When I started my new job in Tema, Collins was the first friend I made. Our friendship has waxed strong since then. Everybody at work knows that he is my person.

No matter how close we seemed, everything between us was purely platonic.

About a year ago, my childhood friend reached out and asked me to help her get a job. We didn’t have any vacancy at my workplace but I spoke to some people, pulled some strings, and managed to work some things around in her favour. We got a slot for her.

Shortly after she started working with us, I observed that she was getting close to Collins. While I was happy that my two friends were getting along well, it came to light that there was more to their closeness than just friendship. They were a couple.

They didn’t tell me they were dating but I was happy for them. I cheered them on silently and even envisioned myself at their wedding someday.

I also hoped that at some point they would open up to me about their relationship. However, that was not meant to be. After about three months together, I noticed that they were no longer close.

I asked Collins, “What’s going on with you and my girlfriend?” He said, “We had a misunderstanding and broke up.” I felt sorry to hear this. I asked my childhood friend the same question. She answered, “Collins and I never had a relationship. We were just friends.” My plan was to help her through the break-up if she opened up to me but when she didn’t, I left her alone.

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Along the line, Collins said he was in love with me. He proposed that we start dating. I also like him so I said yes. The problem is that we’ve kept our relationship a secret right from the beginning.

The other day he told me, “I want us to make our relationship known to everyone who cares to know. I am tired of loving you in the shadows.” I also want to love him openly but I am worried.

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I don’t know what my childhood friend would think of me if I told her. What if it changes the way she feels about me? I feel like I can’t have him as a lover and her as my friend.

So my question is, should I let this guy go so I could preserve my friendship? Or I should hold on to him even if it means losing my friend? I love him. What do I do?

— Yaa Mansah

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