When Ike proposed love to me, I didn’t say a straight yes. He talked about marriage. He was a nice guy but I didn’t come from a simple background. It is my goal to go far in life and make my family proud. Because of this, I have always been careful about my relationship with men. The last thing I want is to get attached to a man who will derail me from my path. I have too many people counting on me to mess up. That’s why I told Ike, “Why don’t we take our time and study each other first before we start talking about love or marriage.”
I believe in building friendship above everything. So that’s what we did. We were building our friendship in hopes of progressing to a romantic relationship leading to marriage. I work as a nurse in one of the renowned hospitals in Accra. Along the line, we planned that he would come and know where I live. He came there and the vibe was good. He then decided he would go check out where I work as well. I was impressed by how invested he was in knowing me. So I agreed to take him there.
He wears glasses, just as I do. When we finished our tour and we were on our way home, he asked me about my glasses. “How much did it cost you to buy them?” I told him the price. He wrinkled his nose and said, “It’s expensive. I will not buy mine for the price you bought yours.” He then brought out two glasses from his bag and asked me to choose one for him. Before I did I asked him, “Where did you bought it?” By then we were about to alight. This guy heard me but didn’t respond.
To make sure he would hear me properly this time, I repeated myself but this time around I was louder, “Where did you bought it?” He frowned and continued to ignore me. I asked him the same question repeatedly until the trotro got to our stop and we got down. The moment our feet touched the ground he turned to me and said, “You were speaking bad grammar. I ignored you hoping you would take the cue and correct yourself, but you just kept repeating the same horrible English.” I was stunned. But he wasn’t done.
While I quietly stood there trying to find my thoughts, he went on, “If this is the kind of grammar you speak, then you can’t walk with me.” I was deeply hurt by this. All I thought was, “This guy doesn’t know my story. He doesn’t know where I began. He has no idea how much perseverance it took me to even speak the bad English he mocked me for. If only he knew how hard I worked to get to where I am in life, he wouldn’t judge me.”
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I was born and raised in a remote village where both my parents were farmers. The villages in that area were made up of farms and the farmers who lived on the farms. We also lived on a farm. One that shared a boundary with a forest reserve. Late at night, you would hear the sounds of wild animals and birds. Those were our closest neighbours. The village had a school but not enough teachers. So sometimes they would combine two or more classes. Needless to say, we didn’t get proper education.
Despite my humble beginning, I was determined to make my family proud. I didn’t pay attention to the obstacles in my way. I did my best and gave every opportunity I was presented my best. God being so good, my daddy built a house for us in the city. So we moved to Accra after I completed SHS. I enrolled in nursing school, and today I am a nurse. It took me grit and wit to get there so I didn’t like that he spoke to me as if I was dumb just because I mixed up my tenses. I was too pained to talk, so I just left him there and went home.
When I got home I sent him a message, “I said we should study each other for now, but I am no longer interested in seeing this through. Why did you have to react so strongly to my grammatical error like that? You hurt my feelings.” This guy said he didn’t do anything wrong so he would never apologize. “I was just correcting you but you are here overreacting,” he said. Let’s just say I am enjoying my single life now. And guess what?
The very person who said he did nothing wrong is in my DMs apologizing for his actions. He wants me to forgive him and give him a second chance. I am not accepting him today or tomorrow. I hope I took a bold step. If you don’t know the genesis of someone’s story don’t be in a hurry to judge them by your standards. I have decided to remain single until I meet a man who is patient enough to teach me or correct my English without insulting me.
—Akua
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That’s all . Relationship is not about I love you only. Its about having the patience to teach one another and learn from each other. Don’t mind him kraa. You even deserve better mostly those who really know good English will overlook your error and correct you . The people who brought English and speak it because it’s theirs make mistakes. All I can say don’t allow someone’s comment to cause you to despise yourself and your little beginning.
He could have corrected you in a better way,I believe you made the right decision and I hope you meet a better man than him.
Hmmmmmmmmm! Every steps human beings take is judged. Give him a second chance and also school him about your upbringing.
My sister,it’s a good decision you called it quit because if he truly loves you,he will correct you rather than judging you wrongly
I pray you meet that man who will love you for who you are
I SIDE WITH OMEIZA 100%.. HEY DEAR IF HE”S GOOD KEEP HIM AND COMMUNICATE YOUR FEARS BUT IF HE REPEATS THIS MISTAKE THE 2ND AND 3RD , PLEASE JAPPA.. WE’RE ALL BOUND TO ERR BUT FORGIVE, REKINDLE AND LOVE SWEETHEART…..
“You mentioned, ‘You are determined to make your family proud and not pay attention to any obstacles.’ That’s a commendable decision. My dear, we all occasionally mix up our tenses and grammar when speaking or writing in English. It wasn’t right for someone to insult or look down on you because of that.
However, you have the option to accept his apology and give him a second chance if you desire. Alternatively, you can focus on your single life and decline to take him back. The choice is yours. Perhaps he has realized his mistake and wishes to make amends.”
As already said by Omeiza and EM please give him another chance but before you do tell him what you’ve gone through to be able to even speak your little English and ask him if he is not going to feel embarrassed if it happens again. But mind you, your colleagues also will laugh at you as you progress in the cooperate world but don’t mind anyone, and be yourself at all times. Enjoy your life my sister
There’s always a second chance in our lives, I think he deserves it
He may be a melancholic person, they always want things in order. take it as his weakness