I had a child with him six years ago. The boy lives with his grandmother now. At the time I was pregnant we had broken up. So by the time the baby arrived I didn’t have any feelings for him. My family didn’t understand this. They believed we should be together for the sake of the baby.

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I didn’t agree with them but he did. He often by passed me because of this. He would go directly to my family and confess his undying love for me. “I don’t understand why your daughter won’t marry me,” he would complain, “even if my love for her is not enough reason, can’t she consider our son?”

In their eyes, he made a better argument than I did. He wanted us to be a family but I was refusing because I wasn’t in love with him. It didn’t make sense to them. They even threatened to disown me if I didn’t give the marriage proposal a consideration.

At a point, my mum sat me down and said, “As a woman, it is better to marry a man who loves you than to marry the one you love.”

After all the back and forth, I agreed to marry Kweku. He’s 42, and I’m 35. We had the marriage ceremony last year.

Right from the beginning of the marriage, our sex life was not right. Something about him just didn’t sit right with me. Even when we did it, I couldn’t involve myself emotionally. I felt he was hiding something and it bothered me.

When he realized that I wasn’t all in, he tried to leave me. He asked for a separation three times within the first two months. But I told him we could make it work.

While I was trying to place a finger on all that was wrong, there was this female friend of his in the picture. We all attend the same church so I know her well.

He said they were besties, but I wasn’t comfortable with how close they were. According to him, she was doing her masters degree. “She is very intelligent, so she helps me to review proposals.”

Still, they were too close. Whenever her name came up he would say, “How can I ever do something like that? You know I am a devout Christian. People look up to me.”

Eventually, I let the matter go and focused on my marriage and personal growth. Unlike the girl, I wasn’t doing my masters. I didn’t even have a degree. All I have is my WASSCE certificate while my husband is pursuing his PhD. So I told myself I would position myself properly in life. That way my husband can count on me to help him with proposals instead of working with another woman.

When I discussed with him my plan to enroll in school, he showed no interest in supporting me. I didn’t mind though. I worked my teaching job on week days so I would sponsor myself through school, and then attended school on weekends.

This weekend, I found out lectures had been cancelled only after I got to campus. So I decided to return home earlier than usual. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming back.

When I got home, I saw a laptop I wasn’t familiar with. I opened it and realized it belonged to my husband’s “bestie.” I was just about to close it when WhatsApp messages popped up between the two of them.

I opened the chats and oh, the things I saw. These people have been sleeping together way before we got married. I gathered that she comes to our matrimonial home when I’m away at school.

In the chats, my husband insulted me to her. They even gave me a nickname. He sends her d**k pics. They confess their undying love to each other. Some of the things they said were too filthy. I can’t even talk about them. The girl is even planning to get pregnant for him.

After reading all that, I decided to stay outside and act like I never came back, just to see what would happen.

I saw his car enter the house around midnight. I waited a bit, then I also went in. He was surprised to see me.

“What are you doing home?”

“What happened to your lectures?”

I ignored his unnecessary questions and just kept going.

I walked to the hall but he blocked my path when he saw that I was entering the bedroom. I asked him why, and he said he had a visitor.

I told him, “I am here for your visitor so get out of my way.”

He tried to calm me down, but I pushed past him and opened the bedroom door. Lo and behold, his bestie was lying in our matrimonial bed, wearing a G-string and pressing her phone.

“What are you doing in my bed dressed like that at this time of the night?” I confronted her.

She didn’t even look remorseful as she said, “Nothing. I came to see my friend.”

“Your friend? Oh, you mean your sneaky link.”

She told me I shouldn’t speak on things I don’t have evidence of. So I took my phone. I wanted to take pictures as evidence but my husband didn’t let me. He pushed me out, and blocked me from entering the room until the lady dressed up and left.

READ ALSO: My Father Is Punishing Me For My Mother’s Affair

The next morning, I packed out and went straight to my family.

He’s been bombarding my phone with messages since then. He says he is sorry. He wants me to forgive him and come back home. But I can’t bring myself to. I always said I would work through whatever came in my marriage but cheating is where I draw the line.

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

Now my mom is blaming herself. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to marry him,” she says every time his name comes up. I’ve told her to calm down—because honestly, we all thought he was a saint.

Right now, I’m torn. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I just feel broken.

— Safoa

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