I Believe I Am In A Spiritual Relationship

It was a day of unexpected circumstances. First, my period came at a time it was not supposed to come. I was at ministries with my daughter when it happened. I didn’t know anyone around whom I could borrow a sanitary pad from so I rushed to the nearest convenience store to get one. On the way, I met a guy who kept staring at me. I didn’t want to encourage his attention so I quickly looked away from him. I found a store and walked in, only to see the strange man lurking around the same store.

I couldn’t tell if he had followed me or if it was just a coincidence, but I was a little annoyed that he was at the store. I felt embarrassed to buy the pad with him standing near me. So I whispered to the shop attendant, “Please, I want one Always.” After whispering my order, I turned around to see the strange man playing with my daughter. My first thought when I saw him was, “He is here too. Look at his annoying shoes.” Just then he asked me softly, “Where are you going?” I pointed in the direction I was going but I withheld the name of the place I was heading to.

I paid for my pad, took my daughter’s hand, and walked away from him. Only for us to bump into this same guy at the building I ended up in. It looked like he worked there, so I couldn’t accuse him of stalking me. When he saw me he said, “Please, give me your number. I like you, so if you are not in any serious relationship, I would love to be with you.” I did not expect to receive a love proposal when I left my house that morning so I was quite surprised. I just smiled and told him I had to go. He gave his number to me, “Call me when you are leaving. I know you are full of love, and I want to get to know you.”

After everything, I called him and he walked me to the bus stop. We talked a little about ourselves. “I am currently searching for a job,” I told him, “but in the meantime, I do cleaning service and some petty trading.” He looked happy as he commended me for my hard work. We met his colleagues at the bus stop and he introduced me and my daughter to them, “Guys, this is my wife and our daughter.” I was touched that he referred to us like that. After the guys left he told me, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with the introduction. It’s just that, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So I am already referring to you as my wife.” He then promised to help me get a job. While I was touched by his eagerness, I didn’t take him seriously.

We kept in touch after that meeting, and I enjoyed talking to him. One Friday afternoon I had to go run some errands in town so he proposed that we meet after I finish. By the time I was ready to meet him, he was busy, so he asked me to come to meet him then we would go to his house, and later proceed to my house. I didn’t think we were at the stage where we got to know each other’s house yet, but I went along with it.” When we got to his place, his cousin was there. He introduced me as his girlfriend, and we headed to my place.

He made us buy KFC on the way, so I wouldn’t stress myself to cook. My daughter usually spends the weekend with my best friend, so we had the whole place to ourselves. I thought we were going to watch movies and talk but Kwasi had other plans. As soon as we finished eating he started kissing me. I told him, “We are not going to have sex today.” And he agreed with me. Before I realized it, we were having shuperu. Honestly, I hadn’t been with anyone in a very long time so I was small down there, and his thing was big. I was also not psychologically prepared to go all the way with him so it just wasn’t working for me. I felt a lot of pain.

He wanted to do more but I couldn’t do it, and I could tell he was not pleased. He left my place the next day but before he left I went through his phone. He saved my name as “Efe The New Girl”. There were other girls whose names were saved in the same format. I read his chats with these girls. He was requesting sex from them and they asked him to buy them pizza first. I was shocked at first, but later I became very sad. I couldn’t tell him I read his chats. Rather I advised him, “Kwasi, women can make and unmake you. So don’t go about playing with their hearts.”

He was surprised, “No one has ever advised me like this, thank you. This is why I love you,” he said. I then told him that I am not a bad woman. I only ended up being a single mother because of my poor judgment of a man’s character. And he swore he meant it when he said he would marry me.

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This guy had the chance to leave the country for one month. And he didn’t come and see me before leaving. He also didn’t come and see me when he returned. All he did was send me videos and photos of the fun he was having. I realized then that I didn’t matter much to him. So I prayed and asked God to take him from my heart.

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While I was struggling to overcome my feelings for him, my younger sister died. Kwasi showed up and helped my family until my sister’s body was laid to rest. My parents were very impressed with him but I was confused. Why would he show up for me in my lowest moment if he didn’t care about me? I asked him why he keeps running away from me and he said, “Honestly, I don’t know. All know is that I love you.”

I started feeling like there was a spiritual problem tearing us apart. So I joined alpha hour and prayed every night. But nothing has changed between us. The last time I saw him was in July last year. When I need his help he comes through for me but I can’t seem to connect with him when it comes to our relationship. I try to move on but I am unable to. I have ignored a lot of guys because Kwasi is deep-rooted in my heart. I know how it feels to be loved, and love is not what this guy is showing me. So why am I stuck with him? Could it be spiritual? I feel lost. Please, I need answers.