When she became my girlfriend, the first advice she gave me was, “Leave your parents’ house and rent your own place.” I didn’t see the need to do that. It’s Accra we live. It’s not easy to get a place like my parents’ house for cheap. She brought it up on different occasions but I told her I’ll leave when it’s convenient.
She stopped talking about it but everything showed she wasn’t pleased about the situation. Whenever she had to visit me, she complained. Whenever my mom or dad didn’t smile, she said it was because of her. I explained why I didn’t need to leave but she told me, “You can only be a man when you experience life outside the wings of your parents.”
We’ve been able to do two years of relationship and want to take things further. I mentioned marriage to her and she laughed. She said, “You’re going to marry while living with your parents? No way. Do you even know how to take care of yourself?”
Yes, I do. I’ve been working and supporting my parents to pay the bills. I take care of myself, though I live with them. I’ve seen my dad be a man and I’ve learnt a lot from him. I can hold a home. I can be a husband. I can take care of a family. What again?
She’s not convinced. She took me to see her parents’ house. She said, “You see how big and comfortable it is here? But I left so I can learn life skills on my own.”
What Would You Do For A Friend Who Has 24 Hours To Live?
Currently, we are in limbo. She wants me to rent a place and live on my own for at least a year before thinking about marriage. She wants to come to a house I call my own and see if I can turn it into a home. Does that even make sense? I feel she wants me to waste money on rent. She feels it’s the right thing to do. I feel it’s not necessary.
On whose side are you? You think I’ll be a bad husband just because I live with my parents?
–Farouk
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I think your wife is right about it. Are you taking her to your parents house after marriage??
She’s just fighting for her privacy my dear
She has a point. You and her are a separate unit and you should begin to see it as such. Make your own mistakes, argue in your own privacy and get to know yourselves intimately before you take the plunge. I don’t think she is asking for a mansion. Go for what you can afford, even if it is a single room.
Farouk,if u really want to feel and experience life, kindly get out of your comfort zone in your parents house,rent a place of your own and you will understand and appreciate her request.
I will only move into my parents house when they’re gone.
Farouk it doesn’t necessarily mean you would be a bad husband but for the sake of peace you should consider moving out. Once from the beginning she is feeling uncomfortable, you need to adjust appropriately for the sake of peace. Some in-laws relate well some just don’t. Also, you need to have a sense of living alone as a man (as cliché as it may sound.) A man is a nest leaver however also note that the main reason for this is to learn to fly on your own but it looks like you are already flying cos you said you take up some of the responsibilities so it just basically boils down to keeping her happy by sacrificing (if you guys can meet in the middle somewhere that won’t be bad too.) All in all communicate effectively with each other on this matter and someone should sacrifice in love for the sake of the relationship.
As a man, if you want to date and marry, you must show and prove that you can provide, protect and lead your woman and your kingdom (home). You cannot achieve the above when you are still living under your parents since that is another man’s kingdom, your father. You wife/girlfriend is right. Like all women, she desires security and an environment where she can build her home with her king(you). Get out of your parents home and go build your own.
I don’t know how many women in this century will marry a guy who lives in his father’s house and intends to continue living there after marriage. Every woman deserves to have her privacy Farouk. So it makes a lot of sense what she’s suggesting you do. My dad lived with my mum in his father’s house and you can’t imagine what happened. My grandparents seemed nice in the beginning and few months later, they changed totally. Both my mum and dad have regretted so much. Don’t make that mistake. If you want to have a live with your future wife, find a place of your own.
He’s not thinking straight. You don’t learn. Even the Bible says a man should leave his parent’s house and take care of his family. And the 2 shall be come one. Something like that. So my brother. Act fast if you want her as your wife
Move out to your own place my guy, however small it is, it’s your place, then you would know life properly