When Ike proposed love to me, I didn’t say a straight yes. He talked about marriage. He was a nice guy but I didn’t come from a simple background. It is my goal to go far in life and make my family proud. Because of this, I have always been careful about my relationship with men. The last thing I want is to get attached to a man who will derail me from my path. I have too many people counting on me to mess up. That’s why I told Ike, “Why don’t we take our time and study each other first before we start talking about love or marriage.”

I believe in building friendship above everything. So that’s what we did. We were building our friendship in hopes of progressing to a romantic relationship leading to marriage. I work as a nurse in one of the renowned hospitals in Accra. Along the line, we planned that he would come and know where I live. He came there and the vibe was good. He then decided he would go check out where I work as well. I was impressed by how invested he was in knowing me. So I agreed to take him there.

He wears glasses, just as I do. When we finished our tour and we were on our way home, he asked me about my glasses. “How much did it cost you to buy them?” I told him the price. He wrinkled his nose and said, “It’s expensive. I will not buy mine for the price you bought yours.” He then brought out two glasses from his bag and asked me to choose one for him. Before I did I asked him, “Where did you bought it?” By then we were about to alight. This guy heard me but didn’t respond.

To make sure he would hear me properly this time, I repeated myself but this time around I was louder, “Where did you bought it?” He frowned and continued to ignore me. I asked him the same question repeatedly until the trotro got to our stop and we got down. The moment our feet touched the ground he turned to me and said, “You were speaking bad grammar. I ignored you hoping you would take the cue and correct yourself, but you just kept repeating the same horrible English.” I was stunned. But he wasn’t done.

While I quietly stood there trying to find my thoughts, he went on, “If this is the kind of grammar you speak, then you can’t walk with me.” I was deeply hurt by this. All I thought was, “This guy doesn’t know my story. He doesn’t know where I began. He has no idea how much perseverance it took me to even speak the bad English he mocked me for. If only he knew how hard I worked to get to where I am in life, he wouldn’t judge me.”

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I was born and raised in a remote village where both my parents were farmers. The villages in that area were made up of farms and the farmers who lived on the farms. We also lived on a farm. One that shared a boundary with a forest reserve. Late at night, you would hear the sounds of wild animals and birds. Those were our closest neighbours. The village had a school but not enough teachers. So sometimes they would combine two or more classes. Needless to say, we didn’t get proper education.

Despite my humble beginning, I was determined to make my family proud. I didn’t pay attention to the obstacles in my way. I did my best and gave every opportunity I was presented my best. God being so good, my daddy built a house for us in the city. So we moved to Accra after I completed SHS. I enrolled in nursing school, and today I am a nurse. It took me grit and wit to get there so I didn’t like that he spoke to me as if I was dumb just because I mixed up my tenses. I was too pained to talk, so I just left him there and went home.


When I got home I sent him a message, “I said we should study each other for now, but I am no longer interested in seeing this through. Why did you have to react so strongly to my grammatical error like that? You hurt my feelings.” This guy said he didn’t do anything wrong so he would never apologize. “I was just correcting you but you are here overreacting,” he said. Let’s just say I am enjoying my single life now. And guess what?

The very person who said he did nothing wrong is in my DMs apologizing for his actions. He wants me to forgive him and give him a second chance. I am not accepting him today or tomorrow. I hope I took a bold step. If you don’t know the genesis of someone’s story don’t be in a hurry to judge them by your standards. I have decided to remain single until I meet a man who is patient enough to teach me or correct my English without insulting me.

—Akua

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