay is, I pray he changes his ways and mindset toward me. I never wished him evil for a single day, even after the heartbreak he put me through. I never spent his money. So why is he trying to hurt me? When I think about the whole thing, I become afraid. There are times I consider hurting him back but I have decided to just let everything go.

#MyFirstRelationship

—AB

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#SB