I carry myself about in a way that makes me come across as a very diplomatic person. I am formal with everyone in my life. Even the women I date are no exception. No matter how far I go with them, they are always shy when they are with me. Because of this, they don’t easily get to be themselves around me. I do my best to encourage them to loosen up, but it just doesn’t work. I can’t help being the way I am either.

God has also blessed me with three thriving businesses so I am doing well financially. This also adds to make my personality a little intimidating. All I have ever wanted was to find a woman who could get past my cool exterior and allow herself to be a complete mess around me. That way I can see the real person beneath the embodiment of propriety that women always feel the need to be.

I couldn’t connect properly with the women I dated until I met this pretty lady. She is dark in complexion and has the right body type for me. She is one of those who are neither skinny nor fat. Everything about her is in moderation. Just the way I would describe my ideal woman.

The first day I met her it was raining. She was walking by the roadside while I was driving, so I offered her a lift. The moment she sat in my car, she got comfortable and very chatty with me. This piqued my interest. I wanted to get to know her more. “Can I have your number so we continue our conversation?” I asked before she alighted. She smiled and said, “Sure.” Then we exchanged contacts.

As we got talking, I noticed that she wasn’t shy of me like most women were. I started admiring her for that. When things got comfortable between us I invited her over to my place. The hangout was fun but something unusual happened which made it all the more interesting. We were in the middle of lunch when this lady farted without shame. It was the loudest and longest one I have ever heard in my entire life.

When she finished, I expected her to feel embarrassed and apologize but that didn’t happen. Rather, she started laughing. I was so surprised that I couldn’t even get angry. I also joined her to laugh, and the whole thing became a wholesome joke between us.

Ever since that day, she continued doing it. We would be spending time together and she would release these long and loud farts. Sometimes I would laugh and say, “Do that again.” I loved the sound. I loved it more because she was the first woman who was able to put aside shyness and be her real self around me. I fell in love with her because of this.

We dated for a while, and the relationship was beautiful. Every time we got into a fight, she would fart and I would forgive her. Sometimes, I even got turned on when she did it. Due to certain problems, the relationship didn’t work out. It’s been a while since we broke up but I can’t seem to get over her.

READ ALSO: He Gave Me A Promise Ring But A Week Later, The Ring Promised To Break Us Apart

When I think about the sound of her fart alone, I get hard. Even now that we’ve broken up, when she does something to make me angry, and she farts, I forgive her. As crazy as it may sound, when I meet a woman who doesn’t do that around me, I don’t feel right about them. No matter how beautiful and charming they are, it doesn’t appeal to me. This thing that started as a joke with my ex has now become a kink.

7 Myths About Divorce In Ghana | Chat Café

This unexpected kink has now become a problem for my love life. I am unable to maintain a relationship with any woman who comes my way because they don’t fart around me. When they act all shy, and prim and proper, it puts me off. If I date a woman for three months and they still haven’t done it, I break up with them. That is the thing that turns me on so why should I be with you if you are hiding it from me?

Whenever a relationship ends, I start yearning for my ex all over again. I want to know if it is normal to feel this way. Are there men out here who admire the fart sounds of their women? If there are, kindly share your experiences with me. I need to know that I am not alone in this.

SHARE | Help Others See It Too

—Jamie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB