How She Set Me Up So She could Leave And Marry Her Ex

The day I proposed to her she said no. She explained, “There is this guy in my life. We’ve dated for two years and all of a sudden, he’s playing hide and seek with me. He traveled abroad without telling me and ever since he had been there, he had treated me as if I don’t matter. I want to be sure it’s over between us before I could start something with you.”

I understood her point and left her to settle her issues. One day she said to me, “I think I’m wasting my time waiting for someone who isn’t coming for me. I’m moving on.”

That marked the beginning of our relationship. It was difficult at first. She was always looking back to see if that boy was coming back for her but time and time again, she saw no sign.

Two years later, we decided to make things official. My family went to see her family and did the ‘knocking’ ceremony. We then arranged to have a wedding in the next seven months.

After the ‘knocking’, we rented an apartment together but I didn’t move in with her since we were not yet married. She was the only one staying in the apartment.

Just some weeks after the ‘knocking’ everything changed…

I met a lady called ‘Barbara’. Barbara claimed she had been in the same secondary school as me and was two years my junior. She told me a lot of things only people in the school then would know. We began getting close and later met a couple of times.

My girlfriend started putting up an attitude. She wasn’t seeing me as often as she used to, she hardly picked up my calls and was hardly home anytime I went around to see her. She said nothing was wrong but I knew there was something wrong. I made several attempts to get her to tell me what the issue was but she wouldn’t say anything.

Then one night she came to my place to tell me she was traveling. She said it was job-related and she would be going away for five days. She spent the night at my place that night and for the first time in a long while, I felt everything was alright.

Then she traveled. That very day she traveled, Barbara called and asked if I could make time to meet her over the weekend and I said yeah. I asked where and she said, “I don’t even know where you live, why don’t we meet at your place then? I have all day.” I agreed and gave her directions.

We agreed to meet in the afternoon but she got to my place around 7pm. Something wasn’t right and I could sense it. Her dressing and how she threw herself on my bed when she entered the room left me sensing danger. She was all over the place and touching everything.

I got her to sit down in a chair and we started talking. Soon it was 8pm and then 9pm but there was no sign of her leaving. I told her it was getting late but she paid little attention to me and instead kept tapping on her phone. She left the chair and threw herself into my bed again. As soon as she fell onto the bed, my door flanked open and there she was—my girlfriend. She came with her junior sister.

A lot went on that night that I couldn’t explain. It was like a dream that made no sense. She kept screaming on top of her voice asking why I had a girl in my room and on my bed at that time. Barbara kept saying I didn’t tell her I had a girlfriend. The whole thing felt like a drama I’ve been forced to act in without a script.

The next morning she sent me a text telling me it was over. I thought she was joking. I only got to know she was serious when her dad called me later and insulted me. He asked me to come for my ‘knocking’ drink because he was not ready to allow her daughter to marry a womanizer.

I apologized. I sent a delegation to offer an apology too but nothing good came out of it. Just as the father said, they returned the drink three days later.

That was in February. In the month of June, she had a traditional wedding with her ex-boyfriend who had returned from abroad recently. Again, nothing made sense to me.

I thought of it deeply. I asked myself questions and I asked people questions too. Everything happened so fast—faster than you could say Jack. But through all the lies, someone was truthful to me. She said; “You were played. She only wanted an escape—a reason to leave you so she planted Barbara.”

That also didn’t make sense until she showed me a photo of Barbara at the traditional wedding. I felt cheated. I was so angry I wanted to go to her house and cause a scene. Why didn’t she just walk away instead of creating all that senseless drama?

The One Fart That Brought Our Relationship To an End

It’s been six years now but I still feel the hurt I went through. It pains me anytime I think of her and how she allowed herself to be used that way.

Her husband went back after the marriage and to date, he hasn’t returned. Sometimes I see her wearing her ring. Other times too I see her without it. It’s a small town and everybody knows our story. People believe she’s being punished for what she did to me.

I don’t know if that’s true but what I know to be true is that I’m married now to a wonderful woman who makes life easier for me and that’s all that matters.

—Edem, Ghana

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