I met this guy on my way home from clinical one day. He introduced himself as Desmond, a half-Nigerian and half-Ghanaian who works in a reputable bank in the Ashanti Region. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We started texting and speaking on the phone from then. He asked that we meet on a proper date so he could know more about me. My mum is the type who wouldn’t permit me to go out to meet a man so I had to come up with a plan to go on this date.

A week after I met Desmond, I told my mum I had to go for a night shift and ended up meeting Desmond at a hotel he said he was living at. He said he was looking for accommodation and hadn’t gotten one yet. I didn’t intend to but I ended up having shuperu with him. A few days after the incident I started itching down there. There were some funny discharges too. I visited the hospital and was diagnosed with gonorrhea. I was advised to bring my partner for treatment. When I told Desmond he sent me photos of some drugs he claimed he was also taking.

A few weeks later, I visited him at a house. He said it was his family house. He introduced me to his aunt. This made me feel a little safe. When school reopened, I had to leave town for school. However, a few weeks before Desmond’s birthday he said, “All I want for my birthday is to spend it with my girlfriend. Can you come and visit me so we celebrate the day together?” I said yes and we planned that I would spend a week with him.

I was yet to meet him when he started asking me for money. It was very subtle but I noticed it. He would say something like, “I was about to cook and realized my gas is finished. I also don’t have cash on me, can you send me something small to manage till I go to the bank?” The first two times I felt he was genuinely inconvenienced so I gave him the money. When he came back again the third time I told him, “Desmond I am in school. I don’t have enough money to be sending you whenever you are in a tight spot.” He told me not to worry and that he would refund me everything I sent him when I visit for his birthday.

The next thing he did was to start saying, “Babe, I miss you so much. I wish I could have some photos of you to look at whenever I get lonely.” I sent him regular photos and he said, “Very nice. Now, can you send me something I can look at in the shower? Something with you wearing nothing.” I told him I wasn’t comfortable doing that. So he stopped answering my calls. I became upset and very concerned. I called him so many times but he never answered even once. Out of curiosity, I used my friend’s phone to call him and he picked up. We spoke, worked out our issues, and went ahead with our plans to meet.

He told me he couldn’t take me to his family’s house because his uncle was at home. So he arranged for a room in a hotel near the house. I joined a bus to Kumasi early in the morning, got to the hotel he told me about, and was offered a room. He arrived at the hotel later that day wearing braids, earrings, and dirty torn clothes. He told me, “Pardon my appearance. I came straight from a photoshoot. I am modeling for a ghetto shoot. I will get rid of all these as soon as possible.” He then took my phone and used it until the battery ran out. After that, we had the worst sex of my life. I wasn’t ready but he seemed to be in a hurry. I ended up getting hurt and bleeding.

After the shuperu he took the birthday presents I bought for him and said, “Let me take these home and come back in the evening with more clothes for our one-week stay. I waited for him all evening but Desmond didn’t show up. My phone was low and I didn’t have a charger on me. I had no way of reaching him. The next day I was there wondering if something had happened to him when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it only to find the receptionist standing in the doorway. She told me the room hadn’t been paid for. My legs started shaking because I was only left with my transportation back to school. To avoid shame, I gave that money to the receptionist and asked for a charger.

After charging my phone for a few minutes, I set out to look for Desmond. I got to his family house but before I could enter a boy shouted, “Desmond is not at home.” I left and came back a second time but the boy was still there insisting Desmond was not at home. I told him that Desmond asked me to come. He told me to wait outside, then he went inside and came to tell me the same thing, “Desmond is not at home.” I called his number severally, and he would pick up and hang up. At some point, he even started calling me names, “Ashawo, cheap girl, go back to wherever you came from.” I went back to the hotel in tears. That was when the receptionist revealed to me that Desmond’s real name is Sammy. He wasn’t a banker but a student. The house he sent me to belongs to his close friend not his family. It hurt the way he treated me but it hurt more to find out that everything he told me was a lie.

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After several weeks of drowning in self-loathe and depression, I got better. I started to move on when Desmond or Sammy called me out of the blue. Before I could hang up he said, “I am sorry for everything I did to you. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially a good person like you. I think there is something medically wrong with me, that’s the only logical explanation for what I did. I genuinely like you so why would I do that to you? Please let’s meet in person so I can apologize to you properly.” I was not expecting an apology after what he did so I was taken by surprise. I was also not expecting him to call me every day and apologize but that’s what he did.

He said he was determined to prove to me how sorry he was. I told him, “I believe you are sorry but I will not let you back into my life to hurt me again.” He decided to pick a car to my school just to apologize again. When he got there he called me, “I am at a friend’s place. He lives close to your school. Can you come for us to talk?” It was a Sunday afternoon and I had a lot of time on my hands so I went to meet him. I just needed some answers. I wanted to understand why he singled me out and lied to me the way he did.

When I got there he and his friend asked that I cook something for us to eat and I obliged. Desmond offered me something to change into so I wouldn’t get food stains on my dress. I accepted his offer thinking he was being sweet and thoughtful. He was completely different from the person who lied to me and called me names. I cooked while he tried to explain himself to me. After cooking, I went to change back into my clothes only for Desmond to enter the room with a phone in his ears. He said sorry when he found me naked and walked out. I was naked because I decided to wash down before dressing up.

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I got to school only for him to send me a video of myself naked. He sent me a text after the video, “I heard you are going to be paid an allowance soon. If you don’t give me some of the money I will leak your videos.” For a second time, I blocked and deleted his number. He had no access to me so he couldn’t blackmail me and extort money from me. So many years have passed since that incident and I am getting ready to get married. Just recently I received a video call from an unknown number. It was this Desmond Sammy guy. He told me, “I want to show you something.” I didn’t wait to see whatever he wanted to show me. I hung up immediately and blocked the number. I have not heard from him again but I know he still has my naked video. Please how do I make him delete it?

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