The other day my wife told me, “Dear I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.” Immediately the words hit my ears, my heart started rioting in my chest. I had to put my hand on my chest in an attempt to calm it. While I was struggling to control my breathing, my wife watched me calmly from her end of the couch. It was the same calm and coolness she used to announce the news. She didn’t add any drama to it as if to announce happy news, because why should she? She knew I wouldn’t receive news like this in good spirits.
When I finally managed to compose myself, I told her, “You know we can’t keep it right?” She shook her head and said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Who is not keeping what? I am having this baby come what may.” At this point, I was enraged but I took in deep breaths to keep my head straight.
I tried to reason with her, “Looking at our current financial situation, do you think it’s wise to bring this baby into it?” She shrugged to emphasize her nonchalance. I didn’t want things to get heated so I quietly walked away.
Now, this is why I had such a strong emotional reaction when she told me about the pregnancy. Before we even started talking about marriage, we agreed that we would have two children – a boy and a girl. Yes, we know we can’t determine a baby’s sex but we prayed and hoped God would grant our hearts desires.
At the time we were getting married in 2021, we already had a three-year-old son. So all we were looking for after marriage was a baby girl. God being so good, she conceived a few months after we became husband and wife. And she had a baby girl. You cannot imagine the joy we felt. To have our prayers answered exactly as we prayed it. It was a blessing neither of us took for granted.
After the fuss and brouhaha surrounding the newborn quieted a little, my wife and I had conversations about our family. I told her, “Now we are done with childbirth. All we have to do now is focus on taking good care of the children. So they won’t grow up knowing lack. I know things are hard now but I have hope that our kids will have a good childhood.” My wife objected saying, “I don’t think we should close that chapter just yet. When things get better for us financially, I would want us to have another baby.”
“Which brings me to the point I set out to make,” I went on, “You should get on a family planning method so we don’t have an accident.” We had begun the conversation on the same page so I expected her to agree with me, but this woman said no. I can’t say I wasn’t surprised.
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I asked her why and she said those family planning methods come with complications. When I tried to persuade her she retorted, “If it means so much to you that we don’t have another baby then get a vasectomy,” and then stormed away.
My problem is, this was the same person who said she would want a third child at some point in the future. So how could I get a vasectomy? I tried to explain this to her when she calmed down but she refused to see reason. All she kept saying was, “I won’t do it. I won’t introduce chemicals into my body.”
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Mind you, I earn only GHC2000 a month while she also earns GHC1000 as a salary. Because of both our jobs and the kids, she has hired a house help. So five people are depending on GHC3000 in this difficult economy. Looking at our financial situation, was I being unreasonable when I suggested she get on birth control to prevent surprises we are not ready for?
She fought me on it so I let it go. Only for her to tell me two days ago that she is pregnant again. Was I supposed to jump with joy at the news? Now she is telling me there’s nothing I can do to convince her to get rid of it. Meanwhile, our daughter is only one year and four months old. Don’t you think she is not being reasonable given the situation? I am so frustrated that I don’t know what to do.
— Jake
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You are not being reasonable and she is also doing same. Birth control have effects such as cancer,depression,hallucinations, it might reduce the sex drive of your wife. It can also interfere with her menstrual cycle. Why don’t you wear condoms it easier this way. Besides you forcing her to abort might bring some complications. The future is relative it could be a second from now,a minute,a month and a year etc so if someone says in the future put this in mind. Besides ones definition of future is different from yours so please ask questions. Thank you.
One thing I don’t like about women. They always wants to play mind games when it comes to child birth and they mostly win. Because most the time we’re afraid to called names. This their behavior is a silent killer to most men. It’s always their terms and the bad thing is they don’t communicate with you but rather play mind games with you. Sorry bro.
One thing I don’t like about women. They always wants to play mind games when it comes to child birth and they mostly win. Because most the time we’re afraid to called names. This their behavior is a silent killer to most men. It’s always their terms and the bad thing is they don’t communicate with you but rather play mind games with you. Sorry bro.
I can understand yoyr financial position. You could have or can also use a condom which will be proactive on your part too. Women need to be responsible for everything. both of you have an equal role to play to prevent pregnancies. She isn’t the only one responsible. These things women take, affectbus in the long run. It affects our hormones and makes us prone to cancer. Torture from abortions/ terminations aren’t easy on the mind. look at it that way too. Be considerate.
If you are indeed definite and sincere about your family size then get a vasectomy! Why are you insisting she should endure contraception?
One thing I always say is, whatever you do in this life,make sure God is Glorified at the end of the day. So ask yourself, will God be happy for aborting that innocent child all because of financial instability? Thank you
Because of the economy and your income you want to kill your own child? my dear Jeremiah 1:5, says I knew you in your mother’s womb….. becareful my brother, God is able to take care of the children, just trust Him.
@Nii…. As leader of the home why dont you lead by example….use a condom too.she isnt the only one responsible for prevention.its behoves on both of you. These contraceptives women use affects our hormones and.makes.UA prone to cancers.latex is safer. The mind games or guilt from termination isn’t easy on the woman. Consider that as well.