I have found myself in a predicament that is eating at my soul piece by piece. I know that I brought this upon myself. It is why I am not here to play the victim. I just want the world to hear my story. There may be someone here who is treading my path. I hope to reach them through my experience and save them the pain of finding out what lies ahead. As much as you would be tempted to harshly judge me, do it with kindness, for I am already paying for my mistakes.

It all began in 2019 when I travelled to one of the Gulf countries to work as a domestic help. Anyone who has been to that side of the world for my kind of work understands the loneliness that embraces you wholly. Most of the time they lock us indoors so we don’t have contact with the outside world. The people in the house barely talk to you except to give you instructions for work. No social life of any sort. No presence of community.

In the earlier months, I was managing alright. As time passed though, the isolation started to get to me. I felt cut off from life itself. To cope with this, I spent a lot of time on Facebook. The old me used to ignore messages in my inbox. That became a luxury the lonely me couldn’t afford. I needed company. I needed to feel I belonged somewhere or with someone. This need drove me to engage in conversations with the men in my inbox.

In October of the same year, one guy caught my attention. His name is Amos. He is a mason who was struggling to make it in life. His story touched me. He had a sweet personality too. Well, it’s online. Anyone can reinvent themselves on Facebook. I like to believe that was what happened. And the thing is, I fell for him. All the attention and affection he gave me got to my heart and my head.

His job as a mason was not stable. Sometimes he would get work to do. Other times he would stay at home because he hadn’t gotten any jobs. “I don’t have any money on me. Even food to eat, I don’t have,” he would often complain. The love I had for him softened my heart toward him and his plight. I wanted to help make life easier for him so he would not be broke and hungry all the time.

One day I asked him what he would like to do apart from the masonry work. He answered, “I have a land I want to use for farming but there’s no money to start work on the farm. If only I can get someone to invest in this dream of mine, I will have something to rely on when times become hard.” I believed farming was a good idea. And also a good investment for all the money I had saved up working.

I am sure we all know where I am going with this but I will tell you anyway. I invested all my savings into Amos’ farm. He would call to tell me how things were going and ask for money to do one or two things. This continued until I was ready to return to Ghana. At this point, I had given all my money to Amos to start his farm. Needless to say, I returned empty handed.

I expected to meet a thriving farm and a return on my investments but there was nothing. He said the crops didn’t do well so he incurred losses instead. To think that all the work I did over there amounted to nothing because I chose to trust a man I met on the internet broke me. I was even ashamed to go home.

I felt I had already gotten in too deep and lost everything to him so I chose to forgive him and continue with the relationship. We lived together in a rented apartment. Things were not bad. He continued to be the sweet guy I met on Facebook. For a whole year, we lived together happily.

We didn’t have money but I was doing odd jobs here and there while he also depended on the contractors who called him for jobs. The two of us together made it work until I got pregnant. That was when he started changing.

He started disrespecting me but it was subtle. I associated it with the stress of added responsibilities. I was sure that all he needed was a little time to get used to things. However, his behaviour only got worse with time.

After I gave birth, his subtle disrespect metamorphosed into a full-blown abuse. I am not talking about only emotional and psychological abuse. He got physical too. The first time it happened, he apologized when he came to his senses. He said he lost control. Now though, it has become his default response to anything I do that annoys him. I am nursing our child but it doesn’t matter. He deals me one beating after the other.

The other day he went to work and was paid over GHC9000. I asked him to give me some of the money to start something so I would have a stable income. Amos bought goods with the money and restocked his ex-girlfriend’s shop instead. He knows I am currently not working because of the baby but he doesn’t seem to care.

READ ALSO: Every Man I Love Leaves Me For Another Woman

When I tried to talk to him about it, he got angry and beat me up. I was bloody and bruised before he stopped. Now I am sure that he can unalive me one day if I don’t leave him. The question is, where will I go?

When I think about going back to my parents’ place I feel ashamed. Even though I supported them a little, I didn’t do anything extra for them. It was Amos I invested all my money in. So how do I expect my parents to cater for me and my son penniless? I can imagine how my mother would feel having me in the single room they all live in. I know I wronged them and I feel that pain.

She Cried That Day On The Altar

So I am here stuck in this abusive relationship with the man who squandered all my life savings on a supposed farm. I am so unhappy that I feel myself sinking into depression. I want to run away with my son but who will give me a job with accommodation when I have a year old boy? Even if I want to leave him behind and go in search of a job, I don’t have anyone to hold him for me. I feel so lost.

I know I went against God’s word when I chose my path with Amos but where I am now, only His divine intervention can change my story. I didn’t start out to make these terrible mistakes. I had good intentions and a trusting heart but this is where it has led me. Maybe I was too naïve. Maybe I was too blinded by love. Whatever it is, I am human. If I have found myself here, it’s possible someone else might be on this path. So I hope my story serves as a lesson to whoever needs it before they realize too late their folly.

— Emma

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB