I’m a 34-year-old single mother to a 7-year-old boy. He doesn’t know his father, so there’s no “baby daddy drama” in any relationship I enter. That said, I’m very careful about who I let into my life. I don’t have much, so I try not to get into trouble. If I am not busy mothering, I am out there hustling to make ends meet.

Evans knew this about me when we became friends. He always praised me for how hard I worked. One day he told me, “A hardworking woman like you is who I need by my side to journey through life with. This is why I find myself in love with you. Will you give me a chance so we build something beautiful together?”

I was in a place where I also wanted to have someone. He was someone I had gotten to know and I liked. I said, “Yes, let’s give us a chance to build something beautiful.”

We were together for six months. Throughout this period, he never took me to his house. Every time I asked to know where he lived, he assured me we would go there soon.

We always met at my place. He never left even a penny behind after visiting, but I always cooked for him. The only time he ever gave me money was when I got stranded in town and asked him for GHS100.

I surprised him on his birthday with a cake, wine, and paid for delivery to be sent to his workplace. Shortly after that, we got into a fight and I broke up with him. When I calmed down, I spoke to his friend to help me get him back.

Evans got upset that I brought his friend into our issues. He blocked me on WhatsApp and sent an audio message to me through my friend saying, “You’re not the only woman on earth. I see more beautiful girls than you every day.” He also said he never asked me for anything on his birthday.

I was deeply hurt by those words. If not for anything, I was his girlfriend. He had seen my nakedness many times, so why compare me to other women? Did he not see those women before he chose me?

Regardless of my pain, I accepted that I did wrong when I involved another person in our relationship. So I tried everything to apologize.

I contacted him using different numbers, but whenever he heard my voice, he’d say he was busy and hang up. He never replied to my texts. I just wanted him to forgive me because I was heartbroken.

Eventually, I ordered a gift for him, a Hermes item, and included an apology card. When he received it, he texted me saying, “Your gifts were not necessary, but thanks tho.”

If that voice message hurt me, then this message broke me. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep with his picture on my chest. I didn’t think I would ever recover until I woke up one morning with a renewed spirit.

I woke up and said to myself, “This is embarrassing. You need to be strong and move on.” It wasn’t easy, but I created a system for myself. I pinned a card on my wall with days marked on it, a makeshift calendar. Every day I went without calling or texting him, I ticked it off.

Gradually, I got better. I went days without contacting him, and he never reached out either.

I was happy I was finally healing… until recently, when he texted me,“I miss you.” Then he added, “What have you done to me? I can’t get you out of my head.”

That message triggered me. It reminded me that I am still not over him. It also brought back the pain of how he treated me when things were bad.

I feel torn.

The idea of starting over in a new relationship scares me. That’s why a part of me wants to go back. It’s just that the other part of me that’s still hurt says I should move on.

Should I let everything go and go back to him? Or I should keep moving on with my life?

I know people say, “You don’t advise a woman in love,” but I need sincere advice. I’m not in the relationship anymore. I just need guidance on what to do. I’m not a bad person, but it feels like I’m always unlucky in love.

– Amy