I’m a man who married a single mother. She has a beautiful daughter, Gretel. The presence of the girl didn’t bother me. I got to know Ami for myself and I loved her because she is respectful and knew what she wanted in life.

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We dated for about a year, and I can confidently say she is everything I have ever wanted in a woman. When I was sure she was the one for me, I proposed marriage to her and she said yes.

Before we tied the knot, we lived together for a while. I liked the way she ran our little family. I know mothers always put their children first but not my Ami. I never felt left out. She managed to give the two of us equal care and attention.

When we finally got married, I was happy to see that she and Gretel got along so well with my mother. Seeing the three most important females in my life flow seamlessly was a good sign that our family would be a peaceful one.

After a year of marriage, Ami and I welcomed a beautiful boy together. She still didn’t make me feel left out. Even with the new baby, she continued to balance her time and love between all of us. I helped out as much as I could whenever I was off work.

Before Ami had the baby, Gretel and I spent time together bonding. I am sure that girl grew to love me even more than she did her mother. She called me her hero.

We played a lot. I loved buying her gifts. And one of my favourite things to do was to take her and her mother out on dates. I can still remember the first time she called me, “Daddy.” It made me incredibly happy.

However, my attention shifted from her when my son was born. I began to focus only on him. When I bought gifts, I only bought for the boy. I didn’t even realize what I was doing.

My wife noticed the change in my behaviour and asked if something was wrong. I told her everything was fine.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. When my son turned one year old, I threw a big party for him, inviting both sides of the family.

While all this was going on, I didn’t realize my wife had started to withdraw from me emotionally. She put on a brave face but deep down, she was not happy.

By the time Gretel was six years old, and my son was two, I had stopped paying her school fees. Ami didn’t complain. She just stepped up and started paying the fees herself.

As time passed, I noticed that whenever I bought a gift for the boy, Ami would also buy something for Gretel just so she wouldn’t feel left out.

It all didn’t dawn on me until one day I overheard Gretel asking her mother, “Mummy, why does Daddy hate me? He doesn’t buy me gifts anymore or play with me.”

Something inside me broke that day as I heard my wife’s voice shaking as she tried to explain to the little girl that I didn’t hate her.

That was when I knew just how much damage I was causing my family.

I tried to fix things but I was too late. Ami told me, “When you loved me, I was sure you loved my daughter too. That’s why I married you. Now too much has changed.”

She said she needed some time away from me to think about the way forward. My peaceful wife took Greta and left for her parents’. She didn’t take my son along.

Their absence has taught me a lesson about loneliness I never want to learn again. I have been devastated. I call her every day. I talk to my daughter too. “Daddy, when are we coming home?” She asks me.

I tell her soon but I don’t know that for sure. Because Ami insists she needs more time. At some point, when I felt I had suffered enough, I went to her parents’ house and begged her to come home.

“I know how much damage I have caused but we can fix this. It’s you and me, Ami. Nothing is beyond us.”

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She is still refusing to budge. I can’t even blame her. I brought this upon myself. We had a good thing going until I destroyed everything with my own hands. I shouldn’t have listened to my friends when they told me not to invest too much of myself into Gretel.

“No matter what you do for her, she will grow up one day and go looking for her real father. That’s when you will know you watered another man’s plants.”

You Broke Me Into Pieces: A Daughter’s Emotional Conversation With Her Father

Look at me now, buried in regret. I am about to lose a good woman and a beautiful daughter because of my negligence and stupidity.

Please, tell me how to save what’s left of my marriage. I don’t know what I would do if they never come home to me.

—Koshe

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